


Insomnia

by bluesunggod



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Dancer Lee Minho | Lee Know, Han Jisung | Han & Kim Seungmin are Best Friends, Han Jisung | Han & Lee Felix are Best Friends, Han Jisung | Han is Oblivious, Han Jisung | Han-centric, Happy Ending, Is Anyone Reading These Tags?, Lee Minho | Lee Know is Whipped, Lee Minho | Lee Know is a Sweetheart, M/M, Mild Smut, Minor Han Jisung | Han/Hwang Hyunjin, Minor Han Jisung | Han/Lee Felix, References to Depression, References to Drugs, Sad Han Jisung | Han, fancy soty, if u see this ily, jisung is lowkey a minor for a hot sec, stan ATEEZ, stream levanter
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-06
Updated: 2020-12-25
Packaged: 2021-02-26 00:00:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 63,319
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21664099
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bluesunggod/pseuds/bluesunggod
Summary: listen, Jisung does drugs and thats all lmaoI can't write summaries
Relationships: Bang Chan/Lee Felix/Seo Changbin, Han Jisung | Han & Everyone, Han Jisung | Han/Lee Minho | Lee Know, Hwang Hyunjin/Kim Seungmin
Comments: 18
Kudos: 134





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [nyamgi](https://archiveofourown.org/users/nyamgi/gifts).



His thumb brushed along the lighter, the flame flickering as it lit up it's target. His lips wrapped the mouth piece as he inhaled deeply, his eyes closing as he felt the rush go through his head. It used to be for a good reason but now it has just became a normal feeling, something he was addicted to. He moved his mouth as he blew out the smoke with a sigh of relief. His brain registering his high in a matter of seconds. He has trained himself so well to take this into his body, he's a natural at this point. His intake more than what his excuses covered. He took a deeper breath only to have his door slammed open, the smoke blowing out of his mouth as it formed into a frown. _Great._ He was caught doing something at the wrong time by none other than the one person who would care enough to yell about it.

"Jisung what-" The male who burst into the room seemed frazzled, his hair sticking up in places and his eyes wide as he stared at the other as he was siting in his windowsill. "Jisung why are you smoking weed at a time like this? Are you seriously going to use that damn insomnia excuse on me when it's fucking the middle of the day!" Jisung stared at him blankly before going back to his business as if the other wasn't even there. His lips blowing out the smoke before speaking up. "You know Hyunjin, with my insomnia I don't sleep well at the normal times you would. So maybe I am trying to go to bed at noon. The world could never know." He hummed as he took a deep inhale in before placing his bong to the side. "Happy? I'm done." His voice laced in annoyance as he stared down Hyunjin. 

"Oh bullshit, give it to me." Jisung's eyes followed to Hyunjin's hands were motioning to before laughing and shaking his head. "No way, wouldn't want you taking a hit as well would we?" His tongue sticking out annoyed before opening the window to air out his room, the smell of weed messing with his head. Hyunjin practically growled before yanking Jisung up from his spot on the window sill, the fabric of his shirt clenched into his fist. Their faces inches apart, the smell of weed being obnoxiously evident as the two became closer. Jisung's eyes seemed glazed as he stared at Hyunjin before pecking his lips with a smirk. "Now please let go of me darling, I have sleeping to catch up on." He smiled sweetly before snaking his arms around Hyunjin's body. "You're being...a real asshat right now Hyunjinie." His voice sickly sweet as he moved to kiss along Hyunjin's cheek, he other seething in rage as he pushed Jisung away. 

"I'm being the asshat?! Really? Because if I do recall, and I _do,_ You promised me you wouldn't go smoking in our goddamn room! You promised that you would only use it for insomniac reasons and honestly _Sungie_ you haven't acted on any of those promises!" His voice sharp as he stabbed into Jisung's nickname like a dagger. His eyes filled with rage as he yanked at his own strands of hair, his teeth gritting as he tried to keep his cool. "I told you I wouldn't go telling your parents you smoked weed if you kept your end of the deal! And quite frankly, I have yet to see you fucking think about me for once! I let you live with me and I let you smoke to help with your insomnia and honestly Jisung? What have you done for me? I'm your fucking boyfriend! At least you could have some common decency and act on what you say? I've had enough of your bullshit and I honestly am up to the last fucking straw with you!"

Jisung's eyebrows lifted before laughing softly before shaking his head, his stomach almost hurting as he started to laugh harder. "Oh so I'm the one out of line? Really? Hyunjin I fucking do this for my damn health! You, as my _fucking boyfriend_ should know that best! Is it such a crime to need something in my fucking system so I can sleep peacefully at night? You should know how bad my nightmares get! You've fucking calmed me down from them countless of times! So please, tell me how I'm the one in the wrong here?" Hyunjin scoffed before throwing his hands up in the air as if he was surrendering. "Oh right my bad, THE fucking Han Jisung could never be wrong! His mommy and daddy didn't raise a failure! You know how I see it Jisung? I see this fucking insomnia excuse as a mask to cover your weed addiction! Admit it you're hooked! And quite frankly Jisung, I don't want to be in this relationship if that's all you're going to be doing. I can't take you anywhere without you complaining about it or having your stupid addiction get in the way! I fucking want my boyfriend back!"

Jisung crossed his arms before shifting his weight, his eyes narrowed as his lips pressed into a frown. "You want your boyfriend back? I never fucking left! This is who I am! SO what if you can't handle that! I don't fucking need you to hold my hand through my life! I'm a grown ass man!" Hyunjin laughed at that softly, his eyebrows raising at the comment. "Jisung tell me how you're so grown up when you're barely 17 years old? I'm the one keeping us stable and you know it. You would be in such a worse situation if I weren't here breathing down that damn neck of yours!" Jisung plugged his ears with his fingers as he rolled his eyes. "Lalalala! I can't hear your utter bullshit!" Hyunjin seethed with annoyance before groaning louldy, "You're proving my point! You act like a fucking child! You're just a huge brat!" Jisung unplugged his ears before smirking, his face giving off a smug look. "No you."

Hyunjin's mouth dropped, that was the last straw. "You know what Jisung? You never seem to act anything close to your age! I can't keep dating such an irresponsible brat! You have a day to get your shit out of my house and leave before I tell your parents everything you do behind their backs." Jisung stopped his act instantly. His shoulders dropping as his heart sank. "You're breaking up with me?" Hyunjin turned from the other and left the room with the question floating through the dense air. Jisung swallowed hard before starting to pack what he had, his face stinging as he bit his lip to keep back his cries. Hyunjin had made him feel safe from his nightmares. Hyunjin had held him close countless nights and would make him feel wanted. Hyunjin would tell him how much he was wanted and loved on the good days. They had their bad days but none of them ended like this, their fights usually lasting a few hours before Hyunjin would come crawling back with some huge apology. But Jisung had a feeling this fight wasn't going to end like the rest. Once he had finished packing he had left Hyunjin's apartment keys on the table before starting the walk to the road to get a cab to his parents house. He never really enjoyed that stupid place but he really had no where else to go, Hyunjin was his escape from the high end and high standards of his family. His fingers held his parent's doorknob before twisting it slowly. His voice traveling through the house as he announced his arrival.

The family's servants greeted him first with smiling faces. "Oh Mr.Han we've missed you! My, you smell awful! Let's get you changed and all washed up shall we? Go shoo, wash up and we'll take care of your clothes okay sweetie?" He nodded as he took his suitcase to his old room, it hadn't changed a bit. His windows still closed and his curtains still blocking out any sunlight. He hummed as he unpacked his things and undressed walking into his bathroom. He took the longest shower he possibly could hoping to get the smell of weed off his skin and out of his hair. He walked out in a baggy sweater and jeans only to meet the serious face of his dad outside his bedroom. "I've been informed that my son was back. May I ask why? You seemed perfectly content on running away with your boyfriend." Jisung's mind cluttered as he tried to think of an excuse but it went absolutely blank. "He broke up with me." His voice was flat as he pushed pass his father praying for no further questions but he only ran into his mother as well. He sighed as he leaned against the wall, his parents standing on both sides of him. 

"Hyunjin broke up with me, what's there else to say? I moved back here since I was living in his house after all. That's all, please excuse me." He started to walk away but his mother pulled him back to his spot. "Sweetie, you two were so happy together what happened?" Jisung took a deep breath before sighing dramatically. "He just was annoyed with me I guess. He didn't tell me much he just blew up on me and then just left and told me I had a day to leave. He kicked me out and that's all that there is to the story. So please. Excuse me." He walked past his parents and grabbed a coat before heading out the door. He just needed to get high and or wasted. He didn't care about the outcome, he just needed to get Hyunjin off his mind. He scuffed his feet against the sidewalk as he watched his feet walked aimlessly towards some sort of destination. His body bringing him to one of the bars Hyunjin and him went to earlier in their relationship, he shrugged off the memory of the other as he walked into the doors and made his way straight to the bar. He sat down and leaned against the bar with a hum. He took drink after drink in, not even noticing a blonde man sitting next to him and sliding the drinks to him. His eyes only caught a glance at him as he chuckled at how Jisung seemed to chug the drinks down as if it were a contest. "Slow down there fella, wouldn't want you passing out and ending up in the wrong hands." Jisung raised his eyebrow before leaning against the other man with a smile. "Oh how caring of you, I guess you'll have to protect me huh?" His voice flirty as he looked up at the other man with a big grin. "I wouldn't mind falling into your hands, you seem confident and strong. You'll protect me from all the bad guys won't you?"

The other gulped before brushing Jisung's hair behind his ear with a smile. "Of course, why don't we get to know each other more in a less crowded area hm?" Jisung nodded before clinging onto the other's arm. "I'm Jisung by the way." He smiled up at the other before snuggling his head into the crook of his neck. "Chan." The other said before pulling the two outside, it only being seconds until Jisung's lips crashed into his. His arms wrapped around Chan's neck as the two pressed together. Jisung pulled away first with a soft giggle as his hands played with the blonde strands of Chan's hair. "What brings such an attractive man like yourself here?" Chan chuckled softly before pushing the other's bangs out of his eyes before kissing his forehead gently. "Boyfriend is off doing his own thing with our other partner." Jisung looked up before leaning back with a soft laugh. "Oh my god! He's in a threesome- god that's kinda hot." He grinned before pecking at Chan's lips again. "Trouble in paradise with your two boyfriends huh?" Chan hummed before running his hands down Jisung's sides, stopping at his waist as he pulled the smaller closer. "You could say that, though you seem perfectly fine to help me forget about it." That was true, Jisung wouldn't mind having a little fun with this guy. He was way hotter than Hyunjin and he was pretty nice towards Jisung. 

"You know..I wouldn't mind. But I'm in a rough patch and I have one condition." He spoke softly, Chan rubbing his waist as his hands had already made their way under his shirt. "Anything darling, there's no cost I can't meet." Jisung hummed softly before moving to whisper in Chan's ear. "I need some drugs, like. I _need_ them. I'll go insane without some fucking coke in my system." He leaned back down as Chan smiled softly before nodding. "I can have that arranged buttercup." He scooped Jisung up before having their lips meet more roughly, Jisung practically mewling in response. The attention giving his mind it's own high as he enjoyed every second of it. "Before we do this. I need to have my end of the deal, I won't run off on you I promise. I just..need to know that you're legit." Chan smiled before placing Jisung into his car, his lips pressing against his lips before closing the door. "I have some at my house, promise I'm not kidnapping you." Jisung got a chuckle from the response as he watched Chan get into his seat, his body immediately moving from the passenger seat to straddle Chan's lap with a smirk. "Hey, I just really need attention right now so if you could just hold me close as you drive I'll be content." Chan smiled at the request, one hand resting in Jisung's back jeans pocket as the other held the wheel as he drove. Jisuung's head resting on his shoulder, his lips gently pecking at his neck. 

The two had made it somehow to Chan's room with all their clothes on, Jisung all over Chan as he brought him to his room. Jisung sat on the bed watching the other's every move, his eyes sparkling as Chan held a bag in front of his face. Dangling it in front of him before dropping it into his hands. Jisung hummed happily before placing it into his jacket that was now on the ground by the bed. "I told you I wasn't going to run didn't I?" Chan smiled before pressing their lips against each other again. The night flashing before their eyes, Jisung now snuggling up to Chan's bare chest as the two panted softly. Wow. He _really_ just did that. With a complete stranger no less, but it did help him with his goal for that night. He forgot about Hyunjin and a bonus, he got some drugs for later. He snuggled up to the other male as he fell asleep slowly, his mind way too drugged up to have any sort of dream. 

His eyes slowly opened the next morning, Chan still fast asleep next to him. It was a gorgeous sight really, his pretty blonde hair sparkling in the rays of sunlight streaming through his closed blinds. Jisung sighed softly before getting up and redressing himself, his legs shaking slightly as he made his way out of Chan's house and back to his. His body collapsed on his bed but he only got to enjoy it for a mere second before his parents walked into the room. "Jisung get dressed, we're having company over and we need you on your best behavior." Jisung groaned before getting up and walking to his closet, his hands grabbing a suit that was hanging up waiting to be wore again. He trudged his way to his bathroom, the water hitting his skin as he stood in his shower before his mom started to bang on his door for him to get ready. He eventually made his way down the stairs only to freeze in his tracks. The company his parents were talking about were none other than the family of his ex-boyfriend. The _Hwangs._

"Oh..hey. Mr and Mrs Hwang." He smiled nervously only to tense up as Hyunjin stepped into the house with a slight frown as their eyes met. "Hyunjin.." His voice trailed before smiling brightly, his nerves skyrocketing but he had to keep this act up. Their fight can't be public to their parents, they can't know the details. The day dragged on longer than anyone would have wanted it, the tension between the two boys obvious but they stayed on their best behavior. That is, until the lunch.

The two sat next to each other as their parents each sat by their significant others. Jisung's mom being the one to break the ice between the two. "So..Hyunjin. We heard you and Jisung got in a little fight and broke up..? Why's that?" Hyunjin chuckled softly before saying the next sentence so bluntly. "He smokes weed." Jisung's mouth dropped, his head filled with panic as he stared at his parents afraid of how'd they react. His mother was caught of guard, her napkin pressed to her lips as she tried to hide her shock. Jisung cleared his throat before getting up from the table. "It was a pleasure meeting with you again." He left the room, his hand running through his hair anxiously. He was dead. He was sure of it. He went to his room as he paced the floor, his body tensing as his father was standing in his door frame. "Explain." Jisung tried to muster up as much courage as he could as he stared back his father nervously.

"It helps with my anxiety and..and it helps me sleep. He was just sick of it but I swear I only use it for medical purposes!" He swallowed hard as he nibbled his lip praying his father would believe anything he just said. The older man grumbled before roughly ruffling his son's hair. "Next time tell us kid, so we don't have to be utterly embarrassed in front of company. You should tell your boyfriend the full story. What you told me." He began to walk out before Jisung desperately grabbed his arm. "I- I tried! He won't believe me, that's why he broke up with me." His eyes searching for any emotion on his father's serious face. "Jisung, we didn't raise you to quit after one try. Help him understand. I won't say anything else about it. I'm letting you stay under my roof, don't let the press figure this out. They'll bend the truth and ruin the reputations of us all." With that said he turned and walked out of the room, leaving Jisung standing in his room with a waterfall of tears threatening to fall down his cheeks in any moment.

The day slowly came to an end, Jisung laying on his bed with all sorts of anxiety bubbling up in his stomach. Why would Hyunjin just outwardly say such a thing? Did their relationship mean nothing to him? They've never compromised each other's trust and outed each other's secrets to their parents like that before. His body curled up into a ball as he pulled his legs to his chest, how could he possibly sleep tonight? He didn't dare smoke after having his parents freshly figuring it out. He bit his nails nervously before letting himself drift off to sleep, his body full of dread as he tossed and turned. No one there to hold him and keep him safe of the never ending nightmares awaiting him. 

He awoke to the loud chirping of his alarm, his face wet with sweat as he sat up with heavy breaths. He wiped his forehead as he tried to catch his breath, his swallows hard before getting up and slumping into the shower. He was planning on going to work but his mind flashed to Chan. How at ease he was with the other, how easily he gave up his body for just a tad of drugs. He wiped his face before looking in the mirror. His reflection staring back with dark circles under his eyes from waking up every so often through the night. He looked like a complete wreck, his hand quickly going to his makeup and covered his skin. His smile grew as he got carried away a bit, his eyes lightly colored with eye shadow along with his lips shined with a light lip gloss. His cheeks rosy with blush as he made his way out of his house, he had no plan of going to work that day or really any day on from then. He was going to give what he had best, his body was the gateway to his stash. The extra money he had collected was now to be spent on himself, to make him feel more comfortable in his body. 

He walked into the club with a soft hum, this was now his routine. Get all dolled up then exchange his body for the drugs he needed to survive at this point. He did this instead of going to work everyday, his body waking up in numerous beds only to walk out with drugs in hand, it was becoming way too easy to do at this point but shockingly it didn't scare him. He now sat in a chair in the local piercing and tattoo shop, his tongue newly pierced as he now sat watching his arm being drawn on. His newly found money being spent on his appearance even though he knew his mother would have a heart attack. "Now keep this covered and make sure you clean both of these daily. Your piercing twice daily. Jisung nodded before walking home with a big grin, his new appearance giving him such a large load of confidence. 

He walked into he house with a hum before stopping to have his mother's eyes go straight to his arm. The ink surprising her as she tried to figure out where he could have gotten the money to get it since she had just had a meeting with Jisung's boss awhile ago claiming he wasn't going to work. He smiled at her sweetly before she had taken his wrist. "Where did this come from young man?" Jisung hummed in response before smiling innocently. "Bought myself a tattoo after work today. Got paid and wanted to treat myself." His mom raised her eyebrow before dragging his body to his father's study with a soft hum. His eyes glancing up from the papers in his hand. Jisung nervously swallowed the saliva in his mouth with a small smile. "It's not that big of a deal..it's just a tattoo of simple vines and flowers." He run his free hand into his hair with a soft sigh before watching for his father's response.

"Where did you get the money for this Jisung?" Jisung answered easily with a smile. "Work. Got paid today." His dad scoffed before putting his papers down on his desk. "Is that so? I have been hearing that you haven't been showing up lately." Jisung raised his eyebrow as he tried to keep his cool even though his body was filling to the brim with anxiety. "That's weird..I've..I've definitely have been going every day. You watch me leave the house." He smiled nervously before leaving the room biting his nails, his eyebrows furrowed as he tried to think of excuses for this one. He could always sleep with his boss to make him shut up right? He may even be able to snag a promotion if he's convincing enough. He sighed before sitting in his room as he tried to figure it out, his thoughts only being interrupted as his parents voices could be heard as they screamed at each other. his body moving so he could hear them better, his ears picking up muffled sounds.

"I can't handle this! He's gotten out of hand and he's stepping out of bounds. He's going to ruin my career!" His fathers voice booming through the house, Jisung leaning against the wall with a soft sigh escaping his lips. It was always about his career, never about what his _own son_ and what _he_ felt and needed. "Oh and it's any better for me!? That's my son too! He's not only ruining your image! I won't have this anymore! He stays with you and stays safe and on the down low or he heads to rehab and we both lose!" Jisung's head hurt as he listened to them yell back and forth. He was nothing but a burden that they had to toss around to keep their good reputation up. He sighed heavily before grabbing a backpack and shoving some of his things into it, his legs hanging from his window before he ended up jumping out and walking from his house with a frown. If he was such a burden to them he would just be doing them a favor at this point.

With his bag on his back and his eyebrows furrowed, he basically ran away from his home. There was no way he was going through rehab and there was no way he'd let his father "Take care" of him instead. He could take care of himself, he didn't need them and he didn't need Hyunjin. He only needed himself and a few dosages of drugs to let him sleep soundly. That was all he needed and no one could have changed his mind. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jisung is going through it

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay i wrote smut for the first time in a long time so pls dont make fun of me if it's bad

In all reality, there was no way Jisung could take care of himself in this state. He did have an addiction even when he kept denying it and now his only income was coming from his body. He ran away from his stable life, granted he hated every second of it but it gave him something sturdy to lean back against. Maybe he shouldn’t have ran away from his parents. Hyunjin was right, he was barely 17 and there was no way to call himself a grown man. Jisung scuffed his shoes along the sidewalk as he shoved his hands in his pockets with a frown tugging at his lips. Hyunjin  _ was  _ right. Of course he was, he was the mature one in their relationship. He was Jisung’s main support and he blew it. He hated to think about Hyunjin in this position but he couldn’t help but yearn for the stability the boy gave him. Would Hyunjin ever take him back? Probably not, he was so mad where they left off. 

Jisung found himself standing in the middle of a crosswalk, the night air prickling at his cheeks as his body tried to warm itself up with the outfit he had been wearing. He kept scolding himself mentaly for not thinking about grabbing a bigger coat or at least a scarf. He probably would have froze to death if the car driving towards him came to a hault and a woman stepped out. Her face painted with worry as she quickly drapped a coat over Jisung’s shoulders. “Why is someone your age out here alone at this time of night?” Her voice was laced with the same worry that was evident on her face. Her outfit looked formal as if she worked in some sort of office job but her car had told a different story. It looked luxurious as if it came straight from Jisung’s own garage. The woman was rubbing Jisung’s arms at the point that all of his emotions spewed out. He couldn’t help it, he was just an overwhelmed kid that ran away. The tears dampened his cheeks as he tried to dry them but the new tears would just reverse his progress.

“I- I ran away. My parents see me as an object that just ends up being a burden. I c-can’t go back there.” His voice hiccupped as he tried to stop himself from sobbing long enough so she could understand him. Her face softened as she took a deep breath. “Oh sweetie..how old are you? You look so so young.” Jisung answered softly as he took deep breaths. “I’m 16..” His answer shocked the woman entirely, he looked at least 18. Jisung could feel her stares before he looked up to meet her gaze. “I know that sounds bad but you  _ have  _ to believe me. I  _ can’t  _ go back home. I just can’t..” His voice wandered as he pulled the jacket she had given to him closer to his chest. She sighed softly before offering her hand to the younger. “Here’s what I can do, legally that is. I can get you a room at a hotel where I can monitor you and make sure you’re safe and well. Then I’m going to have to put you in some sort of foster care, if you can’t go back home that is the only option.”

Jisung’s heart sank, he was terrified of the idea. Foster care could mean he would be just assigned to another family that may not even understand him at all. He swallowed hard as he looked behind him, realistically speaking..could he run away from this woman too? He blinked away some of the tears that threatened to keep spilling out as he looked back at her. “I know it doesn’t sound ideal but running away will only get you in more trouble. I’m doing you a favor..you’re just a kid.” Jisung nodded slowly as he gave in, there was no way he could take care of himself if he keeps this up. So he had to surrender. He got into the car as they drove to the nearest hotel and booked two rooms next to each other. The woman stared at him obviously still worried about him. “Kid, what’s your name?” Jisung looked over at her before nibbling at his lip, if he said his full name would she return him to his parents right away knowing how successful they were? He was too scared to find out, so he lied. “Hwang Jisung.” It felt wrong. Using Hyunjin’s last name so easily, it hurt him more than he thought it would. The two swore that they’d get married one day. Funny how that worked out.

The woman hummed before going to ruffle his hair gently. “Get some sleep, Jisung. Do us both a favor and don’t run away from this place.” That was it, she went into her room and he went into his, his fingers gripping his backpack straps before quickly going to the window and opening it. He pulled his bong out of his bag and set all sorts of bags on the sil, his eyes gazing over each one trying to decide what he should put in his body to let him sleep for the night. He stared long and hard at his weed, he knew he wouldn’t be able to hide it very well from the woman unless he really showered the next morning. He shoved the other baggies in his bag as his fingers pulled his shirt off and stuffed it in his bag too. He sighed as he fell into the routine of filling his bong and sliding his thumb against the lighter, his mouth inhaling the smoke as he closed his eyes. His legs swinging out the window as he sat on the ledge, his mouth blowing out the smoke as his head recognized the high quickly. He exhaled deeply before finishing what he had left, his eyes tinted red as he put all his things away and grabbed a few snacks before curling up in his bed.

His eyes closed slowly as he finally was put into a deep sleep, dreams not being able to creep up on him. His high fighting off any nightmare that was waiting for his eyes to close. No matter what Hyunjin had said, this  _ was  _ helping him. It was helping his mental stability but maybe at the same time, maybe he was right and it was also tearing Jisung down. His mind shut down before he could really think much more about it, his body screamed for sleep and that’s what it’ll get. He woke up the next day groggily, he rolled over to the sound of a knock on his door. His lips parted slightly as a groan slipped out, the woman’s voice faint behind the door. “Jisung, I’m heading to breakfast would you like to join me?” He thought about it for a bit before getting out of bed and putting on a new shirt before walking out of his room, he was starving and there was no way he’d deny food at this point.

They walked down to the breakfast bar, Jisung piling food onto his plate before sitting down across from the woman hoping she didn’t pick up the faint scent of weed from him. Thankfully she didn’t say anything about it, though she did comment on his appetite. “Do your parents not feed you Jisung? You act like you haven’t eaten in ages..” Her voice was filled with worry again as he shoveled food into his mouth, his cheeks puffing out as he thought about a good answer. Obviously, telling her that he was just hungry from getting high the night before was not the best choice, so he just shrugged in response. She hummed as she watched him eat, her plate long empty before his. “Shower up then knock on my door when your ready. I talked to some people and they’ll be able to fit you into a foster care. If you’re worried about your parents finding you, I can assure you it’s nowhere near here. Based on how you act, your parents aren’t that loving anyways. 

Jisung nodded before finishing up and going back to his room, his hand going into his bag as he grabbed solution to clean his piercing. His face flinching as it stung for a moment as he played with it in the mirror. He tugged his clothes off as he walked into the shower, the water spraying down his back as he stood still. His eyes glued to the floor as the water slowly dripped down onto his face from his hair. He ran his fingers through the strands making sure to get rid of any residue of his smoke. Once he was sure he smelt fine he got out and dried himself before dressing and packing up his things back into his bag. 

He now sat in the large office of the foster care, the woman explaining his situation to the couple running the place. The instantly took pity and before he knew it, he was given a room that he’d share with two other boys around his age. He said his goodbyes to the woman and watched her leave him in foster care. At first he wished she didn’t dump him here but his body quickly adjusted and even found a friend. He wasn’t entirely sure how he got to this point but after a few months of living in this building he’s managed to meet and befriend Felix. His new drug dealer, which was nice since he wasn’t asking much from Jisung in return for what he was giving. In fact, the only thing he really had to give back to him was attention. And that was how he ended up where he was now, his lips locked with the other’s as he was pressed down onto his bed. Felix’s leg in between Jisung’s as the other was bent next to his waist.

Jisung’s fingers were tangled into Felix’s hair, it wasn’t the first time the two were in this situation but this time felt wrong. Jisung pulled apart from the other, his head turning to the side as Felix moved to kiss his neck instead. “Felix can we not do this tonight..” He barely squeaked it out as the other male hummed in response. He moved to sit beside him, his fingers running along Jisung’s cheeks with a tilt to his head. “What’s wrong buttercup?” Jisung didn’t know really, his body just didn’t want it at the moment but he didn’t want to hurt Felix’s feelings. “I dunno..I just need something in my system first I guess.” Felix’s eyes sparkled before his lips planted a quick kiss on his cheek. “I know exactly what you need.” He hopped up from the bed, his hands rummaging through the chest they were each given for belongings. “You, my love, need some of this.” Jisung sat up from his spot to catch a glimpse of what Felix had in his hand.

“What is that?” Jisung perked his eyebrow up with a skeptical look. Felix chuckled softly before sitting down on the floor by his bedside table, his legs under his body as he placed a straw onto the table and then poured a little pile of the baggie’s contents. “Coke.” His voice was so blunt as he moved it around to form a line before twirling the straw in his fingers. Jisung’s eyes widened for a bit before he leaned closer to the other boy with an interest. With all the time he’s spent with Felix he has never actually tried the harder things Felix sold behind the backs of the people who worked here. Felix smiled before ran the straw along the line as he inhaled through his nose, his eyes fluttering back as his lips formed a content smile. “Here buttercup, you try.” He made another line then handed Jisung the straw. 

Jisung wasn’t sure at first but he did it anyways, his body now sat on Felix’s lap as the boy gripped his hips to steady him. “Just take a deep and sharp inhale baby.” Felix’s voice was calming as he rubbed his waist gently with his thumbs. Jisung did just as Felix said, his body shaking slightly as he laid back against the other. His hand rubbing his nose as he curled up along Felix. “It takes a bit to kick in but you’ll know when it does.” Jisung nodded at Felix’s words, their lips ended up pressed against each others again as Felix’s hands ran along his body. It took a bit but the high registered in their minds, Jisung practically moaning as it hit. It was a whole different level of euphoric pleasure. Felix seemed to get a laugh out of the reaction as he made a few more lines for the two. “Here babe, you go first.” 

They ended up taking quite a bit in but Jisung wasn’t even complaining, the feeling that came with it was amazing. He felt so  _ happy.  _ He was full of energy as he stared up and down at Felix as he was finishing his last line. Felix felt the stares, his eyes moving to Jisung before laughing softly. “Instead of mentally undressing me, why don’t I just do it myself?” Jisung blinked before smiling shyly, Felix could read him so easily. His eyes watched as Felix pulled his shirt over his head, then moved to his jeans. His eyes glued to Jisung’s with a smirk. He gazed at the familiar doe eyes now with dilated pupils. “Alright buttercup, your turn.” Jisung quickly followed suit and they ended up back on the bed, jisung’s back pressed against the mattress as Felix sat on his lap with a smile. “You’re beautiful.” 

Jisung’s breath hitched as Felix’s finger ran along his rim, his head leaning back with any touch Felix gave him sending him into such a euphoric state of mind. Felix squirted some lube on his fingers then along Jisung’s entrance with a soft hum watching all the reactions he was getting from Jisung. He leaned down to kiss Jisung as he slid his finger in smoothly, it definitely wasn’t their first time and even though Felix knew in the back of his head that he already had two lovers to himself he still yearned for Jisung for some reason. He slipped another finger in, then a third as Jisung moaned against his lips trying his best to stay quiet. The other male they shared a room with was fast asleep, though it’s not like he hadn't known about the two hooking up. He’s caught them making out before and now you could say he’s used to it. Though, they’ve never had sex while he was in the room and that fact had obviously hit Jisung like a truck.

Felix shushed him with kisses as he chuckled softly, he could care less if the guy woke up and caught them but for his poor little Jisung’s sake he’ll be on his best behavior. He peppered kisses down his neck before pulling his fingers out earning a whine from the quivering boy under him. “You sure you still want this buttercup? You stopped us earlier.” His voice was soft and caring as he gazed down at Jisung. “Yes I- I’ve never been so sure of something in my life.” Felix chuckled before rolling his hips, his dick filling up Jisung in an instant as he tried his best to keep is slow. There was no way he’d let Jisung get caught in this position on his watch. Jisung’s eyelashes fluttered as he gripped Felix’s shoulders tightly, it had been awhile since they actually had sex. Felix was content with kissing recently which was understandable, he had his own boyfriend and Jisung knew he was usually just a fling but he couldn’t help but think they had some sort of feelings for each other. 

“Sungie, relax a bit buttercup. He’s practically dead, gotta loosen up okay?” Jisung nodded as he took a deep breath before smiling sweetly as Felix was able to bottom out fully with a soft groan. “Lix, you’re pretty..you make me so good.” His words babble as Felix hummed in response. “You make me feel good too baby.” He voice soft as he connected their lips together softly. His hand lifting up Jisung’s leg as his hips snap against Jisung earning a whine along his lips, the boy squirming under him with red hot cheeks. His thrusts became a constant pace as he leaned back up to get a better angle, leaving Jisung to his own devices without Felix’s lips to cover up his moans. One hard thrust made the poor boy cry out, Jisung’s eyes rolling back into his head as his hand shakily covered his mouth. “Mmf..sorry Lix.” Felix chuckled in response as he ran his fingers along Jisung’s thigh with a smile. “You’re all good baby.”

Felix’s speed increased as he watched every expression Jisung gave him, his fingers pressed against his lips as he tried to keep his moans to just the two of them. He kept going watching Jisung completely bliss out as he gripped Felix’s arms, his fingernails digging into his skin. “Lix- I..” Felix hummed as his mouth curled into a smirk, he didn’t lighten up. He pulled out causing a whine from the other only to have it be replaced with a loud moan that could be heard by just about everyone. Felix hummed innocently as he resumed his position as he watched Jisung go straight over the edge as his stomach gets coated with his own cum. Felix pushed in harder before releasing himself, his eyes fluttering as his high slowly drained from his body. “Fuck Jisung..” He pulled out slowly as he stared down at the panting boy under him before glancing over at the other male, still deep in sleep. 

“Look babe, he’s dead.” He pulled Jisung up, his hand rubbing along Jisung’s arms to calm him down from his high. Jisung giggled softly at the comment, his body leaning against Felix with a soft content sigh. “I love having you around Lix..” His voice soft as he closed his eyes for a moment. “Ah ah ah, don’t fall asleep Sungie. Let’s get you washed up first.” He grabbed his robe as he wrapped it around Jisung’s body before dressing himself. He guided the other to the bathroom before kissing his forehead lovingly. “Take a nice hot shower buttercup, I’ll take one after you. Don’t worry about using all the hot water either, I’m okay with a cold one.” Jisung nodded before hopping into the shower, his eyes drooping as he stood in the warm water. He lazily cleaned his body and moved to wash his hair with a soft sigh, what was he doing? What was he to Felix? He knew that the boy had a boyfriend who’d pick him up every once and awhile and sometimes even sleep over. He was the total opposite of Jisung really, in fact the man even made Felix be in the position that Jisung was just in. He hummed as he tried to ignore it, relationships weren’t really his thing anyways since Hyunjin. He was content with being a fling.

He got out of the shower and made his way to his own bed, his body being so worn out that he didn’t need to take his normal “smoke break” to get some rest. When he woke up though, that’s when his life changed drastically. He woke up to the couple who ran this place smiling down at him. “Good news Jisung! There’s a family who wants to add you to their family! They’ll be coming to meet with you this afternoon, please look presentable. Be ready by one okay darling?” He nodded as he sat up from his bed, his body stretching with soft whines. He looked around the room he was so used to, he was so used to calling it home. He brushed his hair as he pulled pants on and borrowed one of Felix’s dress shirts that he was almost positive that it was stolen. 

He sat in the meeting room, his fingers tapping his thigh nervously as they walked in with smiling faces. They looked nice enough. They introduced themselves and their daughter. They got along well and at the end of the meeting they had loved Jisung, though he wasn’t sure why. He didn’t act differently than he did with his original parents but they seemed to hate his guts whereas this couple didn’t. “Jisung, if you’d accept. You could go move in with them as soon as tomorrow.” He swallowed hard at the thought of leaving Felix behind but he desperately wanted a new beginning so he agreed. “Alright.” He smiled shyly at the couple as they hugged each other with tears in their eyes. He watched them leave after signing countless papers, he waved goodbye before retreating straight to Felix. His body easily made its way into the other’s bed with a soft coo. “Lixie.”

Felix groaned before his eyes opened slowly with a smile, “Hey babe, what’s up?” He immediately went to run his fingers through Jisung’s hair as their lips gently met. “I think I just got adopted.” Felix’s face went from content to surprise quickly as he propped his body up with a big grin. “Well look at you hotshot, I lost our bet about who’s getting out of here first huh? Alright name your price.” Jisung hummed before smirking, his mind going to one thing in particular. “Coke please. I want a stash, but also not too much that I won’t need to see you again. I don’t want this to be our goodbye you know?” Felix smiled before cupping Jisung’s cheeks and bringing his face to his in a rough kiss. “God you are the cutest! Hyunjin is an absolute dick to drop you like that.” Jisung smiled before shaking his head at the comment. “He’s not like you Lix, he’s clean of anything you could imagine.” Felix’s body was now perched by his chest as he grabbed a few baggies, listening to Jisung speak about his ex. “So he’s a prune.” Jisung snorted softly before shaking his head. “No, well..kinda. We only had sex a few times.” Felix chuckled before placing a few bags in the boys hands. “Don’t forget about me Sungie.”

“Never!” Jisung smiled before planting several kisses against Felix’s lips. Their last day together flashed before their eyes, before Jisung knew it he was standing outside of the building he called home and staring at the car that occupied his new family. He put his bags in the back before sitting in the back by the daughter. “I’m Jisung..if you didn’t know.” She smiled as she offered her hand politely. “Wendy.” They got along pretty well and Jisung had spent a good year at that home, his birthday seemly like the biggest thing this family had ever celebrated but it was kinda nice. It was nice to have his parents actually remember his birthday. But all good things have to come to an end..eventually.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> here's to minsung nation

It should have been like any other normal day for Jisung. He would wake up, take a shower, eat breakfast and make his way to work then come home, smoke some weed first then go straight to his room and sleep. Though something ruined his whole routine, something drastic. Something only the _Hans_ would do. His head was propped up by his hand as he ate his breakfast with his little sister, the girl blabbing about some boy she liked or something as Jisung just sat with her and pretended to listen. His attention was more on the television playing in the background, the screen showing some sort of news on a missing kid. His jaw dropped once he noticed the photograph that flashed onto the screen. That was _him_. He left the table to be able to hear better as he stood in front of the tv, he couldn’t believe it. He couldn’t believe his own parents! They stood in front of several photographers and interviewers with fake sad expressions. “Our little Hannie..he’s ran away and..” Jisung perched his eyebrow up as he waited for his mother to continue her sentence, though he never imagined it would end like it did. “We’ve found his dead body yesterday..” His jaw fell, if it could it would fall right to the ground and hang by his shoes.

He quickly shut the tv off with a scoff, they’re telling people he’s dead? He can’t imagine how well that would go if he showed up at their house. That would be a major scandal, probably bigger than the one that would have existed if they just outwardly told the press he did drugs. Wendy made her way to his side with a soft sigh. “ _As I was saying_ before you so rudely _walked away_!” Jisung shook his head as he grabbed his backpack and ran out the door, his face burning with rage. He found his way to his old doorstep and bursting into his house. “Oh fuck you both!” His voice ran through the halls as the empty house stayed silent. He ran around the rooms trying to find his parents who just went and killed him off. When he didn’t find them he decided to wait with his arms crossed over his chest and waited for them to walk into their house. Sure enough, the couple walked into the house with soft sniffles before closing the door with sighs of relief. Though their content mood was short lived.

“Funny story, didn’t know I was dead. I’ve seen better acting from you guys, very disappointing show really.” Jisung’s lips curled into a smirk as his parents swallowed their shock to see their son standing right in front of them after a year or so after disappearing. “Not going to look good on you when I get recognized on the street will it? Or are you going to make me change my name to act along with you?” His voice was harsh as he cut through the air, his eyes narrowed as they sparked with anger. “Jisung I-” His mother started by he cut her off quickly. “No fuck you! You ruined my life! How am I supposed to get jobs or even live with my fucking name being out there being classified as a dead person!” He gripped his hair with a growl, his parents took deep breaths before trying to calm down their son.

“Jisung..you ran away and didn’t show up for a year, it’s almost been two years now sweetie. It was looking bad so we did what we had to. We had to tell people that you had died so we didn’t look bad as parents.” Jisung only fumed further, his anger rising as he practically ripped his hair out. “You’re doing this all for _your_ reputation! Everything I’ve done in my life was for _you guys_ and _your_ reputation! Nothing you guys do is for my own good! You deserve to be known for being shit parents!” He seethed as he choked up his words, his voice only cutting off when he heard a car door closing in the background, his parents eyes shooting towards the camera pointing to the gates of their house showing the cars of the Hwang’s sitting by the gates. Jisung’s mother pushed him into a closet before getting ready to meet up with the couple and their son.

* * *

Hyunjin POV kinda

Hyunjin choked back his tears as he walked up the stairs to his ex boyfriend’s house. His ex boyfriend who was now dead. He sighed as they walked to the door, he wanted to turn back. He didn’t want to walk into the house or look around where the two had spent their time together before they moved in together in their apartment. His mother rubbed his shoulder before knocking on the door and meeting with the Han’s. Hyunjin could help it, he burst into tears as he saw the look on Jisung’s parents' faces. “He’s really gone?” His voice strained as he struggled to keep calm. “Can I go into his room?” Jisung’s parents nodded as they continued to speak with his own as he went up the stairs. His room was left almost untouched, as if he hadn’t been in it for years. He sat on his bed before ending up laying his head down on the pillow and soaking the fabric with his tears. His hands gripped the blanket, his nose picking up the faint scent of Jisung that was left. He can’t be dead, he just _can’t_ be. He has to be alive, he just has to be. His mind muddled with thoughts as he sobbed quietly.

He didn’t kill himself did he? He was always expressing how much he hated living with his parents and how much they never cared about how he felt. Maybe he felt as if they’d care if he was dead, so he ran away and killed himself? Would he really do that? Hyunjin didn’t want to believe it but what could have possibly happened? Was Jisung that unhappy with himself? Was Hyunjin breaking up with him the last straw? Should Hyunjin tried harder to understand Jisung and keep him stable? Was this all his fault? His mind went to a complete halt. Of course, of _course._ It all made sense, this was his fault. It had to be. Hyunjin was his main support system and he blew it off just because he hated the fact that he smoked weed. He was the reason Jisung felt so alone and felt the need to kill himself off wasn’t he? His stomach fell to the ground as he thought about it more. Of course, it all fit together.

He walked back down the stairs after he calmed himself down a bit, his body moving to sit by his parents on the couch. “I wish I was a better boyfriend, in the end this was probably my fault. And no, there’s no need to tell me otherwise. It all fits together and I wish I was more supportive as his partner in the end.” He shifted in his seat before sighing deeply. “I just wish he was more reliant on me than his drugs. I know you guys know it was for his medical purposes but when we slept together he didn’t need to smoke. I knew I could be an alternative but he never used me as much as he used his drugs. I guess I should have pushed him more, instead of pushing him away I should have pushed him towards the better alternatives that he had at his fingertips. I was so oblivious to how this was hurting him and I even kicked him out without saying anything to him. I exposed him out of malice and that was the last encounter we had..” His voice cut off as he was obviously about to cry again. “I never got to tell him I loved him again, I miss him so much. I hate living alone in our apartment, I hate sleeping alone knowing he’s probably having some shitty nights sleep or horrid nightmares. I helped him through so much and now he’s gone and it’s probably my fault.” 

Jisung stood in the closet with tears in his eyes, Hyunjin still loved him? To this day? He hated being alone just as much as Jisung did? He tried his best to keep his cries soft as he was supposed to be _dead._ Eventually Hyunjin ended up leaving and Jisung left his spot with red eyes. He sniffled before retreating back to his house, his new house. The house who didn’t have his own parents under the same roof as him. Though this event had changed the way he thought about his new family, they weren’t his. Did they truly care about him? How much could he get away with them? He started small, swiping things from stores like you would do as a kid but then got bigger. His behavior plummeted quickly and it was becoming a problem for his new family.

The event that landed him back into the foster care building was his huge cell phone fraud. He had a broken phone and still had the phone case of his new phone, but instead of getting rid of the box he decided to try and get some money off of it. He had found a rock that felt like a decent size and weight then placed it into the box and wrapped it in saran wrap and made it fit the box with the heat of his mother’s hair dryer. It looked and felt very convincing so he ended up standing in a pawn shop with an innocent smile on his face, he was going to get money for this and be able to buy a stash for himself for the week. He put the box on the counter with a hum before speaking up. “New phone but I already bought one myself so the parents said I could sell it if I’d like. It’s never been opened before.” The guy nodded as he looked at the box carefully before giving a decent wad of cash to the Jisung. He walked out counting the money with a smirk, that was all too easy to pull off. He went to go buy from someone he knew when he got caught by the store owner and the cops. He was sent to the office and his parents picked him up later with disappointed looks. It was the last straw and now he was plopped right back where he started.

He quickly ran to his shared room with Felix only to have his side of the room be empty. His heart sank as he turned to the couple running the building. “He was picked up by that short man that would always visit him, we had thought he’d tell you but I guess you two lost touch..sorry sweetie. This room is pretty much all yours, the other guy moved out after several complaints about how annoying Felix was.” Jisung nodded with a small smile before slumping down onto his bed with a loud sigh, this was going to suck.

He managed to get adopted again but just ended up getting in trouble again after he got caught stealing and selling their property. He was back to foster care, back to his room without Felix and back to his horrible and uneventful life. He was tossed around to house to house but only ended up getting in endless amounts of trouble. He was one his last house the foster care could have set him up with before giving up and sending him to an orphanage for troubled kids, and once he was in there, there was little hope of him getting out. He stood in his new house with a straight face, his hair now dyed dark blue and his nose now having a septum piercing. His other arm now covered in tattoos. One arm covered in vines and the other filled with thorns and dead vines. His eyes dull as he stared at his new room. He honestly would rather live on his own, he could live off his body and he knew that. He could get a job if he needed to and have more money to cushion himself and buy his drugs on the side. That would actually be pretty easy. He decided to go for it, he was too young to get away with it on his own so he had to cause trouble. So he caused trouble.

He stole and sold their things for ungodly prices and got away with it for the most part, until he went back to a pawn shop. They are always easy to fool and make a huge fraud. And it worked, he was now pinned against a cop car, his record showing every fraud he had done in the town. He hummed as he watched people walk past and stare at him with pity in their eyes. A child being in so much trouble, they must have been wondering how bad his childhood was. He sighed as his wrists were brought together in handcuffs and his head was being pushed down to go into the back of the car.

* * *

Minho’s POV ;)

It was a normal day, he just got off of work and he was about to head home when he saw the cop car’s lights. It wasn’t that odd to have crime in the area but what had caught his eye was the person they had pinned against the car. He looked so young and..cute in a way. He looked dark and mysterious but _damn_ he was attractive. Minho felt obligated to help him for some reason, maybe it was because he looked so lost as his hands were bound together. Or maybe it was his doe eyes and puffy cheeks that made Minho drawn to him. Before he knew it he was running towards the care with a frantic look.

“Officers! Please you have to come quick! There’s a fire down the street! I don’t have my phone you’re the only one I can call!” He frantically ran his hand through his hair as the officers looked at each other before running to the alleged on fire area. One officer in the car but he seemed half asleep and didn’t even notice Minho’s act drop as he knelt by the car and taking the male’s arms. “Don’t say a word.” His voice was hushed as he grabbed a bobby pin from his jeans pocket and picked at the handcuffs that restricted the boy’s wrists. “Shoo, you look way too young to be taken away by these buffoons. You couldn’t have done much damage so go. Don’t say a word. Make yourself scarce.” He pushed the boys body before making himself scarce since he technically did a little crime of his own, not only let a guy go from the cops but also gave a false alarm to the authorities. He ran back into his dance studio with a long sigh, whoever that kid was. Minho hopes he doesn’t keep finding himself in too much trouble.

* * *

Jisung was astonished that he was able to get out of such a situation, he snuck into his house as he packed his bags and then headed out on his own. All he had was a small backpack of his clothes and cash to hopefully feed himself as he lived on his own. He was sick of living with people who didn’t care about him or didn’t even bother learning about the true him. He couldn’t quite afford a hotel to live in so he decided to stay in a little cafe that hired him. He insisted on taking the closing shifts so he could get away with sleeping and then waking up before the openers would come in. He did that for a good month and never once got caught, he didn’t mind it all that much and in all honesty the attention he was getting from the customers was one of the reasons he stayed for so long. He would have stayed there and kept doing what he was doing if the guy who helped him out earlier didn’t catch on to what he was actually doing. He had noticed that the man went to the cafe he worked at but he never came when he was on his shift thankfully, he wouldn’t know what to say if he had to take his order. 

He was about to close up and brush his teeth in the bathroom when a customer came in last minute, and ironically it was that same man. He came out of the bathroom with a shocked look, he had thought he locked the door but to his surprise he hadn’t yet. He was in his pajamas and very obviously not in the uniform for the cafe. “Oh we’re closed..” His voice was soft as he tried his best to look presentable as he stared at the man who had saved him from the authorities. The man quirked his eyebrow before leaning against the counter with a hum. “I can tell though, I have a few questions on this uniform of yours.” Jisung gulped as he tried his best to think of an explanation but there wasn’t even a house upstairs for the owners like mosts cafes so he was utterly screwed.

“I sleep here from time to time, when I’m fighting with my parents.” He tried to sound as confident as he could but the man seemed to see right through him. “Do you fight with them everyday? Cuz I feel like I never see you leave this place. I notice more things than you think I do, like I’ve _never_ seen you leave. You can’t possibly work that much kid, so something tells me you got in trouble and they kicked you out and now you’re trying to keep it on the down low since I saved your ass and you don’t want to be thrown in jail since you have no one to come pick you up..right?” Jisung blinked in surprise, man this guy is either a stalker or really good at reading into people. Or maybe both. He shrugged it off before nodding slowly, the man sighing as he looked around the cafe. “This place is garbage, it may be weird but would you like to spend the night at my house instead?” 

Jisung thought about it, this man _was_ pretty cute, and even if he just wanted him for his body would Jisung really mind it much? He smiled as he nodded shyly, “Yeah..okay. I wouldn’t want to be a bother though or anything! Like I don’t have anywhere to go and..I just don’t know what to say.” The other shook his head with a smile before offering his hand. “I’m Minho by the way, and you won’t be a bother don’t worry. You can stay as long as you’d like, to be honest I kinda felt some sort of connection when I saved you from the cops.” Jisung’s cheeks burnt slightly as he smiled shyly before introducing himself. “Jisung..my name is Jisung.” He gathered his things before locking the store up and walking out with Minho beside him. Maybe something good could come out of this Minho character. He was so openly allowing Jisung to come into his house after obviously doing some sort of crime. For all Minho knew he could have been a murderer or something but he decided to trust him for some reason.

Jisung looked around Minho’s house with a soft hum, it was a cozy little house with the looks of it having two rooms and a shared bathroom between them. When they walked in the dining room and kitchen were on the left and to the right was the living room. He was led to his bedroom and Minho left him at that after telling him where everything was. He stood in the room nervously, this was kinda weird. He didn’t know this guy and yet he let him into his house so easily. He wanted to walk out and go back to his cozy cafe but he just stayed put scared to run into the cops without Minho. He set his backpack down and slowly got into the bed, it was obviously not used much but it was still rather well kept and cozy. It wasn’t bad at all for a random stranger giving it to him for however long he needed. He didn’t know how long he needed it for and it scared him, he didn’t want to lean against someone for support again. Not after Hyunjin broke up with him, Felix leaving without anything said to him and now with his parents killing him off. He didn’t want to trust anyone at this point.

He just wanted to be on his own but Minho seemed very determined to let Jisung live with him for as long as he needed to. And as long as he needed to turned into him fully moving into the man’s house and they soon became very close friends but Minho didn’t know much about Jisung’s past and he was determined to keep it that way. There was no way Jisung was going to let this relationship go to waste, he needed to keep at least one friendship in his life. He _needed_ it to be happy. And that is how their life started together, Minho being the support system for Jisung without he even knowing and Jisung being a person Minho can always talk to when he got lonely. They were supporting each other without the other even knowing. Perhaps it was the start of another relationship of toxicity but Jisung had told himself through the whole experience, he will _never_ fall in love with Lee Minho. 


	4. Chapter 4.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the one where minsung is all fluffy and seungmin is just a mess but we love him

Minho stared at Jisung as the boy sat on his couch quietly, he looked nervous to be in a new place. Jisung was nervous, he was on edge and he desperately wanted to get high but he stayed put. He felt Minho’s gaze on him but he never looked up to meet his eyes. He was scared he’d break down in tears if he did, so he just sat there. His nose inhaling a long breath before Minho broke the silence. “How often do you get in trouble? I don’t want you to think I’m stalking you but I’ve noticed you work at that cafe but like...never leave it until the morning when it opens. I usually go there right when it opens since I work so early. So tell me, what kind of trouble are you in?”

Jisung swallowed slowly as he tried to think of the best answer, he shouldn’t bring up his drugs should he? Would Minho be so eager to help him if he knew he was addicted to something so bad? He couldn’t handle another Hyunjin case, in fact he didn’t know if she even let Minho help him. He was so terrified he’d get so comfortable with Minho just like he had with Hyunjin and then have him drop him just as easily. He didn’t know if he could go through the pain again. “Jisung.” Minho’s voice cut through his thoughts as he finally looked up to meet Minho’s eyes. “Did you hear me?” Jisung nodded slowly as he fumbled with the jacket Minho had given him when they left the cafe, his eyebrows knotted as he took a deep breath before giving out a quick exhale. “I tend to run away from things. Mostly because I screwed things up with them and I feel as if it would be better if I just wasn’t in the picture all together.” Minho pursed his lips before leaning against his wall, his arms crossed over his chest as he stared down Jisung. “What did you do to get cuffed back then?”

“Sold a rock in a box and told them it was a phone.” He was so to the point it almost startled Minho, Jisung’s mouth slightly curled into a smile as he thought of the situation they met in before quickly changing back to his emotionless face. Minho tilted his head, his lips parting a bit as he watched the shift in emotion. “Why are you asking questions? If you don’t trust me I can always go. It won’t hurt my feelings.” Minho let out a sigh before making his way to sit next to the other boy. “It’s not that, I’m just worried. You say you fight with your parents a lot so it seems to be affecting you more than you know. You’re acting up and getting carried away, you almost got arrested for starters. I just want you to know you can tell me anything, no matter how fucked up it is.” Jisung smiled with a soft chuckle, Minho seemed way too eager to get to know him.

“You’re crazy.” Minho propped up his head as he leaned against the back of the couch with a laugh. “Maybe, but there’s something that draws me towards you. It’s hard to ignore such a strong feeling.” Jisung turned to study Minho’s face before getting off the couch with a soft hum. “Can I just go to sleep or are you going to interrogate me?” Minho chuckled before getting up, his body moving to a room that looked like it was barely used. “Make yourself at home, whatever is mine can be yours...or whatever. You don’t have to run away from this place. No matter what you do, can’t mess up with me. I don’t know much about you but Jisung..I feel like fate sent me to you that day.” Jisung looked back at Minho as he stood in the door frame after Jisung had already made his way into the room. “I don’t believe in fate.” Jisung’s voice was soft before he turned away from the other with a pained expression.

Minho hummed softly as a response before moving from the door frame. “Well..goodnight Jisung.” He walked back to his room, Jisung’s head turned as he left. His gaze watching the other male leave and walk into his room at the other end of the hall. He sighed deeply before getting cozy into the bed. How long could he really stay here?

* * *

His night was full of tossing and turning, his forehead was soaked with sweat as his fingers gripped the blanket. He probably would have fallen deep into his regular night terrors if he was alone at any other place but he wasn’t. His body was shaken awake, his eyes opening quickly as he gasped for his breath. Minho’s hands firmly grabbing his shoulders with a worried expression. “Hey..I’m off to work but..do you need anything? Are you alright? I can call in..?” Jisung slowed his breath, the back of his hand wiping his forehead as he tried to reassure the other. “I’m fine..you shouldn’t stay home because I didn’t sleep well. Really..I’m fine, it’s probably because I’m in a new place. Don’t stress about it.” Minho didn’t seem too pleased with the answer he got but he loosened his grip of the other’s shoulders with a slight frown.

“Would you feel better if I went to work instead of calling in and checking up on you?” Jisung nervously scratched his neck trying to think. If Minho left he could probably get a quick smoke in depending on if Minho didn’t take breaks to check up on him. He wasn’t sure he wanted to even open up about his use for drugs yet so he didn’t feel that comfortable with openly saying he needed a quick smoke to sleep soundly. “Honestly, yeah. No offense but, I prefer to be alone. I’m sure I’ll warm up to you later but until then, I think I’m more comfortable alone.” Minho nodded as he removed his hands from Jisung before smiling sweetly. “No problem, I’ll be home at noon, I left my phone number on the kitchen table so call me if you need okay? If you need anything, and I mean _anything_ you let me know. I’ll come rushing to provide.” 

Jisung smiled shyly at the statement, he was making it hard to really not want to lean against him for support. He’s making it dangerously hard. “‘Kay..now go! Don’t be late for work at..fucking 5 am.” Jisung rubbed his eyes with a soft groan as he flopped back into bed as Minho left the room, he stayed laying down until he heard the other leave the house and drive off. Jisung sat up before quickly moving to the corner of the room where he left his bag. He took out his bong and the bag of the small amount of weed he had left, his lips letting out a soft groan before he opened the window in his room. He leaned out his window before shaking his head, no he can’t do it here. It’s too easy to find out, it’s way too risky. He grabbed his bag after shoving his things back into it and started to begin his walk. He had to find some sort of alley or something away from people to do it. He eventually settled for an alley close to Minho’s house, his mouth sucking in air as his eyelashes fluttered slowly. God he missed being high.

Once he was finished he stumbled his way back into bed with a deep sigh of relief. His body relaxed into the bed as he snuggled into the blankets. His eyes slowly closing as he fell into a deep peaceful state. He didn’t even notice when Minho came home from work and checked up on him, never noticed the extra blanket draped over him until he woke up to his phone blaring out an alarm. His head lifted slowly before his body bolted up. “Shit.” He closed the door to his room as he quickly changed into his uniform, his hands brushing through his hair as he stepped out. Minho watched as he frantically applied a bit of makeup in the bathroom before dashing out and to the door.

“Are you..needing a ride to work? You look a bit late.” Jisung halted in his tracks as he swallowed his nerves. “Oh my god could you? I can _not_ be late again.” Minho chuckled before grabbing his keys as he walked out the door. Jisung followed him, his body sinking into the passenger's seat as he tried to make himself look more presentable in the mirror. Minho started to drive, his gaze falling onto Jisung as they parked into the cafe’s parking lot. Jisung was about to get out when Minho grabbed his arm. “Jisung you look fine, trust me.” 

Jisung smiled quickly before hopping out and running into the building to clock in just in time, his hand quickly sliding his card with soft pants. His boss walking around the corner with a soft chuckle. “Oh Jisung..can you come to work early for once in your life?” Jisung shook his head with a big grin before putting on his apron with a hum, some of his coworkers coming to greet him. “God you’ve been smoking before work again?” One of them spoke up, one of his friends from work stared back at him with a smirk. “Fuck off Seungmin, but is it that noticable?” Jisung’s expression shifted as he pulled his shirt up to his nose as Seungmin chuckled softly. “Nah, I just know you too well. Go help those new people then meet me back here. I have to tell you about this cute boy I met yesterday.”

Jisung rolled his eyes playfully before walking out to take orders, his eyes catching Minho sitting at one of the tables by the window. He held his breath for a moment before making his way to his table. “Minho don’t you have anything else better to do?” The male looked up before smiling sweetly at his waiter. “What kind of service is that? Should I report you to your manager?” He pouted with a playful smirk before laughing as Jisung’s eyes filled with shock. “Kidding, and besides. I can come to a cafe when I want. I was hungry and I already drove you here so I decided I might as well get something while I’m at it. Didn’t expect you to be my server though, lucky me~”

Jisung pulled out his notepad from his apron as he tapped his pen against his lips. “What can I get for you then?” Minho hummed as his eyes scanned the menu before putting it down and staring at Jisung with a smile. “Surprise me with your favorite thing on the menu.” Jisung could feel his cheeks heat up as he uncapped his pen with his teeth before writing down Minho’s order. He capped his pen before putting it behind his ear with a smile, “Coming right up.” He turned to walk towards other tables as he wrote down their orders before giving them to the kitchen, Seungmin now right beside him.

“Who was that?” Jisung looked over at the younger with a confused look. “Who was what?” He furrowed his eyebrows as he played with his pen as he tried to look anywhere but at Seungmin. “That guy that was lowkey flirting with you as you took his order.” Jisung glanced over at Minho before rolling his eyes. “He’s just a guy that I live with. A roommate, nothing more.” Seungmin hummed before cozying up to Jisung with a smirk. “Nothing more you say? Then how come he got you all flustered~?” Jisung scoffed as he grabbed the orders for his tables with a pout. “Shut up you’re annoying. I hate you and I don’t want to be your friend anymore.” Seungmin snorted before slapping Jisung’s ass with a soft coo. “Love you too Jisungie!” 

Jisung rolled his eyes before sticking his tongue out at the younger, his body stopping by tables to give them their orders before sitting down at Minho’s. “So you know where I work, so tell me about you. Where do you work?” He propped his head in his palms as he stared at Minho with a sparkle to his eyes. Minho looked up from his phone before speaking with a smile. “I do dance at this small studio. In the mornings I practice then later at like, seven I teach this dance class. Then at nights sometimes I choreograph a dance team that goes on competitions and stuff.” He smiled sweetly as he spoke, his eyes never leaving Jisung’s face once.

Jisung smiled back, his cheeks dusting a light color of red before jumping at the sound of his name. “Jisung your orders have been waiting here! Quit taking a break and do your job you sexy ass!” Jisung looked over his shoulder as Seungmin playfully winked before going to take orders in an opposite section of the cafe. “I should get back to work.” He knocked gently on the table before getting up, his body slipping behind the counter as his hands grabbed his orders. He gave the people their food before finding himself glancing back over at Minho who was back to looking at his phone. What about him makes him special? 

Jisung sighed as he leaned against the counter, his eyes closing for a moment before Seungmin’s presence was next to him. “So are you seriously telling me this roommate of yours ordered the ‘Jisung special’ and you two _aren’t_ fucking?” Jisung scoffed as he straightened his body so he was standing by the other instead of practically sleeping on the counter. “Shut up, what were you saying about this hot guy you met yesterday? I want all the details.” He grabbed Minho’s plate before placing it onto his table with a small smile. “There. This is my favorite thing on the menu.” Minho studied what was in front of him before laughing softly. “Cheesecake and chocolate milk? You?” He looked up at the male with the biggest smile, his eyes crinkling as they formed half moons. “What do you mean me? I like cheesecake..”

Minho smiled before shaking his head, his hands gently taking Jisung’s arms as his fingers traced his tattoos. “Jisung have you ever looked at yourself in the mirror? Your dark blue hair and your nose piercing. Tattoos too, you don’t look like the type of person who enjoys a glass of chocolate milk and cheesecake. It’s something I would never have guessed about you.” Jisung tilted his head as his eyes scanned his arms as Minho ran his finger along the vines on his arm. “My exterior is quite different from my interior I suppose.”

Jisung turned to walk back to the counter as he let a breath he didn’t know he was holding go, his shoulders relaxing as he leaned against the wall. “Tell me about the boy Minnie.” He tugged on Seungmin’s uniform with a soft giggle as his head nuzzled against the younger’s arm. Seungmin quirked his eyebrow up before running his free hand through the dark strands of his friend’s hair, his other hand pouring a cup of coffee to someone with a hum. “Jisung are you high right now? You’re so bubbly today.” Jisung shook his head with a soft exhale, his head lifting up from Seungmin’s arm. “No, I just feel good I guess.” This earned a smirk from the other as he poked at Jisung’s stomach. “Because of roommate boy~?” 

“No! Maybe..? It doesn’t matter oh my god. Just tell me about _your_ guy you met!” He smiled as he snuck a glance at Minho as he ate the cheesecake, his eyes searching for his reaction from the dish. “Anyways, the guy I met yesterday was kinda down in the dumps. He looked as if his best friend had died you know?” Jisung hummed as he wiped down the counter as he tried to make himself look busy as Seungmin continued. “So I decided to get him a drink, as the gentleman I am. He took it and we started talking, turns out someone _had_ left in his life but he didn’t want to go into details so we just kinda glossed over it.” Jisung nodded as he leaned against the counter with a nod. “Go on..”

Seungmin squirmed in his spot as he tried his best to remain calm, not knowing how miserably he was failing. “And so, with the drinks in our systems we just kinda got all touchy and I know I shouldn’t get so excited ‘cuz it was probably him just drunk but he gave me his number and…” He gushed as his hands went to his red tainted cheeks as he looked away embarrassed. Jisung raised his eyebrow as he craned his neck to get a better look at Seungmin’s expression. “Oh my god Jisung we like-- made out in his car, it was so hot. He was so rough but at the same time so fucking gentle. My body was just pressed down on his back seat it was magical..” 

At this point Jisung was only half listening, his hands cupping a mug as he took sips of the hot chocolate he made for himself while Seungmin was rambling on about getting some drunk dude’s number. His eyes opened quickly as he practically choked on his drink, his hand going to wipe his lips before he dared to speak. “You think making out in some drunk dude’s back seat is _magical_? Sounds like he wasn’t thinking straight, considering he was upset about something and then randomly made out with you. Was he at least hot?” Jisung blew on his drink before taking a sip of it as he waited for Seungmin to reply, he was obviously trying to remember the male through the fuzzy memories of that night. It was almost like Jisung could hear his gears in his head churning as he tried to recall anything.

“You know, I think he probably was. You know me and my high standards.” He hummed as Jisung tried to contain a snicker. “You literally tried getting in my pants when I had a boyfriend, I’d say they aren’t too high.” Seungmin opened his mouth to protest but only a sigh came out. “You act like you weren’t the hottest one at that party, besides we were drunk and I’m very proud of you for staying loyal to whatever your boyfriend’s name was. That’s why I love you so much, you could never cheat on me~!” He grinned as he pecked Jisung’s cheek as the other groaned in agony. “Ew Seungmin! I hate you.” He wiped his cheek before looking back at his tables, his mouth dropping as Minho still sat there while the others that got there before him had left.

Jisung went out to collect his tips before standing beside Minho’s table with a perplexed look. “You know, most people leave after they're done and have paid.” The other hummed in response before looking up to meet Jisung’s gaze. “Yeah well, normal people don’t really drive you to work do they?” Jisung puffed his cheeks out before picking up the dishes from the tables. “You can leave, I close today so like..I’ll be late.” He walked away to the kitchen only to come out and see Minho sitting at the bar now. Seungmin obviously snickering in the corner as he watched the two interact before going to work on his tables. 

“So it’ll be dark by the time you’re done?” Jisung shifted his weight between his legs as he nodded, his eyebrows furrowing as he crossed his arms over his chest. “What about it? I’ve walked home in the dark before. I look scary on my exterior remember? I don’t get many people trying to do things to me.” Minho straightened his back as he cleared his throat before speaking up again. “You said not many, as in people have tried?” Jisung was dumbfounded, he’s never seen someone so worried about a guy they just met. “I mean yeah but..it’s no big deal, I know how to protect myself. Just go home Minho, don’t you have to wake up in the ass crack of dawn anyways?” Minho shrugged before resting his head in his palm as he sighed contently. “I’m content with staying here and driving you back home.”

Jisung stopped trying to protest as his eyes rolled, his body walking away to greet the new customers that walked in. He’d occasionally glance over at Minho who ended up dozing off as he sat at the bar, his head resting in his palm with his eyes shut. Jisung staring at him with a small smile, his head tilted as he studied Minho’s facial features. His eyes wandering to his messy hair down to his pretty eyelashes, his cheek as it was squished against the hand that was propping it up. He was gorgeous in every single aspect. Jisung didn’t even notice he was staring that long until Seungmin cleared his throat behind him. “You’re into him aren’t you?” Jisung shook his head quickly before his lips parted to speak. “We just met, besides you know I don’t do relationships since Hyunjin.”

Seungmin frowned slightly before ruffling his hand through Jisung’s already messy hair. “Hyunjin was your most recent ex right? That made you run away?” Jisung groaned as his hair was being played with, his hand gripping Seungmin’s wrist as he released his hair from his grip. “Yes, and speaking about relationships. Did you even get your mystery guys name?” Seungmin was silent for a moment which caused Jisung to look over, studying the nervous smile on the others face as he was rubbing his neck with a toothy grin. “Oh my _god_ Seungmin you didn’t even get his name!?” He sighed as he rubbed his face with a groan. “You’re impossible to deal with, why am I even friends with you?” The other only giggled as they went on with their own sides of the cafe.

Jisung yawned as he rested his head against the wall, his eyes staring at the clock as it ticked down to minutes until he could close up. Seungmin long gone now and the cafe barely occupied by anyone besides Minho and himself. His eyes shifted to look at Minho, his eyes now open from his nap but just barely. His brown irises barely noticeable under his lashes. Once the others left he picked up their dishes, his body walking past Minho several times without either of them saying one word. Jisung slid his card through the machine as he clocked out, his hands taking his apron off before letting out a long sigh. His body stretching, his arms going over his head as his shirt slipped up a bit showing his stomach.

He completely forgot Minho was still there, his hand running through his hair before pulling his shirt to his forehead as he wiped off his sweat from the day. “Aw look at Jisung’s tummy, his baby abs.” Jisung’s shoulders tensed as he dropped his shirt before laughing nervously. “Shut up, I can’t believe you stayed for my six hour shift. You’re really something else.” He licked his lips before dumping his tips onto the bar with a hum. “It’s a good tip day~ Lucky me.” Jisung’s head tilted as he counted out the money, barely even noticing Minho’s head brushing against his own as he double counted it with him. 

The two looked up together, their noses practically touching before Jisung pulled away quickly. “Let’s go home, you’re probably exhausted or whatever..” He folded the dollar bills in half before shoving them in his jeans pocket. They walked out, Jisung turning back to lock the door with a slight shiver as he rubbed his arms. Minho’s eyes studied his every movement, from the nervous weight shifting to the slight shiver he had once they were outside. “Here, Jisung.” He took off his jacket as he draped it over his shoulders. “You need it more than I do, I at least have a sweater on.” Jisung opened his mouth to protest but Minho was already heading towards his car. He turned to wait for Jisung as he opened the car door, his body leaning against it as he smiled back at the shocked boy. “Come on Jisung, you said it yourself, I’m exhausted so let’s get home. I wouldn’t want to wake up late for work like you.”

Jisung stuck his tongue out with a playful ‘hmph’ as he got into the car. “You know Minho, you didn’t have to stay my whole shift but..I’m kinda glad you did.” He smiled shyly before turning away from the other as he watched out the window, his cheek resting against the cold class as his eyes watched things pass as Minho drove.

> _He will not fall for Lee Minho. He will not fall for Lee Minho. He will not fall for Lee Minho. He will not fall for Lee Minho. He will not fall for Lee Minho. He will not fall for Lee Minho. He will not fall for Lee Minho. He will not fall for Lee Minho. He will not fall for Lee Minho._
> 
> But what if he wants to?


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the one with the party of familiar faces

Jisung slept that night, he slept amazingly. It wasn’t even because of the high of the weed he snuck out to take while Minho was taking a shower. He felt the buzz of course but he was so sleepy even before that, something that was so strangely rare. He’s never been that tired after work though it was such a nice feeling. His eyes shut almost immediately as he hit the bed, he slowly undressed himself before burying himself under the blankets. His sleep was amazing, it was the best sleep he’s gotten in years. How was this even possible? Earlier he woke up with thrashing nightmares but now his body is at its calmest. He refused to believe Seungmin was right, his body could not have been so calm because of Minho. The two just met, there’s no way.

He woke up to a faint ringing coming from the end of the hall, it was most likely Minho’s alarm for work. His eyes scanned the room before he slowly sat up, the blanket falling from his shoulders exposing his bare chest. Minho was out of his room in moments after his alarm, his hair pulled back in a small ponytail as he had his phone held in between his ear and shoulder while his hands were straightening his clothes in the mirror in the hallway. His lips moving as he softly spoke to whoever was on the phone, Jisung moving to listen even though he felt like he shouldn’t. It wasn’t any of his business who Minho called at five in the morning but he couldn’t help but feel curious.

“Yeah and I understand that but I’m kinda already renting out my spare room.” He sighed as he looked over at Jisung’s bedroom, the blankets moved to the side though he didn’t think much of it. He looked back into the mirror before finally taking his phone into his hands. “My couch? What kind of trouble have you gotten yourself into now? Just stay at your parents.” Jisung watched as he walked into the kitchen, his free hand making himself a cup of coffee as he yawned quietly. “I’ll think about it, you’re going to Changbin’s party right?” Silence. “Yeah I’ll see you there then, see ya man.” He hung up before slowly sipping his drink with a smile, Jisung bit his thumb nail before deciding to just walk out of his room trying to look like he just so casually woke up.

Minho looked up, his face automatically showing a worried expression. “Shit did I wake you up?” Jisung rubbed his eyes before shaking his head with a soft hum. “Nah, I slept really good last night for once so I guess I’m just ready to wake up. Can’t sleep forever you know.” Minho nodded as he kept silent before checking the clock on the wall. “I hate to leave you all alone but I gotta dash.” He picked up his bag and made his way to the door but stopped, his body turning around with a small frown tugging at his lips. “You know, I noticed you didn’t bring much to that cafe. Let’s go shopping after I get home okay? You can use my shampoo for your shower today if you’d like. I heard I smell amazing so..use it if you need.” He then moved and left the house with a soft hum to a tune Jisung recognized, a song that played a lot at his cafe. Cute.

Jisung moved to the bathroom, his reflection in the mirror daunting. He looked gross, his body was thin and his hair has seen better days. He sighed before glancing at his lower half before having a dark blush creep on his face. He totally forgot he was only wearing boxers and he just walked out and talked to Minho like it was no big deal. He gulped as he rubbed his arms with a nervous look to himself in the mirror. That made him feel vulnerable in every way, Minho could see how skinny he was along with the scars that scattered his body. Had he noticed any of them? They were all healed at this point and he wasn’t all that close to him. His mind ran miles as he tried to tell himself Minho hadn’t noticed it, his body walking into the shower after he had taken off his boxers after endless amounts of staring at his own body in the mirror. 

His hand turned the water to cold, he hated warm showers. They were uncomfortable, it made him feel sick as if being stuck in a small place wasn’t bad enough. Heat made it so much worse, made him feel like things were closing around him and he was being surrounded by his own body heat and breath as it bounced back against the wall and onto his skin. It’s an irrational fear though it justified his liking to cold showers. Hyunjin hated showering with him for that very reason, whenever they’d shower together it would be how Hyunjin liked it. Then again Jisung couldn’t really complain, he loved being near him. Hyunjin made him so calm, the fear just etched away with him. The water hit his back as he stood still, his mind halting as he bit his lip, trying to keep the tears from falling down his cheeks. _Hyunjin._ Why was he in his mind at a time like this? 

He sniffled as he turned to face the other way as he took a deep breath, the water dripping from his face as he ran his head under. His hair sticking to his forehead as he just stood there, his eyes closed as he tipped his head back to let the water hit his neck. Why Hyunjin? He didn’t need Hyunjin popping up into his thoughts again, he didn’t need such a heartbreak when he’s been doing so good. He opened his eyes, his hand pushing back his bangs before letting out a shaky breath. He was doing so well. His tears flowing with the water that hit his face, his hand propping his body up as he pressed it against the wall. His chin dropped to his chest as the water hit his back instead, his sobs barely being heard over the shower. 

The face of disgust from the last time they talked burned into his mind, the sound of hurt in Hyunjin’s voice as Jisung’s parents told him that Jisung had offed himself. The fact that he could never even try again with him since he was supposedly dead. His eyes shut tightly as his body shook, the cold air mixing with the water beating down on his back was painful, his eyes prickling with tears as his hand formed a fist. “Dammit!” He punched the wall only to cry in pain, that was the stupidest thing he’s done, the wall was marble _tile_ for god’s sake. He rubbed his knuckles as he took a deep breath, he just needed to calm down. He took several deep breaths before grabbing Minho’s shampoo with a small smile.

_Minho._

Minho was here for him now, Jisung didn’t want to let him be a replacement. He didn’t want to use him like that, that would probably break Minho’s heart. He’s done so much for Jisung, it wouldn’t be fair to him if he just ended up being something Jisung used to get over his ex boyfriend. That’s what his drugs were for, Minho was there to be his friend. He decided that, he won’t be using Minho. He’ll be befriending him, he needs a good friend right now. He got out of the shower awhile later, his hand moving to tug at his hair to smell the shampoo. It was the most amazing smell, a sweet smell of peaches mixed with some sort of flowery tone. How feminie of Minho.

His hands gently dried off his body before walking to his room with a large sigh, Minho was right. He didn’t pack much for himself, he just ran from his house in a frenzy. He pulled out another pair of boxers before moving his gaze to the closed door from the other side of the hall. He gulped slowly before walking to the door, his hand gently opening it as he peered inside. Minho’s bed was made neatly despite having to wake up at five everyday. He slowly stepped in to take a better look at all the things Minho had in his room, the small stuffed animals on his bed along with the three small cat figures on his desk. His desk scattered with notebooks along with a laptop, wide open for the world to see. He shouldn’t be snooping but Jisung couldn’t help but look around at Minho’s open tabs.

“Recipes, he cooks I see. Nice, Nice.” His eyes scanned the others, nothing of interest popping up until the last one. His social media. Jisung clicked around looking at all the photos of Minho, a lot of them being photos of some cat. A stray by the looks of it. His eyes scanned the minimal photos of Minho had on his page with a small smile, they were usually with someone else though some were just himself. His selfies rather odd as he used weird filters but it was humorous to say the least, it was his brand. Jisung’s finger clicked one of the photos with a curious look, a photo of him and three males. Two of them making out in the back though the other was smiling brightly at the camera, a handsome blonde. Jisung tilted his head, he kind of had a familiar vibe about him though he couldn’t put his finger on why. He shrugged it off before closing up his laptop and looking around, he came here for a specific reason. To steal some of his clothes.

Jisung didn’t exactly want to go through with it, it was something you’d do with your significant other but he didn’t really have that much options for himself. His hands gently opened Minho’s drawers slightly as he grabbed a random sweater that was on top. He closed the drawer before leaving the room, his hand closing his door gently before pulling the clothing over his head. It smelled just like him, it was almost as if he was right next to Minho himself. Though he couldn’t say he didn’t enjoy it.

He pulled on some sweatpants before laying on the couch with a soft sigh, his fingers going to text Minho with a hum.

**You:** _hey when you come home, you should feed me :)_

**Minho:** _Can you not cook for yourself lol_

**You:** _what if i burn down the house_

**Minho:** _Okay fair point, it’s a decent concern to have._

 **Minho:** _I’ll be home in an hour, try not to starve_

Jisung hummed with his victory as he lifted his head with a smile. His body skipping to his room as he pulled out the small baggie, the only thing he had of Felix left. He sighed as he tilted his head at the thought, where did Felix go? Why didn’t he keep his end of the promise when they said they’d visit each other often. He just forgot Jisung existed it seemed. His eyebrows furrowed as he gripped the bag with a huff, what was with him today? His episode in the shower and now he’s getting upset over Felix too? He needed a distraction, and luckily for him Felix provided well. He poured the last of the contents onto the small bedside table, his hands grabbing his straw as he tried to make a line with a hum. His fingers shook as he began to take deep breaths in his nose, his high registering almost instantly. The bubbly happy feeling taking over his thoughts as he moved to the living room to wait for Minho to come home.

He was happily swinging his legs as he sat on the couch when Minho walked in with a soft sigh, his hair messily sticking up in every direction as he tossed his shoes to the side. “Good to see my house not burnt down and that you’re still alive. Though, is that my sweater?” Jisung nodded with a shy look as he pulled the fabric up to his nose as if to hide his nervous smile. Minho only chuckled before ruffling his hair. “I’m going to a party later tonight, wanna come?” 

Jisung’s mind thought about it, the possibility of having a good time were slim, he hated parties. The atmosphere of people getting drunk off their asses then making bad decisions made him nervous ever since he had broken up with Hyunjin. Hyunjin had always taken him to parties though he always stayed by his side luckily, until the time he didn’t. It was a traumatizing experience he’ll never forget.

“Nah, not really a party goer.” He smiled as he looked up from his spot as he noticed Minho was rummaging through his kitchen seeming to be getting ready to make a meal. He was joking about making Minho cook for him in all honesty but if he was going through with it Jisung wasn’t going to protest. Minho hummed, his eyes lifting to look at Jisung as he felt his gaze on him. “Well, I kinda want to have my friends meet you. Would you mind much if we had like a super mini party here then? Nothing serious and if you get uncomfortable I’ll tell them to leave.” Jisung studied Minho’s face, he was eager as always to get Jisung out there and meeting people. He was eager to help. How could he say no to such an eager face, it wasn’t humanly possible. “Sure.” Minho smiled widely as he pulled out his phone as he started to make food for the two. His voice spoke softly to the person on the other end with such excitement, it was kind of cute in a way to see him so excited about such a lowkey thing.

“Yeah, Binnie listen though. I want you to meet my friend and he would rather have a better and smaller environment okay? Invite your boytoys too, they sadly are qualified as our friends.” His voice teasing before he hung up with a smile and a thumbs up. “Small party, just like. Five of us. Nothing big, nothing fancy.” He smiled as he turned back towards the kitchen, the smell from the room almost acting like a high as Jisung took a large inhale. Jisung had to admit, Minho was good at just about everything and it was kind of attractive.

The food was amazing and it left him feeling full for once in a long time, it was both amazing and uncomfortable. He laid on the couch lazily only to have Minho stand in front of him with a large grin, “If we’re going to have some sort of party, we should probably get your shopping done now wouldn’t you think?” Jisung hummed softly as he sat up but he stopped to think, if his parents had claimed he was dead surely they canceled his cards. How was he supposed to go shopping with no money? “Minho I’m broke, I’ll be fine-” Minho’s eyes narrowed before shaking his head with a soft chuckle. “No way, i’m treating you. I have no idea what to do with this money my stuck up dad gives me every month. He thinks I don’t have a job or some shit so I just kinda have it saved up for emergencies but I think I can splurge a bit on you. Besides, you must’ve broken into my room to get my sweater this morning huh? Creep.”

Jisung smiled nervously before Minho patted his head with a chuckle. “I’m _kidding._ Come on, let’s go spoil you.” Jisung nodded as he got up with a deep sigh, this sounded like some sort of sugar daddy scenario but he wasn’t going to fight Minho about it. He knew he wouldn’t be able to convince Minho to not buy him things, he’s seen too much of his shit. Though he hasn’t seen everything, and Jisung was terrified to see how he’d react if he found out about his dependence on drugs. 

After they were done with shopping and Minho had seemed satisfied with all the bags that were hanging off of Jisung’s arms along with all the ones adorning his own. Minho went absolutely nuts, Jisung was thoroughly exhausted after all the outfits he tried on and all the things Minho chucked at him last minute causing them to turn right back around and do it all over again. He seemed to be having fun though, Jisung couldn’t bring himself to complain while looking at such a beautiful smile that was spread on Minho’s face. He was gorgeous, his smile could light up the whole universe. It was so warm and it truly beckoned Jisung closer. It made him just want to be close to him all the time. And that scared him.

* * *

“Alright Jisung, my friends will be here in like five and I need to set some ground rules. They’re annoying as hell but don’t tell them that. Especially not Felix. God he’s such a fucking brat. Don’t give him shit with Changbin around unless you want to lose your dick. Last but not least, don’t flirt with Chan. I’m not saying you will but if anyone attractive flirts with him, he will try to get straight into your pants.” Jisung nodded, his mind going all over the place not knowing what detail to focus on. The fact that he also knew a Felix or because he feels on edge with the fact that this Chan character finds it so easy to get into people’s pants. Or maybe he should focus on the fact that Minho called Jisung attractive, it was subtle but it was surely there.

“Got it. Anything else?” Minho thought for a moment before taking Jisung’s face gently before pulling their faces together, their foreheads resting against each other as he spoke softly. “You don’t have to like my friends. Please, _please_ tell me if they ever make you uncomfortable or unsafe okay? I’ll drop anything for you.” Jisung swallowed the lump in his throat as he tried his best to keep his tears from falling but he couldn’t help it. No one has taken so much care of him before, not even _Hyunjin_ would drop his friends for him. _Hyunjin_ thought he was faking half his panic attacks whenever he took him to parties. _Hyunjin_ never really understood what those types of things did to his mind. It was horrifying. 

Minho wasted no time, his fingers were brushing away his tears in no time. His thumb gently rubbing along Jisung’s cheeks as he softly cried as Minho wiped his eyes, not a word spoken between the two of them. Minho didn’t say anything, he just acted. His arms slowly wrapping around Jisung’s small body as his hands moved to brush through his hair. His voice gently breaking the silence as he whispered into Jisung’s ear. “Hey..it’s okay Jisung. It’s okay to cry, you’re alright. I can cancel the party if you just want to stay and watch a movie instead.” 

His voice was so soft, so soothing as he softly spoke to Jisung as he tried to stop crying. His tears dampening Minho’s shirt as he slowly calmed himself down. “No..no don’t cancel because of me. I wasn’t crying out of sadness. I..” He wiped his cheeks before moving to leave Minho’s embrace even if he didn’t particularly want to. “I’m just so happy..” He sniffled as he smiled shyly before shifting his weight nervously. “Sorry.” Minho quirked an eyebrow before leaning against the wall with a soft chuckle. “Sorry for what? Crying? Jisung, don’t be sorry. I don’t mind dropping things to comfort you. I told you, I feel like fate sent me to you, like to help or some shit.” Jisung hummed before turning to his room, his body stopping at the door frame with a small smile. “Thanks Minho..”

The party started soon, he knew Minho said they’d be there in five but he didn’t expect it to be that soon. He stood by the door with Minho, his throat tightening as he nervously played with the sleeves of Minho’s sweater. He didn’t know why he was so nervous to meet Minho’s friends. He looked over at the other with a small smile before jumping slightly to the soft tone of Minho’s doorbell. “Here we go Jisung. Remember what I said, all of it.” He opened the door but when Jisung looked up to see the friends he lost it. His eyes filled with tears as the freckled boy stared back at him with a shocked look.

They only took a moment for shock, the two males tangled in a hug as Felix tried to contain his tears. “Fuck Jisung, it’s you baby!” Jisung smiled as his fingers gripped Felix’s shirt tightly, his knuckles going white as he squeezed the other tighter. Felix’s lips pressed along his face before they landed on his lips, the two sharing a deep kiss. Minho was speechless as he watched his best friend jump onto Jisung and kiss him. A male behind the two cleared his throat as Felix gently pulled away before smiling brightly. “Changbin, babe this is Jisung. I always talk about him, this is him!” 

Jisung smiled nervously as he waved to the two other men as he clung to Felix with such a big smile. “I missed you..” His eyes sparkled as he snuggled into Felix, his fingers running through his soft orange hair. His lips pouting practically begging for more kisses despite the three other men staring at them in utter shock. Felix chuckled softly, his eyes moving to the two males he came with before planting another kiss onto Jisung’s lips. “I missed you too baby.” He nuzzled their noses together before taking him to the other males.

“This, my doll, is Changbin. He’s my boyfriend and legally my dad. This one, is my sugar daddy but also my boyfriend Chan. And this is my best friend and also my baby boy Jisung.” Jisung smiled as he looked over at Minho who seemed utterly shocked. Minho snorted softly as he shook his head slowly. “Can’t believe you guys took the daddy kink to a whole nother level” Changbin scoffed as Chan focued on Jisung, He tilted his head before tilting Jisung’s chin up with a soft hum. “I think I know you. Did we fuck?” Jisung blinked before focusing on his face. Chan smiled as he pecked Jisung’s cheek before moving to his ear. “We met at that club remember?” Jisung’s cheeks burned as he nodded slowly, he did remember this guy. He was the one who gave him his stash for the week for the low price of his body. “Yeah..we did.” He chuckled softly as Felix looked at him with his mouth opened slightly.

“Jisung got fucked by _my_ sugar daddy!? You sly dog. I guess Changbin is the only one who hasn’t gotten in your pants, huh?” Minho’s eyebrows furrowed as he tried to think of how he didn’t hear about Jisung from all his friends if they all basically knew him already. Changbin smirked before separating Jisung from Felix as he pinned the other to the wall. “I guess it’s my turn to have you little one~?” Jisung melted into the strong grip on the other male as he growled softly into his ear. Jisung tried to keep his blush to himself but he couldn’t help himself with such a strong figure pinning him against the wall. 

Minho took a deep breath before speaking up with a deep dark tone. “Guys. Jisung is not something you can toss around for your own pleasure. You guys are in a relationship with each other, not him. He’s not yours to play with.” Jisung let a deep exhale leave his lips as Changbin left to move next to Felix and Chan with a soft hum. He rubbed his neck nervously before looking down at the floor, he was embarrassed that he kissed Felix after not seeing him after ages. He was embarrassed that he let Changbin get him excited even with never meeting the guy before in his life. Minho didn’t seem mad at him but he didn’t seem very happy either.

“I don’t need to know how many of my friends have slept with Jisung, that’s his business not mine. And it’s disgusting of you guys to see him as something you can pass around.” He went to stand next to Jisung, his hand gently rubbing the lower half of his back before looking at the other with a small smile. Jisung smiled back slightly before moving to sit on the couch, his body curling up in the corner as he put on a movie with a soft sigh. Felix was next to him in an instant as he snuggled close, his arms wrapping around his waist quickly. “Don’t worry Minho, me and him go way back and he knows I love him more than anything. Isn’t that right buttercup~?” Jisung hummed in response before looking back at Minho, his face etching with worry as their eyes met. His lips tugged into a smile before mouthing ‘it’s fine’ to Minho before snuggling into Felix’s body.

Chan sat on the floor in between Felix and Jisung as Changbin sat on the couch next to Felix, his hand slid between his thighs with a smile. Minho sat at the edge of the couch, his eyes not watching the movie at all, he was too focused on making sure Jisung felt comfortable. He had to make sure he was happy, and above all he had to make sure Jisung was safe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope yall enjoyed this! I had some tiny plot holes so I hope this chapter isn't bad cuz I was kinda doing it on the spot for a hot sec


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> happy valentines hehe uwu ! jisung really goin thru it rn

It has been a good month or two after that night, Jisung had become good friends with Chan and Changbin despite having a weird past with ⅔ of their relationship. They were his best friends, when Minho couldn’t drive him to work or pick him up one of the three would be waiting for him instead. His “relationship” with Felix came to an end, instead of casually kissing they moved on to just being friends. Jisung didn’t mind it like he thought he would, he enjoyed laughing with Felix as if they’ve never had such relations with each other. He’s never felt happier in his life than the moments he’s with Minho and the small group of friends he had. Chan, Changbin, Felix, and Minho were his little family. Nothing could come in between them, granted Jisung hadn’t even brought up his past drug use with Minho but he didn’t feel like he had to. He had been clean for almost his whole stay with Minho and he felt good without them. He had his bad days but overall Minho’s energy gave him the high he needed. It was all perfect..

* * *

“Hey Sungie?” Minho poked his head into Jisung’s room, his lips curling up as he saw Jisung half asleep as he laid on top of a book that he had given him earlier. “Hey buttercup..” His hand brushed along Jisung’s ear as he moved his hair behind. Jisung hummed before lifting his head up slightly, his hand wiping the drool before sitting up and closing the book. “What’s up?” Minho leaned against his door frame with a slight frown before speaking up. “I know you hate parties so I’m going to one alone. I won’t be able to take you to work or pick you up but you know Chan would in a heartbeat. I know I told you last time that it was the last time I would do this to you but an old friend invited me and I wanted to catch up with him I’m so-” Jisung rolled his eyes as he pushed Minho out of his room with a chuckle. 

“Yeah yeah, I’ll be quiet when I come home so you can sleep off your hangover. I’ll call you into work in the morning if you need. Have fun Minnie!” He closed his door before sighing heavily, his body plopping onto his bed as he snuggled into his pillows. His room in Minho’s house has truly improved since he first started living here, he had his own laptop since he saved up most of his money from his job. Minho bought him matching bed sheets for him along with most of his clothes he owns for his birthday. He smiled up at his ceiling that was scattered with fairy lights he had begged Minho for as if he was his own mother. The two got so close, he trusted Minho with everything. He loved him, their friendship meant the world to him.

Jisung yawned, waking up to his alarm knowing that Minho was long gone getting ready for his party. He looked around the house before picking up his phone, his hands running through his hair as he spoke softly to Seungmin. “Hey can you pick me up? Minho is at some party.” Seungmin hummed from the phone before answering with a soft yes, the call ending as Jisung sighed softly. He got ready for his job, worked until close then went home as he tried his best to keep quiet. Minho’s bedroom door was slightly open, his keys tossed onto the table along with his coat on top of the couch. He must have been drunk if he tossed his things so carelessly around his house he always kept so clean. Jisung peeked into his room with a pang of curiosity, Minho was passed out in his bed though he wasn’t alone. Another body laid next to him, not that it was any of Jisung’s business but he wished he could have made out the other’s face in the dark. He gave up as he climbed into his own bed after stripping from his uniform. He didn’t sleep much, he didn’t know why having another person besides Minho in the house put him on edge. Minho was allowed to hook up with anyone he pleased, he shouldn’t need to worry about Jisung and his feelings. He eventually fell asleep, the morning sun shining onto his eyes in the morning along with the soft beeping of his alarm.

His hand tapped his phone before rubbing his eyes as his body sat up. He got dressed, his fingers brushing through his hair as he walked into the kitchen. “Min my hair dye is fading, let’s go buy some later.” He spoke softly though Minho’s usual ‘good morning’ didn’t come. Which was weird, Jisung knew for sure he had today off. Minho left a note on his desk saying he called himself in and would be free to do whatever. Jisung looked up where he would usually be sitting only to have his body come to a halt. Hyunjin’s dark eyes stared back shocked as his hands shakily held onto a coffee mug. 

“You’re alive.” Jisung smiled nervously before looking back at Minho’s now closed door to his room. “Yeah..my parents kinda ma-” His voice was cut off as Hyunjin started to speak again. “Don’t blame shit on your parents.” Jisung couldn’t believe his ears. His ex who _cried_ over the thought of him dead is now siding with his parents. “I can and will blame them for that rumor they made up about me offing myself.” Jisung scoffed before grabbing himself a mug though his whole body tensed as Hyunjin gripped his shoulders tightly, spinning Jisung’s body around to make eye contact. 

“Jisung stop! You pin the blame on them every time but have you stepped back and thought about what _you’ve_ done? You fucking ran away on top of doing drugs! You’ve bounced around and now what? You’re mooching off of Minho?” Jisung furrowed his eyebrows as his lips tugged into a frown, he was going to bark back but Minho’s voice calmed his every nerve. “Damn Jisung do you know every friend of mine? You get around.” Hyunjin snorted as he shoved his shoulder into Jisung’s before ruffling Minho’s hair. “Yeah he _really_ does. Can’t think of a friend of mine he hasn’t slept with.” Minho frowned as he looked over at Jisung, the boy leaning against the counter with a distressed look. “Think harder then, I’ve never slept with him.”

Hyunjin hummed as he stared holes into Jisung before turning to Minho with a smile, “How much about Jisung do you even know Minho?” Jisung’s throat tightened as he gripped his mug, his eyes were glued to the floor as he sipped his coffee silently. He was screwed, royally. Hyunjin was going to open his big mouth again and he’d have to run from this home too. His eyebrows furrowed as he tried to keep his composure, he didn’t want to run away from this too. Minho made him feel so at peace and happy. It was the happiest he’s ever been.

Minho shrugged as he moved to sit on the counter next to Jisung, his hand gently rubbing along his back. He knew having Hyunjin here didn’t seem to be sitting right with Jisung, his back rubbing hopefully putting him at ease. Hyunjin smirked as he sat on the other side of Jisung before he spoke up. “Well for starters, he’s a druggie. I’ve seen weed but I’m sure he does more behind closed doors.” Minho almost spit out his coffee, his hand moving from Jisung’s back as he turned to look at the two males next to him. Jisung’s face looked utterly ashamed as he stared down into his coffee though Hyunjin seemed pleased with himself. “He’s also kind of a slut, he’s slept with most of my friends and may I add he did so while we were _together._ Minho he’s insane. He even had his parents say he offed himself.” 

Jisung gritted his teeth before his mug was placed onto the counter, his voice barking back as he glared at Hyunjin. “I didn’t ask for them to fucking tell the whole world I killed myself! Do you think I like having to hide my face when I go to places that know my parents so they don’t go outing my parents as frauds!?” Minho reached out for Jisung though his hand was swatted away as he stepped closer to Hyunjin. “I never slept with your nasty ass friends either, they tried to get into _my_ pants and I’m sorry I was so loyal to my boyfriend! Maybe I should have cheated on your ass, you’re such a huge scumbag anyways!” Minho nibbled his lip as he watched their argument continue, he didn’t know the facts to step in. 

Hyunjin gripped Jisung’s top before glancing at his arms, his lips letting out a scoff. “Where’d you get the money to give yourself another sleeve of tattoos? And how about this Sungie? Where’d the money come from for this one?” His hand went to grip Jisung’s hair as he pulled his face to look into his eyes. “Your mother says you weren’t going to your job. So who’s giving you this money? Selling your body are we?” Jisung swallowed hard, his body melting into Hyunjin as he tried his best to keep the tears from welling up in his eyes. “You don’t know shit..” His voice wavered before Hyunjin let out a laugh, “See Minho? Jisung crumbles under me because he knows I’m right.” His hand squished Jisung's cheeks as he forced him to look at Minho with a hum. "Go on babe, tell Minho what you've done."

“Hyunjin this isn’t necessary.” Minho began to speak up but Hyunjin shook his head as he let go of Jisung’s hair. “You know, he has bigger secrets that he’ll never tell. Perhaps he doesn’t trust you won’t turn him in. He always puts down our relationship but I kept him out of jail, well and his parents of course. It was their money against my word.” Jisung shook his head as he softly spoke. “No, you don’t know anything about what happened.” His eyes filled with tears as Hyunjin smirked, his finger tilting Jisung’s chin up as they looked into each other's eyes.

“You have blood on your hands baby.” Jisung’s eyes shook as he felt panic rise through his body all at once. “N-no..it’s not like that..he was trying to hurt me..”

* * *

> THREE YEARS AGO

_Hyunjin stood next to his boyfriend, the two watching the party from afar. It’s what made Jisung the most comfortable even though all Hyunjin wanted to do was dance and have fun. He sighed before planting a kiss onto his boyfriend’s cheek, he couldn’t just stay here and be bored forever. “Babe I’ll be right back, want anything to drink?” Jisung shook his head as he watched the other disappear in the crowd, he knew that he probably wouldn’t be seeing him for awhile._

_He sighed as he moved to a quieter area of the house, his body taking him to a balcony as he stared up at the stars with a huge grin. “It’s gorgeous isn’t it Jisung?” Jisung looked behind him before smiling shyly. “Yeah..though what brings you here Taehui?” The boy hummed before leaning against the railing next to Jisung. “I noticed you came up here alone and I wanted to check up on you. Just being courteous.” Jisung smiled before heading back to the door to the house though Taehui’s hand firmly pressed the door close._

_“Leaving so soon Sungie? I thought we could chat a bit.” Jisung gulped as he leaned into the door behind him. “Yeah okay..” He desperately wanted to continue this interaction at least with his boyfriend nearby or really anyone near him. He hated Taehui and for a good reason. The male has tried getting into his pants multiple times but Seungmin would always come to the rescue. “Say..where’s your little friend? Seungmin is it?” Fuck. Jisung smiled nervously as his body moved on it’s own, his shoulders shrugging as his eyes darted around to see if there was any way out of this. Negative._

_“Babe don’t look so tense, I only asked a simple question.” Jisung scoffed as he tried to keep calm though he was obviously failing. “Tae- don’t call me babe. You know I hate it..” The other sighed before pecking Jisung’s cheek, his body shuddering under Taehui’s grasp. “Please don’t touch me..” Jisung’s voice was soft as he tried to move away from the other but he had him cornered. “Jisung come on, anyone with eyes can see the way you look at me. Why are you denying yourself this?”_

_“Please stop..” Jisung’s eyes prickled with tears as his hands tried to push the other away. Taehui scoffed as he gripped Jisung’s wrists with a dark glare. “Jisung what makes you so special hm? Why are you so full of yourself? I’m giving you what you want and you’re acting like a little brat.” Jisung’s lips let a soft sob escape as he shook his head again, his hands trying to break free. “I don’t want this..please just let me go, I won’t say anything.” Taehui growled before attacking Jisung’s neck, his lips placing several kisses as Jisung sobbed. “Tae pl-please..stop. I don’t want this. I want to go home..” His voice was whiny as he tried to keep his sobbing quiet._

_Taehui’s hand moved down Jisung’s body and he just snapped. Jisung’s hands dropped to his side and before he knew it Taehui’s body was on the ground. His neck slit as a crimson pool oozed out. His fingers dropped the knife instantly as they shot to his mouth. His tears stained his cheeks as he stared at what he had done, his body moving to throw up into a potted plant. His body shaking as he sobbed, he just killed someone. He killed Taehui. He looked at his hands as they shook, his hands quickly wiping the blood onto his jeans before running to Hyunjin’s side._

_“Jinnie, please can we go home. I..I can’t stand it here.” His voice was breathy as his whole body shook. Hyunjin seemed shocked at how nervous his boyfriend was but he agreed, Jisung looked as if he had seen a ghost. The two left the house soon after, Hyunjin sighing the whole time but overall was stressed about how Jisung acted. “Babe did something happen? What’s on your jeans?” Jisung’s whole body tensed, his mouth refused to open but thankfully Hyunjin dropped the question. “Something must have happened baby..whenever you’re ready please tell me. I’m worried.”_

_He was worried then but furious once he had found out. Jisung never told him directly, his parents had to tell him that his best friend had taken his life and Jisung had found his body at the party. Hyunjin did notice how shaken up Jisung was but Taehui would never have done something like that in such a public place. Jisung was too conveniently there, he’s always hated him so it made perfect sense. But of course the Hans would cover it up, their son murdering someone wouldn’t look good on them._

_“Why’d you do it Jisung?” Jisung looked up from his drawing book before shriveling into his chair. “You killed him didn’t you? Why’d you do it!?” Jisung’s eyes filled with tears in no time as he looked up at Hyunjin with utter fear in his eyes. “H-he tried to do things I didn’t want. This wasn’t the first time! Hyunjin I’ve told you he’s a creep! I didn’t think..I was defending myself!” Hyunjin growled before screaming back. “Bullshit! You’re insane Jisung! Did it give you a rush!? Did you feel good murdering my best friend!?” Jisung shook his head as he repeated ‘no’ over and over again. “I wasn’t thinking..he was going to take advantage of me..you have to believe me..he would have hurt me!”_

  
  


_“I don’t believe you.”_ | **“I don’t believe you.”**

“You have his blood on your hands Jisung! You’re a fucking murderer and you let your parents cover it all up with their damn money! You _always_ hated Taehui. You’re sick. You’re addicted to drugs, a murderer and a slut. Minho I advise you to never fall for him, you know nothing about him. No one will know him like I do. Jisung is not worth the time of day.” Hyunjin snarled as he cornered Jisung, the other covering his mouth as he softly sobbed to himself. Minho furrowed his eyebrows before pushing Hyunjin away with a frown. “Fuck off Hyunjin! I should’ve kicked you out when I noticed Jisung wasn’t comfortable with you here. Get out of my house.” Hyunjin opened his mouth to protest but Minho beat him to it. “Get out of my fucking house Hyunjin!” His hands shoved Hyunjin’s body out of his kitchen, his face dark as he followed Hyunjin out of his house. Jisung’s body slid down the wall as he slowly made his way to sit on the floor, his shoulders shaking as his head buried into his knees. His hands gripping strands of his hair as he curled into a small ball as his lips released soft sobs. 

Minho sighed as he moved back to his kitchen, his body dropping to Jisung in an instant as his hands moved to rub his back. “Buttercup..” His hands took Jisung’s and slowly released his hair from his grip. “You don’t have to talk to me but baby..let’s try and calm you down.” Jisung lifted his head, his eyebrows furrowing as he tried to catch his breath as sobs choked their way out. “I realize that..that I have a serious problem. I’ve admitted that to myself..and like..” He took small deep breaths as his hands moved to wipe his tears even though more replaced them in seconds. “And..like some people call this a..weakness but..I promise..It’s. It’s so hard, I’m usually the..the strongest person in the world. But when I keep getting..grinded and grinded and just..attacked. It’s so hard...so hard.” His voice was strained as he sobbed into his words. His tears dripping off his chin as his hands gave up on wiping them away.

“The reason..why I just feel so upset is be-..because I’ve taken the first positive step. I’ve actually..like..I’ve come clean and I’ve admitted that. I’ve admitted that I’m really struggling..” His nose scrunched up as he sniffled softly, his eyebrows furrowing together as his eyes gazed to anywhere but meeting Minho’s eyes. “I’m really struggling..my mind has gone places I never thought it would go..I want to just stop the way I’m feeling. I want to..to stop feeling Minho..” He took a heavy exhale as his tears slowed, his cheeks slowly dried but his face was still scrunched up in sadness. “I know..I know I’m so guilty of keeping all my shit to myself. Okay, I know..and I know I need to unload but..” He took in a shaky breath, his eyes finally meeting Minho’s as he spoke. “It’s been building and building and _building._ I felt..I felt as if it was too much to unload on someone at that point. I can’t sleep. I’m constantly anxious. My body just _aches._ No one has been here for me since the start, I have to do everything on my own. I know..I know that’s not true but my _mind._ My mind tells me that over and over and I believe it..”

“It’s so hard..” He sighed as he seemed more calmed down, his eyes soft as tears slowly slipped out. Minho took a deep breath before rubbing his thumbs against the top of Jisung’s hands. “Can I hug you?” His voice was soft as he waited for the answer, instead he just got a small nod. Minho pulled his smaller body into his embrace, his chin resting on Jisung’s head. “Listen..I’m shocked to hear everything about you from Hyunjin but..I understand. I understand not wanting to dump everything onto someone you don’t particularly know as well as someone else but Jisung? I want you to know I’m not going to kick you out or feel any different about you. I love you Jisung..you mean a lot to me in just a short time. Okay? Look at me.” He moved so Jisung could meet his gaze. “Tell me five things you can see right now.” Jisung’s face was shocked but his eyes looked around the room after a bit of thought. “The clock..my coffee mug. Your jacket you threw on the ground..my shoes and..you.” He played with his sweatshirt strings before looking up at Minho again only to sigh once he spoke up. “Four things you can hear.” 

Jisung stopped to listen to the surroundings, his mind wandering from the stress causing his breakdown to focusing on the small sounds of the house. “Clock again..your tv in your room. The coffee maker..and uh..” He furrowed his eyebrows as he strained to hear anything else, his mouth letting a heavy sigh go as he leaned his head against the wall. “Neighbors dog barking..it’s faint though.” Minho hummed before standing up, his hands grabbing his mug as he spoke again. “Three things you can touch.” He leaned against the counter, his lips resting along the edge of his mug as he watched Jisung. “The floor, the wall, and..” He sat up, his fingers wrapping around his own mug with a small smile. “And the warmth of this coffee.”

“Two things you can smell.” Jisung took a deep inhale before smiling into his cup, “Coffee..and you.” Minho almost choked on his coffee as his cheeks dusted a dark red. He pulled his shirt to his nose taking small sniffs with an unreadable expression. “It’s a good smell Min..” Minho smiled nervously before continuing to speak with a soft hum. “One thing you can taste, shouldn’t be hard.” Jisung nodded before drinking his coffee slowly, his eyes closing as he leaned against the fridge. “Thank you..” The elder smiled before pecking Jisung’s cheek, his hand running along his cheek afterwards. “It gets your mind off of the main thing that got you upset. Know you can call me anytime and I’ll guide you through it again okay?” He patted the other’s face before walking to his room, Jisung tailing behind him.

Minho jumped once he noticed Jisung was behind him, their eyes meeting in the mirror next to his door. He turned to Jisung with a smile as he opened his arms for the other to run into. Jisung wasted no time, he buried his head under Minho’s neck with his arms tightly gripping his waist. “Can we just..stay like this for awhile?” Minho wrapped his arms around the other’s body, his lips curling into a smile as his head rested on top of Jisung’s. The two ended up laying under Minho’s covers, Jisung passed out against Minho’s side as he watched tv. His arm running through the blue strands of the other’s hair as he stared lovingly at him. 

“Oh Jisung..I’m so fucking in love with you. And that scares me.”


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the PHATTEST UWUS

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> back at it again, updating both fics aye aye ayyyyyy...i have a paper due tmr

Jisung slept worse than ever now that he knew Minho knew about his secrets he kept to himself so well. He laid awake in his bed day after day unable to close his eyes for long before seeing the scene of Taehui laying on the floor over and over again. He tried to cover up his exhaustion with makeup as he hoped Minho wasn’t noticing anything. He took less hours of work, he couldn’t physically drag himself out of bed anymore. He laid lifelessly as he tried so hard to get some rest without having the repeated nightmare of the man he basically murdered. Self defense or not, his head wouldn’t let it go. 

Minho noticed every shift in Jisung’s mood, he noticed how he’d sit in bed for hours before eventually laying down but not going to sleep. He noticed how he wasn’t working as much and yet he seemed exhausted as if he picked up more hours instead. He couldn’t help but feel half responsible for it, he’s the one that brought Hyunjin and unearthed some secrets he probably was waiting to share. He didn’t know what to do, he was at a loss of words with the way Hyunjin had acted. He watched as Jisung practically broke down each day slowly becoming a lifeless robot stuck in a routine. 

“Jisung, have you ever thought about doing dance?” Jisung’s eyes looked up from where he was blankly staring at before shrugging. “Not really, I don’t think I could be all that good at it.” Minho hummed before sitting next to him, his hand automatically running through his fading blue hair. “I wanna take you to work sometime, just to dance and get your mind off things. No one said you have to be good at it.” Jisung looked over at Minho before smiling slightly, “Sure.” Minho almost squealed as he pulled Jisung off the couch immediately. “Lets go now! Dance apparel, sweats and any shirt you’re comfortable in. Go go!!”

Jisung’s body was pushed into his room with the door shutting behind him. He sighed softly as his lips tugged into a small smile. He changed into ripped jeans and a sweatshirt before walking out, Minho’s face scrunching up as he almost fell to the floor laughing. “Jisung babe-- no no no. You do not want to dance in jeans.” Jisung shrugged before walking towards the door as he grabbed Minho’s keys as he spoke softly. “Why not? It’s what I’m comfortable in.” He looked up at the other before tossing him his keys. “Come on, if you wanna dance then let’s go.” 

* * *

The two walked into an empty room of the dance studio, Jisung staring at himself in the mirror with a small frown as Minho scrolled through his phone to find some music. “Hey Sungie, you know fancy by twice right?” Jisung looked over at Minho before nodding. “Who doesn’t.” Minho smirked before hooking his phone up to the speakers, his hands rolling up his sleeves before staring straight at the younger. “You’re going to learn the dance.” Jisung’s jaw dropped slightly before chuckling softly, “Of course you know the dance.” Minho shook his head before smiling widely. “I don’t! We’re learning it together! Come on, let’s watch the music video a bit and then I can teach us both. Not to brag but I can usually learn a dance by just watching it.” Minho put his hands on his hips as he smirked at his reflection before turning back to Jisung, “What do you say?” 

“I say you’re going to look so dumb but fine. If you wanna teach me to dance, sure, but why start with a _girl group._ ” His voice mocked Minho as his eyes slowly rolled. “You don’t want to start with boy groups as at the level you are, don’t sass me for going easy on you.” He teased softly as his fingers poked at Jisung’s sides, gaining a soft giggle. “Okay fine fine, let’s learn it!” Minho smiled before pulling up the music video, “Which member do you wanna be?” Jisung shrugged before pointing at a random member as the video played. “Who’d I get?” Minho paused the video before cooing softly, “Sana! I think you really fit her actually, that’s it, we’re singing too.” Jisung shook his head rapidly as he backed away, “No, no way. Dancing is as far as you get me.” Minho mouthed ‘sure sure’ before starting the music up after they studied the video a bit, Jisung sitting on the ground as he did the hand movements as he hummed along to the song. 

Before Jisung knew it he was watching Minho dance to the song with full energy, his voice singing along beautifully. It was impressive how he could have such a stable voice while he was putting so much energy into the dance as well. Jisung watched Minho dance over and over again before getting up and joining him. His face scrunched up as he thought of the moves, his body stopping the dance to walk away numerous times as his hands ran through his damp hair. Minho stopped the music once he noticed Jisung had walked away again but instead of coming back he just seemed distressed.

“What’s on your mind babe?” Jisung sighed heavily before looking at Minho with a pout. “I told you I’m bad at dancing and watching you learn it so quickly is annoying.” Minho chuckled before tugging on his shirt to fan himself. “I’m a dance teacher Jisung, of _course_ I’m going to get it quickly. Just watch my body okay? Ignore Sana’s special choreography and just follow mine. Let’s start with the chorus, okay?”

After Jisung agreed Minho stood in front of him as he stared into the mirror at the younger male behind him. “Okay so it starts with the bounce thing, so you tilt your head with this arm pointing out.” He continued to walk through the moves as he stopped to watch Jisung once in awhile with a smile. “I fancy you-- hit that pose on you!” Jisung followed directions well, he didn’t even notice how easy the dance was when Minho was yelling out each move with a grin. “Shoulder shimmy shimmy! On the beat! BOOM BOOM BOOM!” His hands clapped together as Jisung danced to the small clip that was playing with a determined look on his face before his arms dropped to look over at Minho with a sigh. “This is tiring..” Minho chuckled before turning the music off, “Let’s take a break then, we can learn the rest later.”

Jisung lifted his sweatshirt up as he stood next to the fan, his head leaning back as his eyes shut. “Minho how are you not sweating your ass off?” The elder smirked before humming to the song as he started to dance again. “I told you to wear a better outfit, I tried to warn you babe.” Jisung mocked his words as he repeated them in a higher tone. “I tried to warn you babe.” Minho smiled before turning towards Jisung, “Fine. Break is up! Back to dancing, the sass screwed you over.” Jisung gasped before dropping his top with a groan. 

“Put your hands together and move your hips, I know you’ve watched me do it thousands of times so just follow me. Right, left, right..And then do the hand signal and go like this.” He played the music and went through the moves with a smile. “Bring your hand up when it goes what. So, what- fancy! Hips go left, right, left. Move your hand above your head then flip your hands and bring them down!” Minho watched as Jisung did the dance with the music slowly, his face full of determination as his eyebrows furrowed as sweat ran down the sides of his face. “Point to the side for four beats then move your hands to your waist and flick.. and do this with your feet. Boom boom. Turn and do the same on the other side. Fancy youu- same choreography and then to finish the chorus you tap your thighs in an alternating order then your waist up to your shoulders. Put your hands like this as if there was a plate on them then put your hands back into the fancy position, one upside down and one normal. Flick them back and forth to the rhythm so--” He moved his hands as he spoke, his eyes glued to Jisung. “Fan. Cy.” He looked at Jisung before blowing a kiss, his lips tugging into a smile afterwards. “You!”

Jisung’s cheeks dusted a light pink with the kiss, it was playful and for the song but he couldn’t help but get flustered. “Jisung, you try okay? You can do whatever you really want with the 'you' part, you can do the weird explosion looking thing from your head, you know..make it your own. I’m going to get us some water, work on the chorus okay? The music's over there, play it until you get it and you’re comfortable about it.” Minho left the room leaving Jisung to stare at himself in the mirror before he moved to Minho’s phone. It was open to the music though he was curious as to what his background was, his thumb clicking the home button before his lips curled up upon seeing his own face. It was a photo of the two they took recently, Minho’s lips pressed against his cheek as they took the photo. He looked so happy, his mouth open wide with a huge grin as Minho kissed his cheek. It was a good photo. 

Minho had gotten water and some food though when he came back he didn’t hear music, all he saw was Jisung standing with his phone in his hand grinning. Minho put the things down before wrapping his arms around Jisung’s waist and picking him up. “Whatcha doing!?” Jisung gasped as he clutched Minho’s phone to his chest. “Nothing!” Minho hummed before putting the younger down as he grabbed his phone as his other arm still wrapped around the others waist. “Oh, it’s a cute photo isn’t it?” He smiled as he pecked Jisung’s cheek, his hands rubbing the other’s shoulders. “Did you practice at all?” Jisung smiled with a guilty look as he shivered with Minho’s kiss, “I’ll practice now, watch me okay? Tell me where I mess up.” 

Minho nodded as he watched Jisung dance to the chorus, he messed up a few times but he went and started the music over until he got it right. He watched his body in the mirror as he hit the moves, his hand moving to his lips as he blew a kiss to Minho once the music blared ‘you!’. Minho smiled before standing up to stand next to Jisung. “You did so great babe..!” He smiled as he cupped Jisung’s face, their noses rubbing against each other before he moved away with a grin. “How do you feel now Sungie?” Jisung fanned himself before speaking up with a grin. “Really good, tired but that felt good to get my mind off of things.” Minho’s lips curled up before sitting down, his hand tugging at Jisung’s shirt. “Here, let's get you fed before work.” 

The two sat and ate together talking softly, Minho getting up before Jisung finished and started to dance to the song again. Jisung watched mesmerized before jumping when his phone rang with his alarm. “Fuck Minho I have work like-- _now_!” Minho turned to him before turning the music off, “Don’t stress I can get you there and have Felix drop off your uniform. Okay? Don’t worry babe.” Minho put his phone to his ear as he spoke softly, his hand holding Jisung’s into his. He didn’t let go of his hand as he drove, their fingers intertwined together as they drove in silence. Felix was standing outside the cafe with a smile as he offered Jisung his uniform as he eyed their intertwined fingers. “You guys are so cute with your cute hand holding~. Just date already.” Jisung laughed nervously before pulling his hand away as he grabbed his uniform from Felix. “Thanks, see you after work Min.” 

He walked into the cafe trying to keep his cool as he went to clock in. Seungmin raised his eyebrow at his outfit along with the slight sweat on his forehead. “Jisung did you run here? Why are you out of uniform and sweaty? I could have just covered for you and you could have just came in late.” Jisung shrugged as he moved to the break room to change. Seungmin stood by the door as he watched for people, “So what has you so late anyways?” Jisung ran his fingers through his hair before turning to look at the other. “I was dancing with Minho.” 

“Oh my good roommate boyyy!!! Jisung and Minho are practically sucking their faces off- I’ll call it..Minsung.” Jisung groaned before hitting Seungmin’s arm with a frown, “Shut up, we are _not_ sucking our faces off. You and Felix are so annoying, Minho doesn’t like me like that. We’re just friends and besides, Hyunjin opened his big fucking mouth so there’s no way.” Seungmin hummed before they walked out and started to work, Jisung moving to start taking orders only to groan once he noticed Minho and Felix sat together at a table. “Minho you’re not allowed to stay my whole shift again, anyways what do you wanna have?” Felix looked over the menu before looking up and down Jisung, “Minho how have you _not_ gotten into those jeans? Just look at him.” Jisung frowned as he hit Felix’s head with his notepad, “Felix oh my god, shut up. If you don’t order something I’m going to leave you to starve.” 

Jisung’s cheeks heated as Minho’s eyes moved from the menu to Jisung with a smile. “Jisung’s special please.” Seungmin whistled before yelling to the chef. “Jisung’s favorite~! It’s for his sexy boyfriend who he claims is _just_ his friend.” Jisung took a deep breath before looking over at Felix as he shifted his weight. “Are you on the menu Sungie? I’m asking for Minho.” Felix smiled innocently as he covered his head as Jisung grabbed the menu with a frown. “I wish I could hit you with this and still have a job afterwards. Felix I’m leaving and you’re not getting anything.” He walked away as Felix snickered softly. “Okay but Minho just look at that ass-” Minho shook his head as he pushed the younger away. “Felix quit it, we don’t see each other like that.” Jisung brought Minho the order before turning away ignoring the younger male that sat with Minho. 

Minho moved to the bar once Felix left as he waited for Jisung to get off work. “Hey Seungmin- Psst..” Seungmin looked over at the man calling his name with a small smile. “Oh my gosh, what’s up Minho? Need some advice on my best friend? How to get him all flustered or what to say to get him to fall in love with you?” Minho chuckled softly, “No actually I wanted to learn more about Hyunjin and their relationship. Though it’s a bad place to talk so here, this is my number.” Minho grabbed a napkin before writing down his number and sliding it to Seungmin. “I wish I could ask him myself but he doesn’t seem ready to talk about it but I wish I could understand him better you know?” Seungmin smiled as he folded up the napkin and slid it into his pocket. “You know Minho, I wouldn’t be mad if you two ended up dating. I’m not teasing you guys, I generally think you two would be good for each other. Jisung really needs someone like you to show him just how much he’s loved.” 

Minho smiled as he shyly rubbed the back of his neck, “For now I think I can do that by just being his friend.” Seungmin hummed before pulling Jisung into a tight hug as he walked past. “Jisung, I love you. I don’t think you hear that enough.” Jisung smiled before nuzzling into the other’s embrace. “I love you too Seungmin. You’re my best friend, I don’t know what I’d do without you.” Jisung pouted as he noticed who was sitting at the bar. “Minho go _home._ You have work in the morning don’t you? I get off earlier than usual but it still doesn’t give you much sleep.” He shooed Minho away but he didn’t budge. “I’m your ride home Jisung.” Jisung groaned heavily as he puffed his cheeks up with a frown, air slowly spilling out as he sighed slowly. “I’m tired..” Seungmin nodded as he rubbed Jisung’s back slowly, “Not going to lie babe, you look like shit. Have you been having trouble sleeping?” Without thinking Jisung nodded, his hands moving to rub his eyes with a deep exhale. 

“Jisung hey, why didn’t you say something?” Minho leaned over the bar before gently caressing his face. “Listen, I think you should come home early and get some sleep. We can pick up some sleep medication if you’re having issues okay?” Jisung looked at the clock before looking back at Minho, “I dunno..” Seungmin sighed before undoing the other’s apron. “Just go home Sungie, I can take care of this. You look exhausted.” Jisung hummed before grabbing his things from the break room, his body leaning against Minho’s back as his arms instinctively went around his waist. His head nuzzled into the crook of his neck as his cheek squished against his back. “Jisung baby..you look so tired.” The younger whined as he buried his head into Minho’s neck, “I try so hard to sleep but I just can’t... Insomnia’s a bitch.” 

Minho turned to face the other before moving his arms under Jisung as he scooped him up in his arms. Seungmin squealed as he took a few photos before giggling. “Look at Jisung getting all cuddly with Minho~” Minho chuckled before walking to the car before gently putting his body into the car. He drove home, looking over at Jisung once he parked into his driveway. “Get some rest, baby..” He leaned over as he ran his fingers through the light blue strands. “We should dye your hair again, but only when you don’t look so exhausted.” Jisung hummed in response before slowly getting out of the car. 

He took his uniform off before putting on a large hoodie on, his body crawling into bed as he stared at the wall blankly. He started to close his eyes but the images just started up again, his mouth forming a frown as he whined softly. Minho peaked into his room, his eyebrows furrowing as Jisung tossed and turned as he cried softly. “Jisung..” He sat on the edge of his bed as his hand ran along his arm as the others eyes slowly opened, tears forming in the corners. “Sungie..come here babe.” Minho sat Jisung up as he rubbed his back slowly. “Don’t cry..here, move over a little.” Jisung scooted over as Minho got into his bed, his arms wrapping around Jisung as he pulled his body into his chest. Minho ran his fingers through Jisung’s hair as he softly spoke to the other, his lips brushing against his ear.

“You danced so well today, I’m proud of you for continuing to try even though you kept getting frustrated. I hope you enjoy dancing as much as I do..you’re free to tag along anytime.” Jisung hummed as he nuzzled his head into Minho as he slowly closed his eyes. “Mmhm..shut up..” Minho chuckled before placing a kiss onto Jisung’s cheek. “Sweet dreams buttercup.” Jisung fell asleep slowly, Minho ran his hand through his hair as he watched the other with a slight smile. Minho ended up falling asleep along with Jisung, the two peacefully lying next to each other as they cuddled into each other’s embrace. 

Jisung’s mouth turned into a frown as he whined softly, his fingers gripping the fabric of Minho’s shirt as his eyes tightened. Minho’s eyes opened slowly before quickly running his fingers through Jisung’s hair as his face screwed up with fear. “Baby..wake up..hey” He gently rubbed Jisung’s arms, his fingers moving to massage his shoulders along to his neck. His touch eventually waking up the other, his eyes shot open before closing again slowly as he hummed softly. His shoulders relaxed as Minho’s fingers rubbed along his jawline. “Just relax Jisung..you’re alright. No one can hurt you, you’re safe and sound babe.” Jisung sniffled softly as he pulled the blanket up to his chin. “Don’t leave me alone..” His voice wavered as his lip quivered, a small tear streaming down his cheek. Minho frowned before wiping his thumb along his cheek. “Never. I’ll always be by your side.” 

Minho ran his hands along Jisung’s back, his fingers massaging his back before lifting up his shirt to massage his bare skin. Jisung hummed in content as he hugged his pillow with a smile. “Just relax and go back to sleep. I won’t leave your side until I have to go to work.” Jisung nodded before burying his head into his blankets. “I wanna come with..” Minho smiled as he ran his fingers along the small of Jisung’s back as he cooed softly. “Yeah..? Get some rest then buttercup. Dancing tires you out, don’t overwork yourself just because you wanna come to work with me.” Jisung’s eyes fluttered closed as he enjoyed the feeling of Minho’s hands running along his back. He eventually fell asleep, Minho removing his hands from the younger’s back as he got up to get ready for work. He looked back at the peaceful male as he slept with a smile, “I love you Jisung.”

He got into a comfortable outfit for dance and was about to leave the house when he noticed just how happy Jisung looked while sleeping. He bit his lip before grabbing his phone and opening the group chat of his dance team he coached. ‘Hey guys I can’t come in right now, my roommate is having a mental breakdown and I wanna be there for him.’ The group responded with positivity as he tossed his phone onto the couch, his body slipping back next to Jisung as his arms wrapped around him. He pulled Jisung to his chest as he nuzzled his head into the crook of his neck, their bodies pressed against each other as Minho rested his eyes. Their breathing syncing as they slept together without one single nightmare for Jisung.

Jisung woke up slowly, his hands caressing the arms around him before turning around to face Minho. His hair falling on his face perfectly as he slept soundly next to him. He smiled before rubbing their noses against each other. “Hey sleepyhead..” Jisung’s voice was soft as Minho’s eyes slowly opened, his eyelashes fluttering. “Hey buttercup.” He smiled back, his voice low and raspy as he rubbed his eyes before moving his hand to brush Jisung’s hair away from his eyes. “Did you catch up on some sleep? You looked really peaceful.” The younger nodded before looking over at the clock. “Minnie- you’re late for work.” He sat up with a pout as he moved his blanket off his body as he began to get up from bed but Minho’s arm tugged him down. 

“I called in, I wanted to stay with you.” Jisung laid back down with a soft hum before turning to face Minho again. “I was serious though..before I mean. When I said I wanted to go to work with you. I liked learning how to dance something with you, maybe I could join your class.” Minho smiled before pushing the other’s bangs back before kissing his forehead before resting them together. “Not to offend you babe but my class is no beginner course. I can refer you to my friend and you can join in on his. Sound good?” Jisung nodded before sighing contently. “Okay.”

* * *

Jisung walked into the dance studio with a nervous look as he looked around the room at all the new people. Minho had thankfully laid out an outfit for him to wear to avoid wearing jeans and getting overheated. He nibbled his lip as the teacher walked up to him before smiling sweetly. “Hi, you’re Jisung right? I’m Minho’s friend Wooyoung. Welcome to the team.” His hand stretched out for Jisung to take it as his smile never faded.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the one that gets a lil ~saucy~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> for the references in this chapter, if you would like to see what i'm trying to explain feel free to take a look
> 
> Jisung's dance audition ( double knot ): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vdZQE60oBdw  
> Jisung's New Face cover: https://twitter.com/gayskz/status/1106909381122289670
> 
> enjoy our lil hannie ! uwu

Jisung enjoyed dancing, he really did. He ended up taking less hours just so he could go more often and not be so stressed about time. He fell in love with it, it was something he could do that would clear his mind so easily. He found joy walking into the dance studio. He wouldn’t say he was skilled at dancing but he really enjoyed learning, Wooyoung was so kind and never gave up on anyone. It was admirable to have such patience and care for someone to never give up on them. Jisung became friends with him so easily, his heart skipping a beat whenever he’d see him.

“Wooyoung!” Jisung ran to the other before hopping onto his back as his arms wrapped around his neck. His head snuggled into the his neck as his legs were hoisted up to wrap around Wooyoung's waist. “Hey Jisung, you’re sure energetic today. Better use that in your dancing!” Jisung nodded before hopping off, his smile shy as he looked up at the elder with his large doe eyes. Wooyoung stared back before sighing softly as he ruffled Jisung’s hair. “I practiced a lot with Minho yesterday and I wanna show you.” Jisung smiled brightly, his head leaning into the other’s hand. “I’d love to see.” Jisung pulled his phone out before turning the music on, his body moving to in front of the mirror. His eyes stared at his reflection before he started to dance. His moves were fluid and well done, Wooyoung smiled as he watched the boy dance.

He used to be a clumsy boy that would get frustrated when he couldn’t remember the choreograph they were working on. He was always way too shy to dance in front of others which resulted in him standing in the back and staying late to practice on his own. Wooyoung didn’t even think Minho knew about it until recently. Though, the change in the male’s confidence amazed him, Jisung wasn’t opposed to demonstrate for the class or even practice before the others came and have them walk in as he danced. He watched as Jisung’s facials improved over time, he was becoming such a good performer so quickly. Minho must have helped him a lot.

Jisung looked back at Wooyoung as his shoulders rose and fell as he tried to catch his breath. “Did I do good?” Wooyoung put two thumbs up before hugging the other close to his chest. “You’ve improved so much Jisung. I’m so proud of you.” Jisung gripped the elder's shirt as his head rested against his chest. His eyes looking up after a while. “My end goal is to get as talented as the people in Minho’s group. Not to leave you but just to be able to be on that _level_.” Wooyoung hummed before lifting Jisung’s chin up. “You already are at such a level, you can switch over all you’d like. In fact I could probably pull some strings and get you an audition later in the week.” 

Jisung’s eyes lit before jumping up with excitement. “Oh my gosh really!? We have to pick out a song and..and oh my gosh I have to practice my ass off!” Jisung bit his lip as his hands ran through his hair, his face perplexed as he tried to think of a dance he was confident in. “Jisung why don’t you do your New Face cover for your audition?” Wooyoung smiled before looking at the other in the reflection of the mirror. “Or you can do that dance you made up to double knot? That really shows how talented you are, your sharpness and your facials. Jisung you’re _really_ good.” Jisung smiled before shaking his head as his cheeks heated up. “I have a great teacher.” He nudged the elder's arm before moving to stand amongst the rest of the group.

Wooyoung had set up an audition time for Jisung, he had chosen his own dance to double knot. It seemed to be more impressive to try out with a dance no one has done before since he was the one who created it. He danced for hours after the class with Wooyoung, his hair sticking to his forehead along with his shirt to his body. His eyes narrowed as he repeated the dance over and over again until he felt that he did it to his best ability. He didn’t even notice Minho standing in the door frame as he chugged down his water, his eyes only caught a glimpse of him causing his body to jump. Minho chuckled before moving from his spot, “You seem to really enjoy dancing. Little bird told me you’re auditioning for my group tomorrow morning?” Jisung nodded with a proud smile, his hand wiping the water from his chin before pushing his hair back with soft pants. “I even made my own choreography. Well, Wooyoung helped a lot with making it all work but most of it was my ideas.” Minho hummed before wrapping his arm around Jisung’s shoulders. “I’m excited to see it then, now come on. You shouldn’t over practice, you’ll be way too tired once the audition comes around if you keep it up.” 

Jisung nodded before wiping his forehead with a towel as he walked out of the room after Minho. “Are you nervous for tomorrow?” Jisung hesitated for a bit before shaking his head with a grin, “Actually I’m really excited. I’m proud of this dance. Though, I will miss Wooyoung. He really helped me improve so much.” Minho smiled as he studied the other’s face before letting out a deep breath. “I’m proud of you.” Jisung blinked as he tried to think of what the elder had meant. “Proud of what?”

“I’m proud of you for finding a coping mechanism that isn’t harmful to your body. Jisung, I’m so proud of how you’ve been doing.” Jisung’s lips parted as he stopped in his tracks, his eyes watering as he thought about it. His hand quickly wiped his eyes as he caught up to the other with a shy look. “You’re proud of me?” Minho looked over before brushing the stray hairs away from Jisung’s face. “Every single day. Jisung, I really am _so_ proud of you. Seeing you so happy, it makes me feel so at ease. It makes me feel like I’m doing something for at least one person.” Jisung’s heart skipped as he smiled brightly. “Minho you’ve done everything for me, I don’t know what I’d do without you.” Minho chuckled before sliding his fingers in between the others. “Probably die.” 

“Oh most likely.”

* * *

Jisung rushed through the house as he hummed softly, Minho watched the younger run around before tilting his head as he noticed the outfit he was wearing. “Jeans..” Jisung looked up from his phone before smiling. Minho shook his head as he grabbed two water bottles, offering one to the younger. “Excited babe?” Jisung nodded as he grabbed the bottle before mumbling the lyrics to the song he used, his hands moving slightly to the dance. “Change out of your jeans please- that is not dancing apparel.” Jisung clicked his tongue before starting to leave the house. “Nu uh! Come on Minnie! Hurry, I don’t wanna be late!” Minho pulled the younger close to his body as he frowned. “Slow down Sungie, you need to eat something. You woke up early babe, the studio isn’t open for another hour.” Jisung sighed before sitting at the table with a pout.

“You’re adorable.” Minho opened his fridge before moving to let Jisung look too. “What are you feeling for this morning?” Jisung hummed before tilting his head as his eyes scanned the fridge. “Mmm, pancakes?” Minho smiled before grabbing the ingredients. He mixed up the batter, his finger sticking into it before turning slowly. “Hey Sungie?” Jisung hummed in response without looking up from his phone. Minho smirked before tilting the other’s face up as his finger wiped the batter along his nose. “Hey!” Minho snickered as they ran around the kitchen in a fit of giggles. Jisung jumped onto the elder’s back before wiping batter onto his cheek with a dark grin. The two played around, in the end Jisung ended up pinned to the counter as Minho hovered over him. Their eyes stared back at each other before Minho laughed nervously, his body moving away as he pulled Jisung up. “I’m going to the bathroom.” Jisung retreated to the bathroom, his body sliding down the closed door with a soft sigh. Minho mixed the rest of the batter, then moving to pour it onto the frying pan with dark red cheeks. 

Jisung covered his cheeks before pouting at himself into the mirror. “Oh my god..what if we ended up kissing? Would I be able to stop myself from just losing it..? Oh god what if we just ended up making out? Thank the lords above we didn’t..I can’t go into another relationship. I’ll fuck it up I just know it.” He sighed heavily before walking back out, his teeth nibbling on his nail as he watched Minho work into the kitchen. Minho turned with a smile as he placed their plates onto the table. “Eat up my dancing machine. Big day for you.” Jisung nodded as he started eating, his cheeks puffing up as he shoveled food into his mouth. “Jisung, slow down.” Minho’s voice was stern as he furrowed his eyebrows.

Jisung looked up as he chewed slowly, Minho’s stern look vanishing in seconds as he looked at his doe eyes. His cheeks puffy as he ate as his wide eyes stared up at Minho. “Aw baby..” Minho cooed softly as he grabbed a fork before cutting himself a piece of Jisung’s food. Jisung looked over at the clock before humming softly. “Ready to go then?” The younger nodded as he got up from his spot, his hands shoving into his jeans pockets before sighing softly. “Nervous?” The other nodded slowly before smiling slightly. “Still not too late to change out of your jeans you know..” Minho’s voice trailed off as he rolled his eyes upon hearing Jisung’s response. “I feel comfortable in jeans!” 

Minho sighed as he looked over Jisung’s outfit, “At least wear ripped jeans next time.. so you can have air flow.” Jisung shrugged as he walked out of the house, his teeth nibbling his bottom lip nervously. “Jisung you’ll do great. I can’t wait to see you dance, I’m sure everyone will love you and you’ll make the team.” The statement rang through Jisung’s head as he stood in front of the group, a table set up in the back where two others sat next to Minho with clipboards in their hands. He nibbled his fingernails as he stared at the females next to Minho as they talked softly. His whole body tensed once more students walked in with surprised looks. “Ohh right it’s audition day!” They moved to the back of the room, sitting next to the table with eager looks. All their eyes staring at Jisung, his teeth still biting his nails as he nervously looked among the others. 

“Alright, name please then you can give us a small intro.” Minho looked up from his clipboard before smiling widely with a thumbs up. Jisung pulled away from biting his nail before taking a deep breath. “I’m Han Jisung..I made this dance with my friend. The same friend who recommended I try out for this.” His eyes looked over at Minho gaining a wink from the other. The girl next to Minho smiled before pushing her hair over her shoulder, “Alright Jisung, you may start whenever you’re ready! Just focus on your dance, don’t worry about us three writing things down okay?” Jisung nodded as he started the music, the dance was rather simple in the beginning though he remembered what Wooyoung had advised him to do when he showed him. _‘They’ll see it as easy so make sure you capture them with your facials, most dancers at this level struggle with focusing on both.’_

Jisungs eyebrows furrowed as he used all his energy to focus on both, his lips lip singing to the song as he danced. His eyes focusing on the wall behind the judges, way too nervous to make eye contact with them. Minho watched with a small grin, his pen resting along his lips. His eyes watching how smooth Jisung was moving into each of the moves. He bit lips lip once Jisung had ended up on the floor, it was a dance move he wasn’t entirely expecting from the younger. His eyes studied his posture before stopping on the hem of his jeans, moving down slowly. His air caught in his throat as he noticed for the quick second that Jisung was doing the move, Jisung had an _amazing_ ass. Minho rubbed his forehead as he shifted in his seat with a soft groan, this was not the time to be noticing such features. He took a breath before looking back up only to watch as Jisung rolled his head back, his jawline staring right back at Minho. 

Minho shifted into his seat as he ran his hand nervously through his hair, his free hand writing down notes before peeking up at the rest of the dance. He was impressed, Jisung moved from such a smooth like dance to high energy in a matter of seconds. He hit the moves with such aggression and his facials were captivating. He was so on beat it was obvious he practiced every single move until it was perfect. Once Jisung was finished his breath echoed through the room as he panted to himself. He looked at the three sitting at the table, his head tilting as he noticed the look on Minho’s face. The girls talked softly before writing down notes then turning to Minho. “Alright Jisung thank you for that amazing performance. We’ll let you know by tomorrow.” Jisung nodded before turning to leave with a small smile. The class clapped for him then went back to the normal class as the three talked over the performance. 

“Minho we thought he would be a really good fit for your varsity group, ours is full and besides..he was so breathtaking. He deserves to be in the highest group, he impressed us since he came from Wooyoung’s beginner group.” Minho nodded as he shifted his weight in his chair with a soft hum. His hand running along his thigh before leaning his head back with a deep sigh. The girls left as Minho read over their notes before smiling to himself. “Alright guys, if you don’t mind we can just cancel class. I think we all need a personal day after working so hard last time.” The class cheered before running out of the room leaving Minho sitting in his chair with a soft hum of relief. His hand slipped under his sweatpants band, his lips parting as his head leaned back against the wall. His lips released soft deep groans as his hand moved along with his hips as he stroked down his length before taking his hand out with a breathy sigh. “Just ignore it Minho...Jisung is just a friend.” He stood up before moving to washing his hands, his cheeks dark red as they burned with embarrassment. 

He ruffled his hair as he walked out of the room, his ears picking up music down the hall with a curious look. Wooyoung’s group didn’t practice this early in the morning so who could be dancing? He peeked into the room before groaning to himself as he rested his head onto the frame. Of course it was Jisung, but not just any Jisung it had to be Jisung dancing _shirtless._ Minho face palmed himself mentally as he rolled his head back with a dark frown. “Fuck.” Jisung’s body glistened almost as sweat ran down his neck as he danced to the music, Minho recognized the song. He sighed to himself as he pictured Jisung dancing without even looking at him already had him bothered. “Psy’s New Face..” The music stopped as Jisung stood next to him with a small smile. “Hey.” Minho jumped before smiling back at the other. “Oh hey, guess what?” Jisung blinked before waiting for Minho to continue. “You made my dance team babe!” Jisung’s face lit up as he ran into the dance studio with a squeal. “Hell yeah!”

Minho chuckled as he walked in after the younger, his body plopping to sit onto the floor as he watched Jisung’s body jump around. His shirt tossed to the side leaving nothing to the imagination, his tattooed arms in full view. His muscles were all Minho could focus on before Jisung’s voice took his attention. “Minho!” Minho looked up with a nervous smile before ruffling his hair, “Huh yeah?” Jisung quirked his eyebrow before shaking it off as he continued to speak. “Watch me dance!” He smiled widely before turning on the music, he didn’t dance most of it actually. He ended up singing along as he stretched in the middle of the room, Minho in the corner trying to keep himself occupied and trying his best to not get all hot and bothered by the sight in front of him. Jisung stopped singing once the chorus came, his focus shifting to the dance which wasn’t helping Minho’s process in the slightest.

Minho pulled his knees to his chest as he felt his pants tighten as Jisung’s teeth shined in a huge box grin as his hips thrusted to the music. He blessed the gods for having Jisung just jump around for the rest of the chorus, his voice echoing as he sang along with the music. He groaned to himself as Jisung went back to dancing, his teeth biting his bottom lip as his hips moved as if he had no idea how well he was doing. Jisung finished with soft pants before turning to Minho with a grin as he sat next to him. “What's going through your mind over there?” His finger tapped Minho’s temple before tilting his head to get a better look at the other. “Minho?” Minho took a deep breath in before pulling Jisung’s head close to his as their lips crashed together. He couldn’t help it, he just had to show Jisung how he felt about him. He didn’t know if it was because his hormones were taking over his body but he felt at ease as Jisung kissed back. The younger cupped Minho’s cheeks before gently pulling away as he stood up slowly. 

Minho cleared his throat as he looked down at the floor. Jisung nibbled his lip before pulling Minho’s body up. “Min.” Minho looked up to meet Jisung’s eyes before looking away quickly. “I- I’m sorry I don’t know what I was thinking.” Jisung giggled softly before pecking Minho’s lips, his arms wrapping around his neck. “Minho it’s fine. I kissed back didn’t I?” Minho hummed before holding Jisung’s face as his lips pressed against Jisung’s again and again, his lips eventually moving to his neck as he pushed his body against the mirror. Their kisses became heated as Minho’s hands moved from Jisung’s face, wandering down his body as he picked him up. His hands lifted up Jisung’s legs before wrapping them around his waist. Jisung leaned his head back against the mirror, Minho’s hand massaged between the younger’s legs as his lips marked up his neck. His eyes opened as the familiar sense of fear flooded his body, Jisung’s lips letting out a soft whine as he gripped Minho’s shirt. “M-Minho..wait-” 

Minho lifted his head from Jisung’s neck to meet eyes full of fear. He moved his hand in a second as he studied Jisung’s face, “Hey..hey babe what’s wrong?” Minho’s voice was soft as he slowly put Jisung’s body down. Jisung took shaky breaths as he gripped the fabric of his shirt tightly. “I’m fine..I just.” He bit his lip before running his hand through his hair before smiling slightly. “I’m fine.” Minho frowned before backing up to give Jisung space, his eyes studying the other as he rubbed his tattooed arms nervously. “You don’t have to be fine, you can cry or even feel uncomfortable, Jisung. I..I apologize. I wasn’t thinking.” Jisung swallowed hard before pulling Minho into a hug, his arms shaking as his fingers gripped the other’s hair. 

The two stayed in the embrace for what seemed like forever before Jisung spoke up softly. “Don’t apologize Minho..I kind of wanted it too but..” He nibbled his lip before shaking his head with a look of utter nervousness. “The bad memories just came boiling up. I'm sorry- I’m not really for this yet. No matter how much I may want it, I’m not ready.” Minho smiled before shaking his head, his hand running along Jisung’s cheek as he hummed. “That’s perfectly fine. We don’t have to do anything. Being your friend is a pleasure enough for me.” Jisung flinched at the word friend before thinking about it deeper, it was probably for the best. He nodded before noticing the bulge sticking from Minho’s sweatpants, his cheeks burning as he looked back up at Minho. “Well..” He shrugged before shifting his weight. “Eyes closed.”

Minho’s eyes widened for a bit before closing slowly, his eyebrows furrowing with a curious look. Jisung’s hands moved his body, Minho followed along with Jisung moving his body until he was leaning against the mirror like Jisung was moments before. “Can I open my eyes now?” Jisung bit his lip before shaking his head, “No.” He moved to kneel down, his fingers gripped the band of his sweatpants before slowly tugging them down slightly. Minho slid his tongue along his lip as he felt the cold air hit his length, his mouth parting open as Jisung’s lips wrapped around him. “Ji-” He leaned his head back with soft groans as Jisung continued, his head bobbing slowly before quickening his pace. Minho had lost it, his fingers ran through the strands of Jisung’s hair. His groans pitched up before gripping the strands as he bit his lip. “Jisung hold on- I don’t want to cum in your mouth..” Jisung’s cheeks painted a dark red as he slowly pulled off with quick pants, his mouth being wiped with the back of his hand as he looked away embarrassed. He couldn’t believe he even did such a thing, let alone in a public place. Minho let out a deep breath as he recomposed himself.

Jisung took a deep breath as he stood up with a look of shame. “Um, let’s forget that ever happened.” Minho chuckled softly as he looked over at Jisung before offering him his shirt. “Here, you’ll catch a cold if you stay shirtless.” Jisung took his shirt before pulling it over his head with a slight pout. “Jisung?” The younger looked over at Minho as he nervously nibbled his finger nails, “Huh yeah?” Minho smiled before offering his hand, Jisung intertwined his fingers into the elder’s instantly as they started to walk out of the dance studio. “I’m so proud of you..” Jisung furrowed his eyebrow as he tried to think of what Minho was proud of this time. “You keep saying that. Proud of me for what? Sucking your di-” Minho’s hand moved to cover Jisung’s lips with a soft nervous chuckle. “No-- No. I’m proud of you for making the team. Proud of you for letting me in and take care of you at your lowest. And..Jisung? I’m so proud of you for stopping me earlier. I wouldn’t have forgiven myself if I hurt you.” 

Jisung squeezed Minho’s hand before gently kissing his cheek. “You could never hurt me. The only way you could possibly do such a thing is by leaving my side. You got that?” Minho smiled before looking over at the other. “I won’t ever leave. You're stuck with me babe, promise.” Jisung turned to stand in front of the other, stopping in front of him. “You promise?” Minho nodded as he pecked Jisung’s hand before tilting his head with a grin. “I said promise didn’t I?” Jisung licked his lips before quickly kissing Minho’s lips before resting their foreheads together. “Seal the deal.” 

“Consider it sealed.” And with that said, their lips gently met.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i have some regrets but not many. pls dear god never let skz see this


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the one where minho is a horny bastard

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is for sarah

Jisung was content to say the least though Minho seemed on edge. He seemed to be waking up later and later now that the dance season seemed to be on break. Jisung didn’t mind all that much, he liked the alone time to himself in the mornings before Minho would slump up out of his room for the day. Today was one of those days, Jisung sat on the window sill in his room with a cup of hot chocolate in his hands as he stared out the window contently. His mind was cleared of his worries and was free to wander wherever it pleased, the back of his mind wondering what Minho spent his mornings doing since he was free of work for the time being. 

Minho laid in his bed with a soft sigh, his hands pushing away his hair as he wiped away his sweat slowly. He’s been having the same exact dream over and over again, he didn’t know how to feel about it though. Jisung was his _friend,_ he shouldn’t be having these recurring dreams about what would have happened in the dance studio if Jisung didn’t stop him. He took a deep breath before lifting his blanket as his eyes rolled back with a groan. The tent in his sweatpants mocking him as he dropped the sheets again. “Fucking hell..” Ever since he had Jisung pinned to the mirror with their lips aggressively pressing against each other, their bodies grinding along in a rhythm-- His lips parted as he tilted his head back with a soft gasp of air as his length sprung from his pants as his fingers wrapped around himself slowly. 

His eyebrows furrowed as his hand began stroking himself with a small arch to his back. It became a routine at a point, waking up from the same dream of Jisung in the dance studio and then having to take care of his hard on before dragging his body out of his room to awkwardly face the very man he got off to. Luckily, Jisung respected his space very nicely and never seemed too curious about his late mornings. He doesn’t know what came over him, he has no idea how to stop himself from having this same dream every night. He’s tried completely zonking out on sleep medication but he still ended up waking up in the morning then zoning out and the dream creeps in all over again. 

His eyes stared up at his ceiling as his hand tightened his grip, quickening his pace as a soft moan slipped out. The feeling of Jisung’s body against his playing with his mind as it replayed the scene over and over. The sound of Jisung’s content sighs as his lips marked up his neck ringing in his ears. Minho rolls his hips into his hand as he continued to touch himself with small groans, his teeth biting his lips trying to muffle every sound possible. His free hand grabbed some tissues as his back arched, his hand massaging his sensitive head before moving to cum with a breathy moan. His tongue licking his lips as he softly panted before cleaning himself up. His body limply laying on his bed, his blanket resting along his leg as he lazily stayed put. 

“Fuck.” He moved to get up, his hand moving his dick back into his sweatpants with a deep sigh. Minho went to change his clothes slowly. His body dragged itself out of his room as he looked around for Jisung though he was nowhere to be seen. He let out a sigh of relief before sitting down on the couch with his head leaned back, a deep slow groan leaving his lips as his mind wandered to what he just did. His hand rubbed his forehead before jumping as he met eye contact with Jisung. 

“Morning sleepypants. It’s like, noon. This is a new record. Though, all jokes aside..are you hungry?” Minho smiled before nodding slowly, “Yeah..starving.” Jisung smiled as he walked into the kitchen with soft hums. “What was the groaning for earlier? Did you not sleep well?” Minho chuckled to himself as his eyes moved to his pants before looking back up towards the other. “Something like that.” Jisung looked over worriedly before looking back at what he was making. “Here, come and eat.” Minho got up, his lips curling into a grin as he looked at what Jisung had made. “Ramen?”

Jisung’s giggle rang through the air causing Minho to smile to himself. “I’m a world class chef if I do say so myself.” He puffed his chest out with a proud smirk as Minho shook his head starting to eat. Jisung rested his head into his hands as he watched Minho slurp up the noodles before swooning softly. “You’re really handsome.” His voice was soft but loud enough for them both to hear it through the silence between the two of them. Minho hummed before picking up some of his ramen before offering it to Jisung, his hand under the fork as he moved to Jisung’s lips. He opened his mouth as Minho fed him with a small smile. 

“I know I’m handsome, now eat.” Jisung swallowed before opening his mouth to speak but was stopped as Minho gave him more ramen. “Nu uh~ eat up.” Jisung sat down giving up on talking with the elder as he stared at him eating. Once in a while he’d open his mouth for Minho to feed him when he offered, other than that there were no words exchanged. Jisung was the first one to break the silence as he spoke softly to the other. “I have an afternoon shift in a half hour.” Minho hummed before offering Jisung more food with a small smile. “Yeah? When do you get off?” Jisung opened his mouth as the other fed him the last of the food, his hands picking up the dishes as he went to go wash them. Jisung covered his mouth as he spoke softly between chews. “Four.” 

“So just a three hour shift?” Jisung nodded as he moved to his bedroom, his head leaning against his door frame. “Are you just going to stay there my whole shift like you usually do?” Minho hummed as he thought for a bit, “I’m super tired babe..” Jisung pouted as he disappeared into his room to change leaving Minho to lean against the counter with a deep sigh. Jisung walked out with his uniform on, his body moving to give Minho a back hug. His chin rested into the crook of Minho’s neck perfectly as he softly spoke to him. “I can carpool with Seungmin, he’s been complaining that we don’t hang out as much..you go back to bed. I’ll bring you home some cheesecake!” He smiled brightly up at the other as he softly chuckled to himself. “Yes Jisung, please do bring me home _your_ favorite food.” 

Jisung giggled as he nuzzled into the other’s neck before taking a deep breath. “Do I smell good Sungie?” His voice teasing as his hand ruffled the tuft of hair sticking out with a soft hum. Jisung lifted his head up with a blank expression. “Not as good as you usually do, take a shower after your nap while you’re at it.” Minho’s lips curled up before moving his body from Jisung’s grip, “Will do. If I’m not awake when you come home you can wake me up.” Jisung nodded before turning his head as a soft honk was heard from outside. “Kay, see you later Min!” He grabbed his coat as his body slipped out the door. 

Minho let his deep breath go with a wave of relief. It was getting harder to live normally with Jisung when he gets off to the thought of what could have happened if they actually went through with it in the dance studio. He shook his head quickly as he hit his forehead with a groan. “Quit it..he’s just your friend. He needs you to be there for him.” Minho sighed as he moved to the shower, his body stood in the water as his head leaned against the wall. The water hit his back as his mind wandered with a thousand thoughts a mile. Could he actually have something with Jisung?

* * *

Jisung took a deep breath as he tied his apron behind his back with soft hums, Seungmin smiling as he watched the other. “You seem slightly happier, did someone get dicked down last night?” Jisung’s mouth dropped before hitting Seungmin’s arm with a frown. “No! I _told_ you that I got into Minho’s dance team and I feel genuinely happy recently..” Seungmin hummed as he pulled the other into a tight hug before planting a kiss onto Jisung’s cheek. “How’s it going with you and sexy roommate?” 

“Minho and I are just friends, I’ve told you that so many times.” Jisung’s eyes rolled as he started to take his notepad before starting to walk out to greet customers. “I see the way you look at each other, you basically eye fuck each other.” Jisung looked at Seungmin before shaking his head with a small grin. “If you think Minho is so sexy why don’t you try to get in his pants then?” Seungmin shook his head as his hand patted Jisung’s ass gently. “I would never steal my best friend’s man.”

Jisung scoffed before turning to a table with a huge grin, “Hi, I’m Jisung and I’ll be your server today. Can I get you a few menus or do you kn- Wooyoung!” He gripped his notepad with a childish giggle as he rocked on his heels. the elder looked up before smiling back with a toothy grin. “Oh hey Jisung, look at how cute you are in your uniform~ this cute little apron.” His hand tugged at the apron with Jisung whining softly with a light dusting to his cheeks. “Stop..I’m not that cute.” He puffed his cheeks before giggling softly. “What can I get for you?”

“Just a coffee for me and maybe a bit of your time. I miss mister hot shot over here, making it into Minho’s dance team and then leaving your friend Wooyoung in the dust.” Jisung pouted before sitting on the table, his fingers moving to tap his pen against his lips. “How about I get you a cake to make up for it?” Wooyoung chuckled before resting his head in his hand, “Sure and how about your number too?” Jisung smiled as he jot down the order before putting the pen back into his apron. “Oh my gosh, the first time someone asked for my number~” He chuckled as he walked away leaving Wooyoung with a small grin.

Seungmin snuggled into Jisung’s back as he put the order into the window for the cooks with a soft sigh. “Sungie baby..I miss you so much. We have to hang out more, can I stay the night at your place?” Jisung hummed as he thought about how tired Minho seemed as he tried to imagine how Seungmin would affect that. “Maybe not tonight, Min seemed pretty tired.” Seungmin huffed as he tightened his grip around Jisung before moving away. “Min is tired Jisung says. Min is just a friend, he says. Invite me to the wedding!” Jisung rolled his eyes as his cheeks tainted red, “Stop..” He moved back to Wooyoung’s table as he sat with him with a long yawn, his head resting on the table. Wooyoung ran his hand through the faded blue strands before softly speaking. 

“Have you been working a lot? You seem pretty tired.” Jisung lifted his head slightly with a soft hum, “I haven’t been sleeping that great recently. My insomnia is rearing its ugly head again..” He rubbed his eyes as he looked at his reflection from the window. “I did my makeup today so it doesn’t look that obvious right?” The elder took small bites of his cake before offering some to Jisung. “I’m fine..no thanks.” He smiled at the offer before meeting eye contact with his boss. “I should get back to work but enjoy the cake on me!” He got up before stopping for a moment, “Wait sorry, I didn’t give you my number.” He ripped off a page from his notebook as his pen wrote his number down. “And..if you could keep my insomnia away from Minho..I don’t want him to worry about me again.” With that Jisung walked away leaving Wooyoung conflicted, his teeth gently nibbled his lip as he stared at Minho’s open contact before hitting call with a hum. “He’d worry more not knowing..” His voice soft as he turned to look out the window as the phone rang in his ear.

Once Jisung finished his shift he slumped into the house only to meet Minho staring back at him. “Hey..?” Minho pulled Jisung into a tight hug with a deep sigh leaving his lips. “Why didn’t you tell me? How can I help? Do you sleep better with someone or..?” Jisung’s heart dropped as he listened to Minho’s voice in his ear, his breath hitting his ear gently. “I..” Minho’s arms dropped to his side as his head tilted to look at Jisung’s face. “Wooyoung told me..I know you told him not to but he just wanted to help.” Jisung took a deep breath before nodding slowly. 

“To answer your questions..I don’t think there’s really a set way to help but yes I do sleep better with someone. I used to sleep with Hyunjin but I wouldn’t want to bother you with that. We aren’t together and when I slept with Hyunjin when we were dating..Just because I sleep better with someone to hold onto doesn’t mean we have to. I don’t want to make things awkward.” Minho cupped Jisung’s face before leaning into for a moment, his body freezing as their lips brushed along each other before he pulled back with a nervous smile. “Sorry.” Jisung’s heart raced in his chest, the pounding echoing through his ears as he swallowed before glancing away then back again. 

Their lips almost met yet again sending nerves through his spine. “I..do find comfort in kisses but again..I don’t want to make this awkward for us.” Minho nodded as his hands rubbed Jisung’s arms with silence filling the air. Minho broke the silence as he moved his hand to brush away some stray hairs from Jisung’s face. “I wouldn’t mind sleeping with you. If it truly brings you comfort and helps you sleep better I’m willing to sleep with you, my bed is bigger if that’s what we end up doing.” Jisung nodded after a moment of silence. “Okay..only if you don’t find it awkward.”

“I don’t. I want to help you so bad Jisung..you mean so much to me you know?” Jisung nodded as his lips curled up shyly. “You can kiss me by the way. Seungmin does it all the time.” Minho quirked an eyebrow before studying Jisung’s face. “He kisses you?” Jisung shrugged as his hands moved to his pockets, his eyes drifting away from Minho’s face. “I mean not on the lips as often but yeah. He’s my best friend, I don’t think that much of it. He slaps my ass all the time too, it’s just something normal for us.” 

Minho hesitated for a moment before slowly slotting their lips together, his hands holding Jisung’s face close to his as their lips continuously met. Jisung’s body ended up sitting on the couch with Minho hovering over him, his knee slotted in between his legs as it rested on the couch cushion. Their tongues tangling together with soft pants escaping between their lips. Minho slowly pulled away as he cleared his throat. Jisung looked away before smiling, “That was a bit awkward but..not bad.” Minho chuckled as he repositioned himself to sit next to Jisung. “It was only awkward cuz you started enjoying it.” Jisung’s mouth dropped before smirking as he pushed Minho’s body slightly. “You’re the one who shoved your tongue down my throat! If you ask me _you_ were the one to enjoy it.”

Minho wrapped his arm around the back of the couch as he shook his head with a laugh. “You liked it.” Jisung couldn’t deny it, he did like the feeling of Minho against his lips but he wouldn’t risk saying it out loud. “You wish.” Jisung got up from the couch, his body moving to his bedroom before looking back at Minho. “Did you shower? I could use a shower..I feel gross.” Minho nodded, looking up at Jisung with a smile. “Yeah, I showered when you left. I didn’t end up sleeping either..” Jisung frowned as he slipped into the bathroom, his hands stripping away his clothes as he stepped into the shower. The water washed away his makeup from his neck along with his face. He washed his hair slowly with soft humming as he turned the water off and got out. His eyes moving to his neck that had a few dark marks under his jaw. 

“Why can’t I help myself with him..it’s like there’s something about him that turns me into jello..” He rubbed his face with a soft grumble. “I can’t keep letting myself do this with him..I’m going to screw it all up if we ever become a thing. I screw everything up, Hyunjin was right. I fuck up everything.” He wrapped a towel around his waist as his hands grabbed another towel to run it through his hair quickly. “Hey Min?” He opened the door as he spoke, Minho looked up from his phone as he waited for Jisung to continue.

“Can we dye my hair again tomorrow? My blue is so faded, it’s starting to bother me.” Minho nodded as he yawned softly. “Oh shoot..I forgot to bring you something home.” Jisung’s hands dropped as he held the towel against his chest with a sad expression. Minho chuckled as he shoved his phone into his pocket as his eyes looked up at Jisung who seemed shy even with everything covered besides his shoulders. “It’s fine, go get dressed babe. You’re going to catch a cold if you keep standing around wet.” Jisung moved back to his room, his body coming back moments later in a baggy sweater and jeans. “Ah..the jeans return. Are you really going to sleep in those?” Jisung frowned slightly before moving back to his room, a blanket wrapped around his shoulders as he walked out. “Yep. Goodnight.” Minho shook his head, his body getting up from the couch before grabbing Jisung’s waist to pull him into an embrace. 

“Remember we’re sleeping together to help you.” Minho’s voice was soft and deep as he led the younger into his room. “Don’t get any funny ideas.” Jisung smiled as he softly teased the other, his tongue sticking out with a soft giggle. Minho got into his bed with a sarcastic ‘ha ha’ before he turned to face away from Jisung. “If you need something to hold onto I’ll be the little spoon. Don’t get used to it though, I’m the top here.” Jisung was speechless as he crawled into the bed shyly, his heart pounding into his chest as he slowly wrapped his arms around Minho. His chest was pressed against Minho’s back as his arms rested on his chest. “Your heart is going a mile per minute sungie.”

“Is it that obvious?” Jisung moved to pull away but Minho had pulled him back as he pulled the blanket up to cover them both. “Go to bed sungie.” Jisung buried his head into Minho’s shoulder as his eyes closed, his mind racing with way too many thoughts. There was no way he’d be able to sleep tonight, maybe not even tomorrow night. Not with his thoughts creeping onto him, luckily it wasn’t his nightmares but it wasn’t pleasant thoughts either. 

What would happen if he and Minho actually tried going steady? Would he just end up ruining that relationship too like Hyunjin said? He nibbled his lip before letting a deep sigh leave his lips, Minho’s face moved to look at the other with a whisper. “How can I help you sleep?”

“You can’t. I just can’t sleep.” Jisung’s voice was soft as he let another sigh out. Minho moved his body to face Jisung with a worried expression even if the other wouldn’t be able to see it in the dark. “Are you uncomfortable?” Jisung answered right away, a soft no leaving his lips as he repositioned his body to rest his head on Minho’s chest. “Do you prefer to have me facing you or away?” There was no response but Jisung wasn’t asleep, he just didn’t know his answer. “Jisung?” He hummed to let Minho know he was awake but he was still thinking about his answer. “I think I like it better when you’re facing me.” 

“Can I kiss you again Jisung?” The question caught him off guard, his mouth parting before pursing them together. “No..” Minho tapped his forehead as he spoke again, “Not even here?” Jisung smiled in the dark before chuckling to himself. “Fine, you’re so clingy.” Minho planted a kiss onto his forehead before moving his body again, his arms wrapping around Jisung’s waist. Jisung stayed put as Minho slowly drifted off to sleep leaving Jisung to his thoughts. The elder’s body rolled over, his arms leaving Jisung’s waist as he now faced away from him. 

Jisung slowly got up from the bed, his body leaving Minho’s room as he retreated to his own. He admits he does end up being able to sleep with someone next to him but something was different about Minho. He wasn’t like Hyunjin in many ways, he made him feel differently in situations where Hyunjin would just make him feel nothing. Was that how he coped with things with him? Was he labeling numbness as happiness? He puffed his cheeks up as he released a big puff of air. 

He ended up back into his own bed, his eyes looking out at the moon from his window. The light that it gave off illuminating his room along with his face as he stared at it blankly. He didn’t remember when his eyes closed but he woke up as the sun hit his eyes with a soft groan. He turned away from his window as he debated getting out of bed or not. He eventually got up as his phone vibrated on his nightstand over and over again until he got annoyed. He grabbed his phone to look at his screen with a wince as it shined into his eyes. Felix had sent almost fifty messages along with a few missed calls. Jisung signed before calling him back as he sat up slowly. He opened his mouth to say hello but Felix beat him to it.

_“Hey Sungie! Let’s go on a double date, I’m going to hang out with Changbin and he wanted to get to know you better but if it’s just us and you I’ll end up making out with him and totally ignoring you and nothing will be done. Go ask Minho if he wants to come, if he says no make him come cuz I miss him. I miss teasing him, I know he’s still passed out cuz he won’t answer me either. Go go! I’ll be waiting on call.”_

Jisung rubbed his face as he listened to the bubbly energetic voice of Felix before moving to walk to Minho’s room. His hand opened the door as he rubbed his eyes with his free hand, once his eyes opened his heart sank. He didn’t know what to do as he stayed put, Minho’s head was leaned back as his hand was buried under his sweatpants. Jisung’s eyes moved to the other’s face as his mouth opened with soft sounds escaping it making it rather obvious what he was doing. “I’ll call you back…” Minho jumped as his hand pulled out of his pants as his eyes fluttered open quickly. Jisung bit his lip as he looked away as he shifted his weight. He had no idea why he was still there, his head was screaming but something was keeping him there. 

Minho sighed deeply as he kept his eyes on the ceiling before breaking the silence nervously. “Morning..” Jisung laughed nervously before looking at the tent in Minho’s pants. “I..” His voice was soft as he tried to think through what he would say before he ended up just blurting out with a blush. “I can help.”

Minho’s breath hitched as he squeezed his eyes shut to stop himself from imagining it, though Jisung sat between his legs as he opened them back up. “Jisung you don’t have to do anything- this is just random morning wood you know? I got it..” Jisung shook his head as he shrugged, his eyes focused on the floor as he spoke softly. “Wouldn’t it feel better for you if I helped?” Minho swallowed hard before pulling his dick out of his sweatpants, his eyes slowly looking at Jisung.

Jisung hesitated for a bit before his head leaned down, his tongue swirled along his tip for a moment before he wrapped his lips around. Minho took a short breath in, his fingers moved to his hair as he gripped the strands. Jisung moved to lick down his shaft as his hands wrapped around what was in his mouth, he figured out a rhythm as his tongue teased Minho’s slit. Minho’s moans rang through the air as he gently moved Jisung’s head down. 

Jisung shivered as he lifted his head back, his tongue going back to stimulate his head leaving Minho a mess. His hands moved along with his mouth in a rhythm as his tongue pressed against his head roughly. Minho’s stomach clenched as he gripped his blanket tightly, his jaw dropping as he filled Jisung’s mouth. Jisung slowly pulled off with a soft pop, his Adam's apple slowly bobbing as he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. His nose scrunched up as he shuddered before meeting eye contact with the other. 

Minho took a deep breath before speaking softly, “Jisung..we can’t keep doing this. You just broke up with Hyunjin. You don’t actually want this.” Jisung opened his mouth before Minho cut him off again. “You should go.” 

Jisung’s heart sank, he did want this though. He’s never been so sure of something before but the look on Minho’s face made him feel powerless. As if everything they’ve worked up to meant nothing. Jisung moved before rushing out of the room as his eyes watered. How could he be so stupid? He knew he shouldn’t have gotten too close to Minho but of course, his heart got the best of him yet again.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the one where lowkey,,shit hits the fan

Jisung felt numb as he sat in his room, his fingers fiddling with themselves as he stared at the ground. His teeth gritting together as tears fell down his cheeks. “Fuck.” His head fell into his fingers as he grasped his faded hair. Felix’s contact opened up in his phone as it laid next to his leg, sure he should probably reach out to someone but he couldn’t bring himself to do it. He was hopeless, his life spiraling out of control just when he thought he had it in his grasp. There was simply no constant in his life. 

His body moved as he laid down on his bed, his eyes staring up at his ceiling with a blank look. His mind was empty as he slowly soaked his pillow case. Thoughts ran wild as he tried to calm down, flashes of Minho playing through his brain before a single moment stayed put as his tears dried up. The words ringing through his ears, his hands shaking as he covered his ears as his teeth gritted together. 

_“You can’t mess up with me Jisung.”_

The quote from when they met played through his head over and over again like a broken record. He gripped his hair as his mouth spoke soft words before he screamed out. “Shut up shut up shut up!” His voice rang through his room as he screamed out, his chest rising and falling as he painted softly. He had to get out of this house, his hand grabbing his phone as he hit the green call button on Felix’s contact. 

“Felix-- I need to get out of here, I can’t stand it. I..I just need you to pick me up.” His voice was frantic as Felix tried to pry on what was wrong but Jisung hung up before he could ask too many questions. Minho was so wrong, _so so_ wrong. He could mess up with him, and he just did. He made the biggest mistake of all with him. He let himself fall for the other when he wasn’t ready to catch him. Jisung bit his nails as he waited for Felix to pick him up, his eyes glued to his phone waiting for a text from the younger. Once his screen lit up he grabbed it and ran out, his eyes never once leaving his target as he walked out the door. Felix had a look of worry painted on his face as Jisung climbed into the passenger seat.

“So are you going to tell me what’s wrong or?” Jisung shook his head before biting his nail again, his eyes looking out the window. “Jisung..?” Jisung looked over before blinking with a blank expression. “Jisung what’s wrong?” He leaned over as his hand rubbed against the other’s leg. Jisung’s lip trembled slowly before he turned to Felix, “Felix I need..I just need some weed in my system.” Felix’s eyes widened before frowning. “No. No you don’t.” Jisung shook his head, his eyes shaking as he stared desperately at the younger. “No you don’t know, like I need something in my system Lix..”

“You’ve been so clean, I’m not letting you relapse. Let’s just go get you drunk instead babe..” Jisung ran his fingers through his hair with a deep sigh, “Fine..god I just need to forget any of this shit happened.” Felix sighed as he turned his car around silently, his eyes glancing over at the other as he drove off to the bar. “Do you feel comfortable telling me about what happened?” Jisung stayed silent as his leg bounced quickly as nerves ran through his system. Felix parked as he stared over at the male next to him before he leaned over to kiss Jisung’s cheek. “Babe..come on, let’s get trashed. Changbin can pick us up.” 

Jisung nodded as they got out, his fingers held Felix’s hand tightly as they walked in utter silence. Jisung moved to the bar quickly as he put down a wad of cash, “Five shots of whiskey.” Felix raised his eyebrow before ordering for himself. “One of those fruit vodkas.” Felix watched as Jisung downed each shot class in a single gulp, his cheeks flushing red as he looked over at Felix with a tired look. “Lixie..” His voice was smooth as he ran his finger along the rim of the shot glass. Felix sipped his drink before biting his straw as he listened to Jisung’s drunken voice. “Felix...I was so surprised when I figured it o...out.” Felix rose his eyebrow, his teeth nibbled his straw as he listened. “I found out..that I..i had fallen for him.” 

Felix tilted his head as his adam’s apple bobbed slowly as he drank more of his drink. “Who? Minho?” Jisung ordered another shot before downing it quickly, his cup hitting the bar as he continued to speak. “I don’t want to believe I have feelings for him..I don’t want to believe it. I know I could lose him so fast.” Felix rested his head into his hand as he smiled slightly. “My little baby is in love, don’t be so scared of it Jisung. I’ve seen the way Minho looks at you, he shows so much interest in you.” Jisung shook his head as he hiccuped softly. “No..no I fucked it up. He just rejected me after sucking his dick it’s so fucking embarrassing..” Felix coughed as he took a deep sip of his drink while Jisung spoke. “You what!?” He wiped his mouth as he looked over at Jisung with a shocked look. “It may be pathetic but I’m so stuck on him..” Jisung hummed before taking Felix’s drink and sipping it, his nose scrunching up before shaking his head. “Fruity shit..fucking gay.”

“I am gay Jisung. We’ve had sex.” Jisung hiccuped softly as he shook his head, his body moving to lean against Felix. Felix sighed as he rubbed the other’s back as he bit his straw, his fingers running along his back slowly making circles. His eyes looking over before narrowing at the male next to them eyeing Jisung. “Move along, this one is mine.” He flipped off the other before pulling Jisung close to him. “We should get you home.” Jisung shook his head as he grabbed another shot glass, Felix taking it from his hand quickly as he drank it instead. His eyes closed tightly as he shook his head. “Oh that tastes like ASS.” Jisung giggled softly before hugging the other close, Felix dragging the other to his car with a frown.

“Last time I’ll ever go to the bar with Jisung..” He pulled his phone out as he called Changbin, “Hey babe..can you pick me and Jisung up? I don’t feel all that drunk but I don’t want to risk it..Sungie is utterly wasted.” Changbin chuckled into the phone before agreeing, his car shortly pulled up with a smile as he rolled his window down. “Hey baby, looking good.” Felix rolled his eyes as he laid Jisung into the back before sliding into the passenger seat. His lips pressing against Changbin’s cheek sloppily. “How’s Jisung doing? He won’t puke in my car will he?” Felix shrugged as he looked over at his friend in the back seat. “I think he’ll blackout before puking. He took so many shots it was surreal.” Changbin hummed before parking his car, “Chan should be making you guys some food to hopefully make your stomach’s more at ease.”

Felix and Changbin went upstairs as Jisung laid his head on the kitchen table with Chan sitting next to him as his hand rubbed his back. “Chan..you know. Felix was a big dick today..” Chan raised his eyebrow as his hand stopped moving for a bit. “Why? What did he do?” Jisung propped his head up by his hands as he stared at Chan, “He wouldn’t give me just one thing that I...I n-needed. He’s so scared I’ll relapse and shit..” Chan hummed as he started to rub Jisung’s back again. “You need something Jisung?” Jisung’s eyes fixated on the elder as he got up from the table. “What do you need babe?” Jisung smiled before tugging onto Chan’s shirt. “Mmm remember when we met?” Chan chuckled before ruffling Jisung’s hair, “Yes I do, is that you asking for coke subtly?” Jisung shrugged though Chan could see right through him, “I got you babe.” He moved to grab a baggie before pouring some onto the table. “Here buttercup.” Jisung stared at the table for a moment, his head trying to get past all the alcohol to tell him to stop but his emotions begged to be numbed. He took the straw before taking it all in, his eyes fluttering as the high registered. A feeling he hadn’t felt in such a long time.

Chan chuckled softly as he joined in, his body full of energy as they kept going without a word said between them. Felix was the first one to make a sound, his eyebrow’s furrowing as he stared dumbfounded by what the two were doing. “What the fuck!?” Jisung looked up before smiling slightly, “Lixie~” He reached out to grab the other’s body but he got swatted away with a dark glare. 

“I can’t believe you let him relapse Chan! I told you to stop dealing to him in particular, you can choose anyone else! Literally anyone! That’s my best friend!” He yelled at the two sitting at the table, Chan’s eyebrows furrowed together with a frown before standing up. “Babe..” Felix turned away from Chan as he continued to growl. “Don’t babe me! I specifically told you several times, do _not_ deal to fucking Jisung! What do you not understand!? What fucking part did you not understand about not dealing to Han fucking Jisung!?” 

Felix’s eyes glared darkly as he pulled Jisung up from the table, his teeth gritting together as he growled at the other male. “Get out of the house Chan, make yourself scarce until I calm down.” He dragged the elder male out the house as he took a deep breath, “Fucking hell Jisung..I can never leave you alone.” He wrapped Jisung’s arm around his neck as they walked slowly together. “How are you feeling?”

“Really good!” Jisung giggled softly as he hugged Felix as he ran kisses down the younger's cheek. “Quit it.” Felix groaned softly as they finally got to Minho’s house with a hum. “Let’s get you in bed babe..” Jisung nodded as Felix rubbed his back as he exhaled deeply. Minho peaked out from his room but he kept silent as he watched Felix drag Jisung into his room. He wanted to ask what happened but he doubted Jisung wanted to hear from him. 

Felix laid the elder down before sitting next to him, his hands undressing the other. He moved to open Jisung’s closet with a soft sigh, “It’s half Minho’s shit..” He grabbed a button up before dressing Jisung up in pajamas. “I love you.” Jisung hummed as he rolled over as Felix got into his bed, his arms wrapping around the elder’s waist. Jisung closed his eyes as he passed out, his mind muddled with the alcohol in his system. Felix’s body pressed against his as they fell asleep in each other’s arms.

Jisung woke up in the morning with a raging headache, his hand moving to rub his forehead as he groaned lowly. Felix looked over from his spot at his desk, “You look like garbage.” Jisung got up from his spot as he moved to the bathroom, his hands covering his mouth as Felix got up quickly to follow him. He gripped the toilet seat as he puked into it with a disgusted look, Felix’s hands rubbing his back as he spoke softly. “Don’t worry baby..I have breakfast ready for you..just get this all out.” Jisung’s body shook as he coughed up some more before spitting into the toilet with a groan. Minho stood in the living room watching everything go down, his head tilting as he bit his lip gently. Did Jisung get wasted last night because of him? He nibbled his lip as he paced the room with a soft whine.

Jisung wiped his mouth as he took deep breaths, his eyes filled with tears as he sat back on his heels. “Feel better Sungie?” Felix rubbed his back as the other nodded slowly, “My throat hurts like hell..so does my head.” Felix hummed as he pulled Jisung’s body up before taking him to the kitchen, he ran his fingers through Jisung’s hair before humming. “Didn’t you wanna redye this babe?” Jisung nodded as he tried to prop his head in his hands on the counter though his head kept dropping, Minho frowned before sitting on the couch with a hum of worry. “Lix, what happened?”

Jisung looked over at Minho before his expression changed, it seemed hurt for a moment before changing to a glare. Minho swallowed nervously before looking away with a sigh. Felix looked at the two as he rubbed the small of Jisung’s back with a kiss to his ear, “Hey baby?” Jisung hummed as he looked over at the younger as he stared up at him with doe eyes. “Huh?” Felix ran his fingers through his hair as he looked over at Minho for a moment. “Is what you told me last night true?” Jisung furrowed his eyebrows as he tried to remember all that he said. “I don’t remember what I said, I was drunk off my ass.” Minho perked his head up as he moved to listen closely, his eyes narrowing, leaning against the couch.

Felix hummed as he watched the elder try to look busy as he listened to the two’s conversation. Jisung frowned as he grabbed a water bottle before he chugged it down, his Adam's apple bobbing as his head leaned back slowly. Minho’s eyes glued to his neck before looking away with a sigh, Felix hummed as he watched the two before letting a deep exhale go. The two obviously felt the same about each other but refused to accept that they had feelings for the other. Felix furrowed his eyebrows as he grabbed his phone with a soft hum. “Hey Binnie, ah hey baby~” He cooed softly as he absentmindedly played with Jisung’s hair with a smile. “Can you pick me up and take me to the bar to pick my car up? I’m at Minho’s..” He leaned against Jisung as he spoke to him with a smile, “I’ll go buy hair dye so we can redye your hair when I come back okay babe?” Jisung nodded as he looked over at Felix with a small smile, “Blue. The almost black shade.” 

Felix gave him a thumbs up before leaving to wait for Changbin, leaving the two to sit in silence. Jisung nibbled his lip before moving to room, his fingers rummaging through his old belongings. His eyes widening as he spotted what he was looking for, his hand grabbing a baggie from the bottom of the chest. His eyes studying the contents as he thought about it for a moment. Felix would be more than disappointed in him but he couldn’t help it, he got a whiff of it with Chan and now he misses the feeling all over again. He poured a small amount onto his desk before leaning down to snort the line, his eyes closing as he hummed contently. He missed the feeling of euphoria, as his body shook slightly. He didn’t stop until he heard Felix’s voice back into the house ask where he was, his hand wiping down his desk before tossing the baggy into the chest as his free hand wiped his nose.

He walked out of his room with a smile to Felix, his arms wrapping around Felix’s arm with a soft coo. “I got your dye, wanna dye your hair now?” Jisung nodded as his mouth curled up, his teeth flashing as he smiled widely. “My my my, look who’s over his hangover already.” Felix chuckled as they moved to the bathroom as Minho shyly followed. “Do you guys need any help?” Jisung sat on the toilet as he grabbed the dye as he read the box, ignoring the other’s question. Felix hummed as he turned to Minho, “Sure. I always have trouble getting all of the hair dyed you know?” Jisung looked up with a dumbfounded look before frowning, he didn’t know how to feel about Minho dying his hair. He didn’t know if he should be happy about some sort of interaction between the two or be annoyed that Felix let him help knowing how they’re not getting along at the moment. Felix grabbed the dye before shaking it as he hummed, his head turning to look at Minho with a smile. “Okay Minho you can put in the dye on his right side. You can use the gloves so it doesn't stain your hands. I don’t mind all that much since I dye Chan’s hair all the time.” Minho grabbed the gloves before grabbing some of the dye, his hand gently tilting Jisung’s head as he squirted the dye into his roots.

Felix worked on the other side of his head, Jisung’s eyes glued to his phone screen as the two ran their fingers through his hair. Minho bent over before frowning slightly, “Jisung look up.” Jisung followed the direction without a thought, Minho moved to stand in front of the younger as his fingers ran deeply through his hair. Felix sat on the counter as he watched the two work with a small smile, “And it says you keep this in for thirty minutes to forty five, but no longer than that.” Minho finished running his hands through the other’s hair before taking his gloves off, his eyes glancing over at Jisung’s phone screen before chuckling. Jisung looked up, his eyes meeting with Minho’s before his lips curled slightly. It was short lasted though, ending with him looking away as he sighed with a pout. 

Felix tilted his head before shrugging it off before opening his mouth to speak. “So Minho, when do you go back to work? Are you two living off Jisung’s cafe job?” Minho shook his head as he sat on the bathroom floor next to Jisung’s feet. “No, I would never make Jisung pay the whole rent, he pays his half and I use my savings to pay mine. The season starts back up in a month or two, did Jisung tell you he made my team?” Felix gasped as he clapped his hands together, “Oh my gosh Jisung that’s amazing!” Felix smiled as he looked over at Minho then back to Jisung. “So you’ll be working together a lot?” Minho nodded before getting up with a yawn, “Do you need help rinsing out or should I just go?”

Felix shrugged, “Usually he just takes a shower and that does the job just fine right Sungie?” Jisung hummed before getting off the toilet as he spoke up. “Actually I’d rather just do it in the sink or something so I can take a nap before work. We can blow dry my hair and stuff.” Felix nodded as his phone timer went off with a hum, “Rinse time~!” Minho turned on the water as he gently leaned against Jisung’s back as his hands moved through his hair to rinse it out. Jisung leaned over the sink, his body not moving an inch as he felt Minho’s fingers run through his hair. Felix watched the interaction with a perplexed look, the two others basically glued together and yet they seem like they’ve hit rock bottom at times. 

Minho’s chin rested against Jisung’s shoulder as he moved the younger’s head to rinse the rest of his hair, his eyes focused on making sure the dye stayed out of Jisung’s eyes. “Alright there..Felix you can dry it, I’m gonna go make some food.” Jisung lifted his head as he turned the water off, his lips pulled into a slight frown once Minho’s body left his back. The warmth leaving quickly along with the soothing beat of his heart. Jisung moved his bangs back as he offered his hand for the blow dryer. “I can dry my own hair. You should head home..Changbin is probably missing you terribly.” Felix hummed before looking at the clock, “Alright..call me if you ever need anything okay?” Jisung nodded before turning on the hair dryer, his hands running through the strands as he slowly dried it.

Once it was dry he moved to his room, his eyes moving to the open chest that his drugs were stashed in and never to be touched again. His throat bobbed as he tried to ignore the urge to just go through it and see what’s in there but it was seemingly impossible to just look. He felt as if he was detached from himself as he gave into the temptation to just check. His hands rummaged through before stopping on the stash Felix had given them before he left their shared foster home. 

He nibbled his lip before looking back at his closed door, his mind muddled with thoughts all going at the speed of light. He didn’t think, he just did as he poured endless amounts of it onto his desk. His nose burned as he kept going without any break in between. He lost all control and he didn’t even realize it until he was gasping for more but there was nothing to take. He sat on his heels as he stared at the mess on his desk, his eyes shaking as droplets of tears fell from his eyes. 

Jisung covered his mouth as his mouth let soft sobs escape, his eyes squeezing together as he tried to catch his breath. He lost it, he lost everything about him. He had lost _himself._ He fully broke himself. His whole body shook as his sobs became louder, his ears not even catching how loud he had become. Minho appeared in his doorphame in an instant but Jisung never noticed. Jisung’s world went black, his eyes shutting as he tried to collect himself. His hands gripping his fresh blue strands as he screamed to himself, his ears blocking out every sound he made. 

Minho looked around Jisung’s room to try to figure out what triggered this but all he noticed was a dusting to Jisung’s desk and his mind couldn’t figure out what it was. He knelt by Jisung as his hands wrapped around the younger, his voice softly speaking to Jisung though the other wasn’t hearing it. Jisung’s voice shaky as he looked up at the elder. “Help me...I’ve done it again..” Minho couldn’t figure out what he was talking about but he kept silent. “And...the worst part..there’s n-no one else..to blame but me.” Jisung choked on his words as Minho tried to sooth the other as he rubbed his shoulders.

Minho didn’t know what to say, his head resting against Jisung’s as he exhaled slowly. “What do you want me to do Jisung?” The other stayed silent for a bit before answering with a soft voice. “Just hold me..I feel..unsafe with myself.” Minho furrowed his eyebrows as he squeezed the other softly before moving his arms to hold Jisung in an embrace. They sat there in silence as Minho slowly rocked their bodies as he stared up at the ceiling having no idea what to say to the other. He didn’t even know what set him off in the first place but he wasn’t in the right place to pry. 

Minho wiped Jisung’s eyes before smiling as they met eye contact. “Better?” Jisung turned away before getting up with a soft sigh. “I have to go to work.” He grabbed his uniform before walking into the bathroom to change. Minho frowned as he grabbed his keys, his arms moving to put his jacket on before waiting for Jisung to come out. Jisung came out, his fingers tucking in his uniform before humming with a distressed look. “Ready to go?”

Jisung sighed deeply as he moved to the car without a word said between the two again. Minho drove to the cafe, his hands nervously gripping the wheel. Jisung got out of the car before Minho took his arm with a shy look. “Hey..I think you should stay home. You broke down earlier I feel like you would be better off staying home, yeah?” Jisung narrowed his eyes before frowning as he spoke. “I’m not your problem Minho, quit acting like you didn’t push me away. Either you push me away or you stick with me. Figure it out already.” Minho opened his mouth to protest but Jisung slammed the door in his face.

Jisung huffed as he walked into the cafe, his hand running through his hair as he ignored the urge to look back at Minho. He clocked in before looking around for Seungmin, his eyes finding him as he was taking an order for a group of people. Jisung stood by the counter before pulling Seungmin to the side, “Seungmin I need help. You were right I do kinda have a thing for Minho but he pushed me away after I sucked his dick like twice and I have no idea if he hates me or just doesn’t want to have something like that.” Seungmin’s eyes widened as he tried to comprehend what Jisung was blabbering on about. “You _WHAT?_ ” Jisung smiled nervously before covering Seungmin’s mouth, “Yeah I know, I regret every moment of it. He pushed me away does that count as a rejection? Should I just get over it?”

“I mean, I guess so? Jisung I thought you didn’t want a relationship anyways.” Jisung sighed as he nodded slowly, “Well yeah but like..I don’t know he feels different. But I guess he turned out like everyone else. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to find someone like Hyunjin..” Seungmin parted his lips for a moment before closing them with a sigh. “Don’t say that, I’m sure someone is out there. You just have to open yourself up to it.” He patted Jisung’s back before moving to greet more customers, leaving Jisung alone to think about what was just said.

Jisung started working and his shift generally flew by, though his mind was flooded with thoughts but the rest of his was numb. He couldn’t quite grasp himself. Once his alarm went off for him to clock out he waited for Seungmin but what he saw came to him as a surprise. His eyes widened as his jaw dropped. There he was, leaning against the counter with his lips locked with none other than Hwang Hyunjin. Jisung tried to contain his shock but his lips released a soft gasp. Hyunjin’s eyes opened slowly as his lips curled into a smirk, he pulled away from Seungmin before waving at the other. “Hey sungie~” Jisung looked at Seungmin who had a guilty look on his face then back to Hyunjin who seemed rather pleased with himself.

Jisung didn’t let another word leave his lips, his body dashed to the bathroom as he splashed water on his face. Once he left the bathroom Hyunjin was right next to the door waiting for him. “Now that I’ve gotten under your skin a bit by going around kissing your friends, how about we have a little chat and catch up?” Jisung frowned though for some reason his body didn’t want to leave. “You’ve stooped so far down to really try and get me mad over kissing my best friend.” Hyunjin hummed before checking himself in the mirror for a bit, “Well we were dating but Seungmin felt too bad about it once he figured out I was your ex. He’s a nice friend but he sure can’t help it when someone attractive gives him attention.”

“Stop using my friend as a toy, if you want a toy use me. But don’t you dare string around Seungmin.” Hyunjin raised his eyebrow before cooing softly, “I never thought you’d give in so easily babe, if I can have you as a toy why don’t you spend the night then? I can’t imagine your nightmares are letting up without me.” Jisung swallowed hard before tilting his head with a frown, “Well, no not really but I’ve gotten used to it I guess…” Hyunjin shook his head before wrapping one arm around Jisung’s waist, his free hand tilting his chin up. “I’ve truly missed this darling.” Jisung looked up shocked, his eyes narrowing before he let a slow exhale out.

“You don’t mean that, you don’t miss anything about me.” Hyunjin blinked in shock as he brought the other closer to his body before regaining his composure. “But I did Jisung, just let me have you spend the night at my house. By the looks of it you seem distressed, trouble in paradise with Minho hm~?” Jisung ignored the question as he tried his best to keep his cheeks dry as he blinked a bit. “Okay I come over..but you have to stop seeing Seungmin. He has feelings too.”

“Consider it done.”


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the one where jisung do be confused

Jisung stared into the back of the other as he led him to the familiar apartment they’ve spent their dating years together. His eyebrows knitted together, his head muddled with thoughts as he tried to ignore the edging sensation to nuzzle his nose into the neck of Hyunjin. He wanted to take a deep inhale of his scent, his sickening scent of cologne that never failed to intoxicate Jisung. 

Hyunjin must have felt the gaze in the back of his head, his eyes slowly glancing back at Jisung as his lips perked up into a smirk. “Will you allow me to sleep with you tonight?” Jisung’s mind halted as Hyunjin’s words floated through the air. He hasn’t slept with someone since he messed around with Felix, Minho was willing to comfort him but in the end he just ended up leaving him as well. Hyunjin stopped in his tracks as his hand moved to cup Jisung’s face gently. 

“Hey..you can sleep in your room. I kept it just the way you left it. You don’t have to sleep in the same room as me, I understand. I’ve been nothing but a dick to you, Jisung I’m so--” Jisung furrowed his eyebrows before gripping Hyunjin’s shirt fabric, their lips crashed together before gently moving to slot perfectly together. Hyunjin was timid at first before he kissed the younger back, his hands moved from the latter’s hair as he gripped the blue strands. Jisung’s feet back away as their lips pull apart, the two’s breath hitting each other’s lips as their eyes stared into their dark chocolate eyes.

“Is that a yes?” Jisung blinked before smiling shyly, the sight making Hyunjin’s heart flutter. “You know how safe you make me feel Hyunjin..yes we can sleep together.” Hyunjin almost squealed as his chest thumped into his ears, his hand gripped Jisung’s as they moved into their apartment. Nostalgia hit Jisung like a truck as his eyes darted around the place they used to share. His throat dried up as his mind flashed to the day Hyunjin kicked him out, his hand gripped his shirt as his body backed into Hyunjin’s chest. 

Hyunjin’s hands rubbed Jisung’s arms as he nuzzled his nose into the cook of Jisung’s neck. He sensed the other’s discomfort as his eyes looked up to study Jisung’s face. He gently pulled him to sit on the couch as he moved to rest his arm on the back of it. Jisung leaned his head back against his arm as his eyes wandered to the walls, photos of the two hung in frames with their names carved into it. His hands resting in his lap, his head running a mile per second as he studied how happy they looked in each of the photos.

Hyunjin watched Jisung’s face screw up in sadness from glancing around his apartment. His hand moved to rest onto Jisung’s thigh half expecting to have his hand to be swatted away. He stayed put for a moment until he felt small droplets fall onto his hand. His eyes darted up, a small gasp leaving his lips as his hand moved to wipe the latter’s tears. “Jisung..baby what’s wrong?” 

“I just..I missed this feeling. I missed it so much, the feeling of your touch. The feeling of you being there for me.” His lip quivered, his teeth tried to stop it as he bit his lower lip. “You’re right, you were a dick. You ruined the only place I had felt safe in and you opened your big fat mouth to Minho. You decided to fuck around with my best friend but..in the end—.” Jisung paused, his body refusing to make eye contact with Hyunjin as he felt the stare from him. “And yet my heart still races when you’re near me. In the end it still chooses you.” He shifted the weight under his legs as his eyes finally met Hyunjin’s gaze. “I missed you.”

Hyunjin squeezed Jisung’s thigh as their foreheads pressed together, their noses rubbing together as they breathed each other’s air. The silence between them only grew as neither of them had anything they wanted to say, Jisung’s eyes closing as his eyelashes brushed along the other’s cheeks. Hyunjin ran his fingers through his soft blue hair before having their lips meet again. Jisung didn’t kiss back at first, he seemed tired at first but it soon changed once Hyunjin’s tongue glazed along his teeth. 

Jisung hummed softly as his lips moved along with the other’s, his back moving from leaning against the back of the couch as Hyunjin gently pushed their bodies down along the cushions. Their tongues pranced together as Hyunjin’s fingers explored the latter’s hips, his shirt now rested slightly above his stomach as the cold air of the apartment prickled at his skin. Hyunjin pulled his body into an embrace, their lips locked together as they moved to the bedroom. Jisung’s legs wrapped tightly around the elder’s waist before he was laid onto the soft mattress. Their lips slowly parted, Hyunjin’s teeth gently tugging on the other’s bottom lip before letting the latter go. 

“How far did you go with Seungmin?” Jisung’s voice was soft though it startled Hyunjin. He furrowed his eyebrows as he hovered over the younger, his eyes practically begging for the answer though his heart was scared he couldn’t handle the answer that could come. “I never slept with him, if that’s what you’re asking. The furthest we got was when we met, we made out in his car.” Jisung’s eyes widened before closing into a moon shape as he began to laugh. Hyunjin stared at the male under him with a dumbfounded look. 

“I can’t believe you’re the one he was gushing over at work..he called you so hot and found it..he found it magical-” He covered his mouth as he tried to cover his snickers. Hyunjin’s lips curled into a smirk as he moved to plant kisses up Jisung’s neck as he continued to laugh. His tongue gently running along his jaw before he started sucking onto his soft skin. Jisung’s giggles subsided as he relaxed into the bed, his normal fear of being with someone in such an intimate way edged away with Hyunjin. Something about him was special but he couldn’t put his finger on it. “You make me feel safe Jinnie..”

Hyunjin hummed softly before moving down to have their lips meet again. The night flashed before Jisung’s eyes, their breath softly echoing through the room as their clothes were scattered onto the floor. Jisung’s back pressed against Hyunjin’s bare chest as they relaxed against each other. Hyunjin’s fingers ran along Jisung’s arm as he rested his chin onto the latter’s shoulder, his ears picking up the soft breathing of Jisung. It was a soothing sound, his voice softly speaking over it, “Jisung? What did you mean when I make you feel safe..”

Jisung’s eyes glanced over his shoulder before looking back at the spot on the wall that he’s been staring at for awhile. “You know when you asked Minho if we ever had sex?” Hyunjin hummed in response as his fingers brushed along the other’s arm absentmindedly as he listened. “We’ve gotten close I guess..but the thing is, there was this fear that stopped me from ever letting him go through with it. It was like this wall between us, I freaked out.” Hyunjin didn’t catch the drift, his eyebrows furrowing as he stayed silent to wait for Jisung to finish.

“You were right though, I did get around a bit. I’m not proud of it but that part of my life has been suppressed and I've passed it now. I pressed down my fear when I did it though, it didn’t feel right. I let someone keep going even when I knew deep down I didn’t want it. I told myself I would never let myself do that to myself again. I stopped Minho..but with you…” He turned to look over at Hyunjin before continuing softly, “But with you Hyunjin..that fear never comes. When we have sex it just feels like I’m safe.”

Hyunjin cupped the other’s cheeks as he looked into the deep brown eyes that stared back at him. “Jisung you could have stopped me-” Jisung shook his head quickly as his eyes softened, “No..Hyunjin I didn’t want it to stop. I promise. I never once felt that fear just now.” Hyunjin sighed softly as he pecked the smaller’s lips gently. “I never want to hurt you again.”

“You can’t, I told you..the fear doesn’t come up with you. I feel rather comfortable when we have sex.” Hyunjin hummed contently before rubbing their noses together. “Hey sungie?” Jisung only nuzzled his nose along Hyunjin’s face as an answer. Hyunjin waited for a moment before speaking up again,“Do you think we could ever have a second chance? Do you think this could be more than just a one night stand..?” 

Jisung’s eyes fluttered open as his mind tried to comprehend the question. Did he really want to rebound so fast? Was it really counted as a rebound if he never even dated Minho in the first place? He had feelings for Minho and he knew that but how far was that going to go, if he was being honest with himself. His mouth opened slightly in his thought, did he have an answer for that? 

Jisung nibbled his lip as his eyes stared into Hyunjin’s deep brown ones. “You don’t have to say anything Jisung..I’m sorry I asked.” Jisung’s mouth dropped, his head shaking as he thought to himself for a bit. “No it’s just..” His eyes looked away for a moment, Hyunjin has been nothing but good to him the whole night. He knows he feels something for Minho, in fact he can even tell himself he would be able to admit that he was in love with him. Jisung rubbed his neck, he didn’t know how to feel, Minho obviously didn’t feel the same about him but was he ready to just go to another? 

Hyunjin could hear the gears churning in Jisung’s head, his hand moved to run along his cheek. “Like I said Jisung, you don’t have to say anything.”

“Hyunjin I wouldn’t mind giving you a second chance.” His lips pulled into a small smile before disappearing just as fast as it came, “But can I be honest with you?” Hyunjin nodded, his eyes studying the other’s expressions with a slight tint of worry. “I’m scared I’ll screw up again and you won’t want to stay with me. I’m scared you’ll find another reason to throw me out..I’m clean I promise! Felix made sure of it I just..I have small hiccups but I promise I’m clean..” His voice drifted as his eyes moved to look at something else other than Hyunjin. 

Hyunjin stayed silent for a moment, his head processing all what the younger said. “Jisung please don’t feel scared with me, I want you to know I’d rather be by your side then tear you down again.” Jisung didn’t know how to respond, his eyes hadn’t moved from the new spot he’s been staring at to avoid the gaze of Hyunjin. “I believe you Jisung, I believe that you’re clean and even if at times you aren’t I believe that you are trying to better yourself..” His hand moved to stroke the younger’s cheek as he moved his face to look at him again, their eyes meeting once again as the air became silent. 

“So does that mean we’re..dating?” Jisung’s words came out as a small squeak after the dreadful silence between the two. Hyunjin chuckled as his lips moved to peck his jaw gently. “Mmmhm..” Jisung’s lips curled up as he nuzzled his nose into the tufts of the elder’s hair, each inhale bringing in the citrus scent of Hyunjin’s shampoo.

* * *

Jisung dragged his body into the cafe after Hyunjin had driven him, their lips being almost impossible to separate as he tried to get out of the car. Seungmin had been sitting on the counter once he walked in, their eyes meeting right away. Jisung didn’t know how to feel, he felt a bit guilty about how yesterday went down. He vividly remembered watching Seungmin and Hyunjin kissing. But somehow catching them led to him dating Hyunjin. Seungmin didn’t have feelings for Hyunjin did he?

Seungmin’s lips curled up instantly as his body hopped off the counter, “Tell me everything.” The sentence startled him, why did he want to know so much? Didn’t he at least have some sort of feelings for him if they were kissing? Jisung slowly took off his jacket as he clocked in, Seungmin trailing behind him as he kept asking for details. Jisung tried to ignore it for a bit but he eventually broke once Seungmin dragged him to where they usually talked when they didn’t have any customers to tend to.

“Why are you so desperate? Did you not like him at least a bit when you two made out in your car or when you two kissed like, legit  _ right there _ ?” Jisung whispered yelled as he ran his fingers through his hair, his eyebrows knitting together as he tried to make sense of it all. Seungmin hummed as he looked away for a moment, his lips pursing together thinking to himself for a bit. “Would you believe me if I said I only liked the idea of him?”

Jisung blinked, he definitely understood that reason. It’s the same reason he started to date Hyunjin when they were young, the Hwangs were richer than his family at the time and his parents wanted him to stay in a high up family even if it meant that they were the lower one in the relationship. The idea of him appealed to his parents more than him himself but he still was interested to say the least. Yes, Hyunjin was rather attractive but the idea of having someone to call his own was something that attracted Jisung. Being able to get out of his own parents house was the most appealing part of dating Hyunjin, he hated his house with the biggest passion.

“Yeah actually, I would one hundred percent understand.” His voice broke the momentarily silence between the friends. Seungmin seemed relieved, his eyes meeting Jisung’s once again after hearing the response. “I can’t say I had any real feelings for him but the idea of him was very attractive. Not the fact that he was rich, that part was actually annoying. His parents were stuck up and I didn’t feel comfortable meeting them.” 

“You met his parents?” Jisung’s voice was filled with some sort of emotion he had no idea how to label. Was it shock or was it some sort of jealousy? Seungmin nodded before continuing his speech, “But like I said, they were stuck up. I could feel them judging my every move. We did date for a bit but we never did anything, I feel like I just wasn't at the same level as him. Having you as a rich friend is good enough for me, only one rich person in my life. It’s a quota and I have met it, no more rich men please.”

Jisung’s giggle broke from his lips as he gripped his stomach, his head falling onto Seungmin’s shoulder as his own shoulders shook with laughter. Seungmin pushed him playfully away as he gave a wide smile to Jisung. “Shut up sungie!” Jisung pulled the other into an embrace, his fingers ruffling his light tufts of chestnut hair. “I love you minnie.” Seungmin took his friend’s face in his hands before pecking his cheeks. “Now tell me what you guys did!”

“Seungmin oh my god, okay so we talked for a bit then we kissed then talked some more. Then we had sex and then we talked some more, nothing that interesting.” Seungmin’s jaw dropped before squishing the other’s cheeks together with a look of utter shock. “You two  _ what _ ?” 

“Talked, kissed and had sex? Which part surprises you?” His voice barely made it past his lips as his cheeks pressed together by Seungmin’s hands. “Didn’t you just tell me you sucked Minho off? What’s going on with you?” Jisung didn’t know what to say, he didn’t entirely have an answer, “I..” Seungmin moved his hands as his eyes darted to each part of Jisung’s face, searching for the latter’s expression as it seemed to change into a more upset look. 

“What’s going on with me..”He repeated softly, his lip trembling slightly as he thought to himself for a bit. What was wrong with him? Seungmin was right, he was all over the place but he just couldn’t help it. He didn’t know what he wanted. His lips parted before closing again, his head shaking as he went silent again. 

“Jisung?” Seungmin’s voice was filled with worry, his hands rubbing his arms before pulling him into a tight hug. “What’s going through your beautiful little mind right now?” Jisung gripped the younger’s shirt as he hiccuped softly, his sobs catching in his throat. Their boss turned around the corner, her voice making the two jump as she spoke. “Jisung? Seungmin? What’s happening? Jisung darling, are you okay?”

Jisung cleared his throat before starting with a soft voice, “I’m sorry..I’ll get back to work.” Seungmin’s jaw dropped as he watched Jisung walk away, his hand wiping his eyes. 

“Who hurt you?” The voice cut through the air as Jisung’s wrist was grabbed and his body was tugged to the bar. His eyes narrowed, his irises looking at the hand around his wrist before they moved up to meet contact of Minho. Minho released his grip from his wrist with a soft apology before he studied Jisung’s expression. “What made you cry? Are you okay? You didn’t come home yesterday..”

“I’m fine. I spent the night at Hyunjin’s.” Minho quirked up an eyebrow as he tried to imagine those two in the same room considering how it ended the last time. “You spent the night at Hyunjin’s?” Jisung nodded, his body turned away from the other leaving everyone in an awkward silence. 

“Seungmin what happened? Why was he crying?” Minho leaned over the bar propping up his body with his arms. “Do you think Hyunjin did something again? I’ll fucking kill him..” Seungmin shook his head rapidly as he stood in front of Minho with a frantic look, “No! I actually think they had a good time yesterday.” 

Minho leaned back to stand normally, his eyes watching Jisung work. “Oh..that’s good. I wonder what had him upset though..” Seungmin hummed as he grabbed a few things to wash up as he talked to Minho some more. “Did you two have some sort of fight? Felix said Jisung not only got drunk but also relapsed a bit..I’m worried about him.” Minho sat down at the bar with a solemn look, his eyebrows furrowed remembering every detail. “Kind of..” 

Seungmin looked up from the cup he was drying, his eyes blinking slowly as he listened. “Well, he’s kinda all over the place. Don’t take everything too close to heart. He just seems...confused with the world and what he wants from it.” 

The elder sighed deeply, would Jisung and him ever regain their relationship? Was Jisung going to be mad at him forever? How could he even begin to make up to the other? He thought to himself for a bit before Jisung’s voice broke it up. “Min. Minho. Mr.Lee. Dancer boy.” 

Minho’s eyes shot up to meet with the dark chocolaty color of the younger’s. “Yeah? Sorry I must’ve spaced out.” 

“I can see that. Anyways, my boss won’t leave me alone and is sending me home early since she thinks I’m upset or something.” 

“Are you?”

Jisung stood still upon hearing the question, his hands gripping his jacket before opening his mouth to speak softly. “No, I think I’m just a bit lost. I’m acting more on impulse but in general I think I’m fine.” 

Minho looked deeper into the younger’s eyes, trying to find some sort of sign that he was upset. Worry bubbled in the pit of his stomach as he watched the other move to stand next to him. He’s acting more on impulse? What has he done recently that would make him feel that way? Minho searched his face for a change in emotion but all that was there is Jisung’s eyes staring back with a curious look. 

“Is there something on my face?” His hand wiped his cheek before turning to look into a mirror. Minho shook his head, smiling almost only to have it drop quickly once Jisung turned back. They stared at each other for a moment, Jisung’s eyes lightening up as his lips tugged into a smile. It was the most beautiful smile Minho has ever seen, his eyes crinkling into small moons as his teeth flashed. “Jinnie!”

Minho blinked his shock away, his eyes following the younger’s as his heart sank. Hyunjin stood in the entrance with a gentle smile. “Hey sungie, got your text.” He shook his phone in the air with a toothy grin. Jisung hummed as his body hopped into the other’s arms as his lips pecked Hyunjin’s face. Minho swallowed deeply, his eyes moving back to meet Seungmin’s as the younger’s softened with a tint of sadness.

“Minho I’ll be home tomorrow but I’m gonna stay with Hyunjin again, bye!” Minho waved the two bye as his eyes fixated on Jisung’s smile when he looked over at Hyunjin. He didn’t understand, how could they be looking at eachother like that after what Hyunjin had said in his very own kitchen? Seungmin watched Minho’s expression change as his chest ached. “Say..Minho. I think you should invite some friends over tonight and just let loose. Jisung’s just..being a brat. Like I said, don’t take it too close to heart.”

Minho gave the other a quick smile as he left, his hands shoving into his jeans pockets with a deep sigh. “Hey siri, call the threesome plus Minho group chat.” He pulled his phone to his ear to hear Felix’s voice softly speaking to someone else on the other side. “Felix?” He could hear the other stop in his tracks as he picked up his phone with a hum. “Yes my Minnie?”

“Would you guys like to come and sleep over at my place? I need a guy's night just to chill.” Felix gasped softly, his answer going through the phone speaker excitedly. “Yes! We’ll be there! Let’s get drunk off our asses!” The call ended with a soft chuckle from Minho as he walked into his house, his jacket tossed onto the couch. It wasn’t long until Felix was ramming on his door with Changbin standing next to him, a case of liquor in his hands. Minho glanced around behind the couple trying to find the third of the group. “Where’s Chan?”

“Who cares.” Felix walked into the house with a hum, his hand pulling the edler in as well. Changbin handed out bottles as they sat on the couch. Minho didn’t pry on the topic of Chan as he joined the other two on the couch after taking a bottle. He didn’t like drinking all that much but he had to get his mind off of how Jisung looked at him, his usual smile wasn’t towards him but towards Hyunjin. It was confusing. 

His lips wrapped along the bottle as he tilted his head back, his Adam's apple bobbed as he downed the bottle’s contents. Felix raised his eyebrow, his lips curling up along the bottle rim. “Damn Min, who hurt you? You never drink like that.” Minho moved the bottle from his lips, shame washing over his body as he peered into the almost empty bottle in his hands. “Oh I..” His voice went quiet as Felix stared at him, his cheeks puffing up before he set his bottle on the coffee table. 

“Never mind, you don’t have to say anything. Just drink away and if your drunken self spills then it’ll stay just between us three.” Changbin nodded with a small grin, “Minho, we’ll stay here for you so just get as drunk as you want.” The two boys gave Minho the thumbs up before ending up all over each other as usual. Minho falling into the third wheel position he has been so used to being in before. 

The two were off on the other end of the couch as Minho drank to his heart's content, his vision blurring as his eyes slowly blinked. His irises glanced over at the other two before sighing deeply. They seemed so happy together, as if they were meant to be together. Minho wondered if they ever got in any fights that would end in them splitting up. Did they ever fight like him and Jisung were? Were they really fighting or were they just avoiding each other since that night? His hands gripped the bottle as he sipped from another, and another until he sat on the end of the couch with a straight face. His eyes watering as his mind started to think deeper on the two’s issues.

Why did he push Jisung away in the first place? Didn’t he want something to happen between the two deep down? Ever since the day in the dance studio he knew he couldn’t suppress how he felt for the boy for longer. The way Jisung would smile at him, the way he’d blush slightly when they’d subtly flirt with each other. What did Hyunjin know about Jisung that Minho didn’t? Does he have something that is able to get under the younger’s skin? Minho gripped the bottle as his head bobbed before shooting up then bobbing back down again. He probed his head up with his hand, his elbow resting on the couch to keep his head up properly. 

He didn’t even know what happened, he just felt his shoulders shake as his cheeks stained with streaks of tears. Felix looked over with a soft gasp, he pulled Minho into a tight hug as he spoke softly. “Min..buddy are you okay? Okay nevermind that’s a dumb question, Minho..what’s wrong?” Minho choked back his cries, his words barely making it past his sobs. “I fucked up. I just..I just liked him so much. It’s actually, not past tense. It’s very much in the present tense. I like Jisung. I really do, and..I feel like I’m just the worst person ever. How do you guys do it?” 

Felix clapped his hands together before clearing his throat nervously, “You like Jisung!? Like..you wanna date him?” Changbin whacked Felix’s head with an eye roll before looking into Minho’s teary eyes. “Minho, if you like him you have to tell him. You two can’t just hope for the other one to admit that you two make each other happy. I saw how miserable Jisung was when he was in that foster care with Felix, I’ve also seen how genuine his smile is with you. Think about it.” Changbin pulled Felix back into the corner of the couch as their lips connected sloppily. 

Minho wiped his cheeks with a sigh, his eyes moving to look out the window as he thought about what Changbin had said. Was Jisung really happier with him? Did he ruin it for Jisung? He bit his trembling bottom lip as his cheeks dampened all over again. His head fell into his hands as his shoulders shook, he was a failure. He was supposed to comfort him, he was supposed to keep that smile on his face but has Hyunjin beaten him to that now? Was Hyunjin even good for him? 

Minho gripped his hair as his lips released soft sobs, not even noticing the door opening. Changbin and Felix passed out on the couch as Minho sobbed on the other side of it.

“Minho…?”


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the one where i finally feed u guys with an update again

Minho’s head shot up from the place in his hands, his eyes puffy from the tears. Jisung studied his face with a shocked expression painted on his face. The bottles scattered on the coffee table and couch. 

“Minho what’s happening?” Surely all of those bottles aren’t his are they? Changbin and Felix had been next to him and they seemed to be passed out. Maybe they had too much to drink and Minho was just watching them. Or maybe Jisung was trying to be optimistic with himself.

Minho wiped his eyes with his shirt collar. He cleared his throat as he tried to speak up without breaking down all over again. His eyes glazed over to the younger before he motioned the other closer. Jisung moved closer, his body sitting on the armrest of the couch that Minho was on.

“Jisung, I..” His voice was soft, Jisung had to strain his ears to pick up on it. “Jisung I have something to say to you. But you...you can’t freak out.” His words slurred together almost sounding like a singular sound all together.

“Minho are you drunk off your ass right now? Are you going to say something you’re going to regret in the morning?” Jisung grimaced at the condition Minho had been. His head bobbing to keep him awake and looking at the other sitting next to him. He looked like utter shit to be honest.

Minho pressed his finger to Jisung’s lips to prevent him from saying anything more, his eyes trying to focus on Jisung in his drunken state. He grunted softly as he gave up on trying to focus on a _singular_ Jisung since his vision had been seeing double. He decided to stare at what he had thought was Jisung as he continued to speak.

“Jisung ever since I kissed you I knew that I felt something towards you. It started small and I guess I ignored it but now. It’s so impossible to ignore. Jisung I like you. Like, I really really like you. I wish I could spend the rest of my life with you. You make me so...so happy.”

Jisung’s jaw dropped, his heart slamming in his chest as he listened to the confession from Minho. He didn’t know what to think, it was just the alcohol talking right? Minho couldn’t have possibly liked him. It was just him being lonely and drunk. That was the only logical explanation. It just-- came out of nowhere. It _had_ to be the alcohol speaking.

“Minho get some sleep, I’ll see you in the morning okay? Just pick me up from work..” He moved to his room before walking out again to stare at Minho. Jisung held his blanket to his chest for a while. He didn’t know what he was waiting for, it’s not like Minho was going to be going anywhere. He was safe in his own house so what was he so worried for? He sighed as his body screamed to be moved from the position he had been for at least five minutes. He moved to leave the house, Hyunjin’s car waiting for him in the driveway.

“Did you find it? You took a bit so I just assumed you had lost it or something.” Hyunjin’s voice had an ounce of annoyance attached to it though Jisung couldn’t figure out why. 

“Yeah sorry, Minho wanted to talk for a bit so I took a bit longer than I expected.” That caused Hyunjin’s eyebrow to perk up. “What did he say?”

“Oh, well actually it surprised me. He seemed drunk though he confessed to me. He said ever since we kissed once he had liked me or something. I don’t think he means it but it just confused me. It came out of nowhere so I’m just assuming it's just him being drunk.” 

Hyunjin frowned as he leaned back into his chair, he didn’t even get out of the car to open the door for Jisung or help him carry things like he usually would. Not like it bothered Jisung but it just seemed out of character. He ignored it as he got into the passenger seat, his eyes looking over at his boyfriend wearily. 

“Are you mad?”

Hyunjin flinched at the question. He didn’t entirely expect it but maybe he looked more pissed than he thought he did. He sighed deeply before turning to look at Jisung, his eyes staring holes through the younger. 

“Yeah, I kinda am. But not at you, you didn’t do anything. I’m more mad at myself that I waited too long to make it up with you. I waited too long and now Minho is trying to take what is mine and it makes me pissed.”

Jisung scrunched up his nose as Hyunjin spoke. It sounded weird to hear the words ‘Minho take what is mine’ and have it referred to Jisung. Hyunjin must have noticed Jisung’s reaction since he started to chuckle softly. His arm pulled the other into his lap as their lips met just barely. 

“Ignore it Jisung. I’m not mad at you, and by the time it hits in the morning I’ll probably be over it. Don’t stress it.” 

Jisung nodded, his hands wrapping his blanket around his body as he snuggled into Hyunjin’s embrace as the other drove off from Minho’s house. Street lights illuminating Jisung’s face as they passed. Without the random streaks of light, the night sky would have made him more sleepy than he already seemed. He hoped with all his body he could sleep tonight. His mind raced with thoughts of what Minho said.

Did Minho know what he said? And more importantly did he mean what he said? Jisung laid in Hyunjin’s bed as he thought hard about those two things. Hyunjin had his arms wrapped around him, his snores being the only thing that made noise in the room they shared. Jisung wanted so badly to ignore what Minho said but he couldn’t. It bothered him.

He had felt the same for Minho but he also felt like that towards Hyunjin. Or at least he thinks he does. He does doesn’t he? Why else would he want to be with Hyunjin?He felt comfortable with him so he must have some sort of feelings for the other man. It confused him and he hated it. He didn’t know what to think at all. He just wanted something stable to hang on to. Just for a second he wanted to have a stable life where he hadn’t had such things on his mind so often. Would Minho be giving him what he wanted? If they both felt the same way?

He woke up to Hyunjin’s alarm and Hyunjin shifting in the bed they shared. Jisung never noticed himself actually falling asleep so when he sat up in bed and looked at the clock it surprised him. He remembered the screen displaying 3:42AM last time he checked but now it showed 10. He rubbed his eyes before looking up at his boyfriend groggily. 

“Good morning babe, want a shower before you go to work?” 

Hyunjin’s voice was soft as if he were talking to a baby, his lips pressing onto Jisung’s forehead as he waited for a reply from the other. 

“Yeah, but I can wait until you’re done. You know how I like cold water anyways so you can use all the hot water and I’ll shower afterwards.” Jisung got up from the bed though Hyunjin pulled him over to his closet then towards his bathroom with a smile. 

“Jisung it’s a lot quicker if we shower together. Don’t you think?”

Jisung nodded though he wasn’t so sure. It could go one of two ways, Hyunjin could have it his way and have the water hot and have his own shower with Jisung waiting to turn the water cold once he leaves or Hyunjin could actually have the water cold and he’d take a quicker shower. In the end it sort of ends the same way, Jisung waits for Hyunjin to finish then takes his own shower.

They stood in the shower for a bit longer than Jisung would have liked before Hyunjin turned the water on. It was a pleasant surprise that he kept it on the colder side but he didn’t move into the water right away. The water barely got his head wet as he pulled Jisung into a hug. The two submerging into the water together. It was a nice feeling on Jisung’s end, he nuzzled his head into Hyunjin’s neck as the water flowed down his back from his hair.

“This isn’t too cold for you is it?” Jisung spoke up softly as he grabbed his boyfriend’s shampoo with a huge grin. He loved the way the cold water hit his skin, it felt refreshing to him. 

“No it’s fine, if it’s what you like. It’s not all that bad.” He took his shampoo from Jisung before pouring some into his hand and running it through Jisung’s hair. It felt a bit odd to have someone do it for him since Jisung sure as hell wasn’t a child anymore. Nor did his mother usually do this for him when he _was_ a kid.

He couldn’t help it, he burst into laughter as he did the same for Hyunjin. “This is so stupid, this won’t make our shower quicker it’ll just slow you down.” He ran his fingers through Hyunjin’s long hair with a smile. “Stupid..”

Hyunjin ruffled Jisung’s locks with a smirk before moving to do his own hair after nudging Jisung away. “Go rinse out your hair instead of complaining.” The two smiled brightly at each other, Jisung had almost forgotten what Minho had said earlier.

_Almost._

Jisung wiped down the counter as Seungmin blabbered about some guy he met on Tinder but wasn’t sure if he was ready to meet or something. Jisung would be lying if he said he was listening fully. His mind was on other things. He sighed as he turned around to put everything away and clock out but he heard the door chime. “I’m sorry we’re cl--” His words dropped as his lips perked up into a grin. He waved at Hyunjin before going back to what he was doing, leaving Seungmin mid sentence. 

Hyunjin had walked in, his first instinct was to hop the counter and kiss Jisung but then his eyes caught a glance of Minho in the corner of the store. He frowned for a moment but it quickie disappeared once Jisung noticed him. His heart fluttered as he watched his boyfriend wave him away before he went back to working. 

Once Jisung was out of sight his smile faltered and he was back to frowning at the other male. He found himself walking to his table and before he knew it his fist was curled and it met Minho’s nose in seconds flat. Minho held his face for a moment, his eyes stuck to the table before they looked up with a death glare towards Hyunjin.

“What the fuck was that for!?” His voice ripped through the silence of the shop. His head ached already from his hangover and the random _punch_ from Hyunjin sure wasn’t helping it.

“Stay away from my boyfriend, Minho.”

Hyunjin’s voice cut through the air, though Minho had no idea what he was referring to. It wasn’t like Minho was making any moves on people he knew was taken. His face must have explained it all since Hyunjin spoke up again. 

“Just stay away from Jisung.”

Minho wiped the blood that came from his nose by the back of his hand before he landed his own punch onto Hyunjin’s nose. Seungmin jumped at the action, he had just walked into the dinning room and he didn’t expect to see two males fighting. Hyunjin grunted as he stumbled back a steps with a dark look. “You little bitch.”

Minho smirk as he rubbed his fist, “Man I thought it was a rumor when all the people said you’re head is hollow. But now I know, it’s fucking stone. You don’t have any thoughts, just rock solid.” He shook out his hand before landing another punch. Hyunjin gripped Minho’s shirt when he stumbled into the wall. If the two didn’t have the utter hatred in their eyes and if Minho’s nose wasn’t trickling with blood it would have looked almost romantic in a way.

Jisung walked out to the scene, his eyes widening like saucers as he watched Hyunjin corner Minho and have his fist hit his arms that were covering his head until he gave in and moved. Jisung watched as Hyunjin gave Minho a large blow that would most definitely bruise or even give him a black eye if he had hit higher.

“Hyunjin stop!” His voice was more of a shrill squeak as he tried to yell out to his boyfriend. Minho looked up at Jisung only to get another hit thrown to his face. He held his face as Hyunjin moved away and dropped him down into a chair. Jisung looked up at Hyunjin with terror running through his veins. 

“What are you doing..?” His voice was shaky as he looked at Minho then back at his boyfriend for a bit only to look back at Minho. Minho never once looked back up after Hyunjin had hit him the last time. His hands were shaking as he tried to wipe the blood away. Hyunjin only glared at him, his eyes only slightly softening when he looked back at Jisung. His arm grabbed Jisung’s as he dragged the younger out of the store with soft grumbles. The door slamming behind the two. 

Minho swallowed hard as his eyes slowly looked up, Seungmin standing by his table with a wet rag in hand. 

“Here, um..I..uh. I’ll do it.” He sat on the table as he took Minho’s face in his hands carefully. He wiped away the blood with a slight frown. Minho’s skin was already starting to bruise slightly. 

“What even started that fight? Do you know..” His voice was soft as he pulled out the first aid kit, his hand gently dabbing at the skin that had cut open by his cheek. Minho was silent though, he didn’t seem like he wanted to talk that much in the moment. Which was understandable Seungmin supposes. Maybe his pride was bruised as well as his face, having Hyunjin beat you in public couldn’t be too good for your ego.

“You don’t have to tell me, I just hope everything’s okay up in here.” 

Seungmin tapped Minho’s forehead before hopping off the table to continue to clean up the lobby since Hyunjin had taken Jisung away from work a bit sooner than Seungmin would have wanted. He hummed along to the radio as he worked, he never even noticed when Minho left. 

* * *

“What the fuck was that!?” Jisung threw his hands up in the air as Hyunjin sat on the couch, his teeth nibbling his nails as Jisung stood in front of him with such a dark glare. “What part of you made it okay to just go punching people?!”  
  


“He punched back.”  
  
“I don’t fucking care! You kept going. You didn’t stop! You legit made him _bleed_. Hyunjin that’s not okay! What were you thinking?!” 

Jisung’s voice was a shriek as he paced the floor. His face red from so much anger cooped up in his body. He hadn’t said a word when Hyunjin drove him to his place but he couldn't stay silent for much longer. He stopped his pacing to glare at his boyfriend for a moment when the other hadn’t answered his question.

“I don’t want you hanging out with Minho anymore.”

Jisung was dumbfounded, his jaw must have dropped since Hyunjin scoffed at his reaction. Jisung wanted to rip his hair out he couldn’t believe what just came out of Hyunjin’s mouth. He didn’t want him to be hanging out with Minho anymore!? He lived with Minho! What did Hyunjin want from him? 

“You do know I _live_ with him don’t you?”

“Yeah and I want you to stop. Live with me instead. It bothers me that you live with him when you’re dating me.”

Jisung scoffed he really couldn’t believe what Hyunjin was saying now. It was ridiculous. It bothers Hyunjin that he lives with someone that isn’t him? Jisung could understand that but it wasn’t an issue before. Hyunjin had never brought up that it bothered him that Jisung lived with Minho. Where did all of this come from?

“Why does it bother you all of a sudden? You have never said anything about this before. What makes now so different?” 

Jisung’s words were harsh but he didn’t feel bad about it, he felt like his tone of voice was justified in the moment. Hyunjin was being annoying and he had no reason to hit Minho like he did that morning. He hadn't even tried to explain why he did it either, he just changed the topic all together once he was asked. 

“It bothers me because he likes you. I don’t want you to be living with someone who likes you unless it’s me. I want to make sure you’re safe.”

“Do you want to make sure I’m safe or do you just not trust me to maintain my normal friendship with Minho without it turning into something else? Do you really not trust me to live with someone else who isn’t you?”

Hyunjin frowned deeply before beginning to speak up, his arms crossing over his chest tightly. “No. I don’t trust you. I think you two have a thing and I don’t trust that he won’t do something and you’ll melt like putty in his hands. You’re weak Jisung. Why can’t you fucking see that?”

Jisung blinked in surprise, he didn’t expect Hyunjin to act like this, he seemed so sincere a few days ago. Now he’s back to being his usual self towards Jisung. It’s pathetic that Jisung thought he could have changed.

“To think you changed. I guess I am weak because I had fell for your stupid act again didn’t I Hyunjin?” Jisung scoffed as he wiped his tears with one hand as the other pushed the elder away. He started to gather his things before giving Hyunjin one last glare.

“This time, I’m fucking breaking up with you and not coming back. You can go fuck yourself. Follow your own advice and stay away from Minho. Stay away from me too while you’re at it.”

And with that hanging in the air, Jisung slammed the door shut behind him leaving Hyunjin standing in his living room with a perplexed look underneath a slight frown.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry its a bit shorter than usual but i hope you enjoy this! im sorry it took so long to update but i hope you enjoy this drama filled chapter <3


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the one thats full of dramatic stuff

Jisung stormed into the house grumbling to himself, his hand slamming the door causing Minho to jump as he tried to pour himself a cup of coffee. 

“God! He acts like he fucking owns me. Like I’m some doll on a string to go, do do da do~. I’m not some stupid...erm..”

“Puppet.”

“Puppet! I’m not some stupid puppet for him to play with! I’m my own fucking person and I have feelings too! I can’t beli-” Jisung blinked as he noticed Minho staring at him from his spot in the kitchen. Minho even gave him the word he was looking for but he was so cooped up about his own problems he didn’t even notice the main one right in front of him.

He took one glance at Minho’s face and his lips instantly formed a worried frown. Minho’s lip had been busted open and a huge bruise rested under his eye. His nose seemed swollen and his eyes...his eyes looked  _ so  _ tired. 

Jisung moved to stand in front of the elder, his hands gently cupping Minho’s cheeks as he took a closer look at his injuries. 

Minho put down his coffee before hesitantly wrapping his hands around Jisung. Jisung quickly pulled him into a tight embrace as a deep sigh escaped his lips. 

“I’m so sorry. All I do is cause trouble for you. It seems to kinda follow me around.”

Minho pulled back from the hug but his arms stayed wrapped around Jisung’s waist loosely, “You think you’re a problem? Jisung you are far from being a problem to me. You’re just a bit confused. You have so much on your mind it amazes me how you end up functioning half the time. Your strength is something I admire so much about you. You don’t think you have it do you?”

“No, I don’t. I know I’m weak. I fall for the same trick everytime and I rely on stupid things to get me through the day, Minho you don’t know just how weak I am on the inside. I have literally caused you nothing but trouble. I can’t see the light in this situation.” 

Minho frowned as he shifted his weight, his arms dropping to his sides. “Then you’re not looking hard enough. What I see when I look at you is someone in pain. Someone who needs something but has no idea what it is. So they keep searching and hoping that the pain will go away but they’re using the wrong things to cope with it. I see someone who needs to let another in but is too hurt to trust that that other person will help guide them to the right path. But on top of all that hurt, is something beautiful. When you get glimpses of that path, your smile is so amazing. It’s gorgeous. Besides, if trouble is the price I pay to be around you.. Then I welcome it with open arms.”

Jisung took all of that in for a moment before frowning slightly. “Are you still drunk?”

Minho scoffed, his body moving back to his spot in the kitchen. He grabbed his coffee and took a slow sip before playfully glaring at the younger.

“It’s a serious question! You’re acting so weird, you legit called me beautiful like four times but also like, a depressed loser in the same sentence.”

“I’m not drunk.”

There was silence for a moment, the only sound being heard was the soft ticking of the clock on the wall. 

“I actually wanted to talk to you about what you said while you were drunk though. If that’s okay..” Jisung looked over at the other as he practically choked on his own coffee. Minho wiped his lip, his nose scrunching in pain only to have more pain painted on his face from his nose.

“Actually, hold on..” 

Jisung pulled Minho onto the couch before disappearing in the bathroom. He came out with his hands clutching the first aid kit. Minho rolled his eyes but he didn’t protest as the younger sat next to him and investigated his face.

“I’m so sorry..this looks so awful. He..”

Jisung’s lip trembled as his thumb ran along Minho’s lip. It was definitely somewhat swollen and the cut on it looked horrid. It must have been from Hyunjin’s rings considering it was also cut on his cheek and nose. 

Minho didn’t say a word, his body was frozen in place as Jisung’s soft hands cupped his face with all the care in the world. He closed one of his eyes as the younger dabbed at the cut under it. It felt weird to be taken care of like this. He was a grown man, he didn’t need someone else tending to his wounds. 

“You should be laying down! With...with ice! You literally got beaten up! Like, maybe an hour ago!” Jisung pushed his body down onto the couch, his hand pushing on his chest to make sure he stayed down. Minho grunted as his head hit the armrest before he readjusted himself as Jisung ran off to the kitchen.

“I’m fine. I don’t need you babying me Jisung.” 

Jisung ignored him as he carefully placed an ice pack onto his forehead. “Did you know he got you really bad up here? Where your hair covers it?” Jisung’s fingers ran through Minho’s strands before landing on tender skin causing the elder to hiss softly in pain.

“See? You need to ice it. Take a nap. We can talk later.” 

Before Minho could protest Jisung had left him laying on the couch with an ice pack on his head. It felt soothing sure but he wasn’t all that tired. His eyes moved to stare at the ceiling with a flat expression on his face. He didn’t remember when his eyes ended up closing but once they opened he was in a different location than he started. He slowly sat up, the ice pack that was on his head falling into his lap. He would’ve thought that it would be melted by now but it seemed as if Jisung had replaced it with another.

Minho sighed deeply as his eyes peered in his mirror. His eyes were full of exhaustion. It must have worried the younger to see him like this, tired and beaten up. His body slowly made its way to the living room only to find it empty just like he left it. Where was Jisung?

He peered into the younger’s room, his lips tugging into a small smile as he watched Jisung dance along to a video playing softly.

“You’re a bit off beat.”

Jisung could’ve swore he felt his soul leave his body as he jumped. Minho’s voice was so sudden he never expected the silence to be broken. He looked over his shoulder before laughing nervously.

“Am I?”

“Are you nervous of being in my dance group so much that you’re learning new dances? You don’t need to worry, they were very impressed with you.”

Jisung hummed as his fingers fiddled with the buttons on his phone, his thumb slipping over the power button before eventually turning off his screen.

“How are you feeling?”

He looked at Minho full on as he changed the topic back to Minho. His eyes full to the brink in worry. Minho couldn’t help but feel guilty. He was the source of all that worry but he had no idea how to ease it.

“I have a headache but otherwise I’m fine. Didn’t you say you wanted to talk earlier? Let’s talk.”

Jisung nibbled on his fingernails as he recalled the conversation clearly. His mind instantly jumbling with thoughts as he tries to calculate the best way to start the conversation at hand.

“Is it about me telling you I liked you?”

Jisung blinked in shock, he was sure his eyes were as wide as saucers but Minho’s expression never changed. His lips formed a straight line. The only reaction he gave was a small quirk of his eyebrow as if to say ‘is it?’

“Yeah..considering you remember it answers at least two of my questions.”

Minho hummed as he made himself comfortable in Jisung’s room. His body plopping into his desk chair, his eyes gluing themselves onto the younger before speaking up.

“I remember it very clearly. I can understand how confused you probably were..you can ask whatever. I feel like I owe that to you at least.”

Jisung took a deep breath as he settled into sitting on the edge of his bed. His mind screamed all his questions at once it was hard to just pinpoint one at a time. His lips opened but no sound came out as he tried to pick only one of them. 

“I guess I’m just confused on how much of it you meant. Like, you were drunk and we’ve established before that we weren’t doing anything with each other...right?”

Minho shifted in his chair, his eyes faltering as they moved away from their stare at the younger. “I meant every word. I really do like you Jisung. I apologize that was the way I ended up confessing but..I do really like you.”

Jisung’s cheeks puffed up as he held his breath, he didn’t know what to think. He had no idea how he felt about Minho and he felt as if he owed the other an answer. Did he like him back or did he just like the idea of having someone? He nibbled on his cheek as he tried to think about it.

“Don’t think too hard about it Jisung. I’m not expecting you to like me back or anything. I recognize that I pushed you away and that may have come as a red flag to you. I know I made it seem like I wasn’t interested in such a relationship and I take the full blame for that. That’s on me, I was being stupid. I toyed with your feelings and I’m so sorry I had led you on in anyway. I realized this a bit too late didn’t I?”

Jisung let out the breath he was holding in a long exhale before looking at Minho. He didn’t have an answer for that, he had no idea if it was too late for them. He had no idea what was going on in his head let alone Minho’s.

“I don’t know. In all honesty, I don’t know what I’m feeling. Everything with Hyunjin makes me want to shy away from being with someone but then you come and confess and it’s throwing me through a loop. I have no idea what’s good for me anymore and I have no idea what I want in life. I feel like I should take a break to just figure myself out.”

He hesitated for a bit, the silence killed him as if squeezed him until more words spilled out of his mouth.

“But..I’m scared that I’ll take too long to figure myself out and you’ll lose interest.”

His voice drifted at the end, he didn’t want to admit to himself that Minho had liked him. It was such a hard thing to grasp. It came almost out of nowhere didn’t it? Or was he so oblivious to the world around him? Had he been so focused on making Hyunjin proud of him that his vision was blinded to miss out on the clues Minho had been giving him? 

Minho had stayed silent the whole time, he rocked in his chair before softly beginning to speak. 

“I can not begin to fathom your self confidence. What caused it to stoop so low..who hurt you Jisung?”

Jisung blinked as he tried to keep all his emotions in check. He felt as if a waterfall of tears were on the verge of falling out at any minute. Who hurt him? Where would he even begin? His parents? He sighed before shaking his head, he couldn’t answer that question.

“I’m not a strong person..before I let someone in I want to regain my confidence. I’m scared to make promises and then break them. I’m afraid to fall, I can’t love someone when I’m not brave enough to love myself. I feel like I’d be pushing you down and you don’t deserve that, you deserve to prosper and shine.”

“You build yourself and then you tear yourself down twice as fast. Jisung you are destructive of yourself and as much as I want you to find yourself and find out what you want, I’m scared you’re going to also destroy yourself. You don’t need to go through this all alone, Jisung you are a  _ human _ . You aren’t some machine that can turn off your emotions. You can only take so much until you’ve had enough and you crash and burn. Let me hold your hand in this journey.”

Jisung buried his head into his hands as he let out a shaky sigh, he hated how spot on Minho was. He knew Jisung more than Jisung knew himself. He didn’t want his destructive behavior to affect Minho but it seemed like he was stuck like glue with him. There was no way he’d be able to deny that it would be better for him to have someone be by his side. 

“I want you to promise me something.”

“Anything, Jisung honestly. Anything..”

Jisung lifted his head from his hands as tears sprawled out from his eyes, his lips trembling as he tried to regain his composure. He could see Minho’s expression shift in worry, his eyebrows furrowing together as he watched Jisung shamble into pieces right in front of him.

“I can fake a smile and I can force a laugh. I can dance and play a part if that’s what people want from me. But I want you to call me out on that, I know I shouldn’t keep pushing myself down to make sure everyone likes me. I’d rather be hated than loved for something that I’m not. I act as if I’m a machine and I turn off and on emotions to match what someone else needs. I know I can do that but it’s such an unhealthy habit of mine. I know I’m the worst so I always act like I’m this amazing person and I’m just...not.”

Minho shifted his weight as he listened to the younger, his teeth nibbling his nail as he thought about what was being said carefully. His head nodding slowly at each of the points made.

“I set myself up, you're right. Hyunjin made me feel like there was nothing left of me. He made me feel like I’m this huge building that he’s just waiting to bulldoze and tear down any chance he gets. I feel like it makes him feel better watching me suffer. It makes him feel like he has the power or something and I know that you’re nothing like that but my mind screams at me to stop any and every possible relationship as if it’ll end the same way. I’m scared to take that extra step out of my comfort zone, I’m scared I’ll set myself up again and something will tear me down again. I continuously set myself up for failure with Hyunjin and it’s trained my brain to think everyone is like that I guess.”

“You’ve been acting really tough lately. You’re setting up this barrier but I know deep down there’s the real you. It’s okay to have a weak spot, it’s amazing that you’re admitting it to yourself. You don’t always have to be on top, you’re vulnerable and that’s  _ okay.  _ You’re not unreachable and neither is having a love life. Don’t make it out of reach because Hyunjin set it there. You’re capable of loving someone, you’re just troubled. It makes you seem less of a robot when you show these emotions don’t you think? You’ve been with the people who tear you down and you haven’t experienced someone who’s ready to commit you. You don’t know how to commit because no one has committed to you. You don’t like or trust people easily because that's what you’ve been exposed to, am I right?”

Jisung had laid down at this point, his hands running through his hair as he listened closely to every word Minho had said. “I wish you could teach me how to  _ feel _ .” He let out a shaky laugh, though it was short lived when Minho didn’t react. 

“You’re spot on. You’re right, about everything. Per usual.”

“Don’t give me so much credit. You express all these emotions without even noticing, I am only noticing them. I’m merely pointing out my observations to you in hopes that it helps your situation.”

“I’d like to say I like you too Minho, but please let me figure everything out first.”

“Of course.”

Jisung sat back up, their eyes finally meeting after what seemed like forever. Jisung’s mind was full of everything Minho had said. To his surprise it wasn’t utter chaos, it was all fitting to place. Everything Minho had said was true and fit together nicely. 

“I’m sorry you have to wait for my dumbass. My mind is screaming, ‘don’t do love.’ like over and over again but I think it’s just fear trying to take over any rational I have left. I want to have more than a one track mind, I think I was approaching things too recklessly and thus my fear possessed me when things went down to shit. I recognize that I’m very machine like when it comes to emotions so..I’d like to work on that before I try to commit myself to someone. Especially someone like you, Minho.”   
  
“If it means you’ll feel more comfortable with yourself..I’ll wait however long you need. I only want what’s best for you. Don’t be afraid of me losing interest, I could fall in love with you all over again every day. I think you’re really brave for doing this Jisung. I’m really proud that you want to find yourself despite every single force against you. It’s something I fell in love with.”

Jisung’s words were caught in his throat, Minho had dropped the L bomb and even though it surprised him it strangely comforted him in a way. As if he was one step closer to actually being happy in his own shoes. He let a sigh escape his lips before moving to wipe his eyes.

“I wish you came into my life sooner…”

Minho hummed as his body moved to sit next to Jisung’s. His hand moved the youngers as he brought a tissue to his wet eyes. “I know you told me you didn’t believe in fate but..I know I was sent to you on that day for a reason. If I had come any sooner you wouldn't be able to find yourself on your own. I would never be able to forgive myself. Despite that, you’ve done amazing even if you don’t think so. You haven’t relapsed in a while and you are sharing more of your feelings with people. Time had brought us together when it felt it was right, let your mind get rid of the past. You focus on it too much, live in the now..even if it’s scary and unknown. We’ll get through it together okay?”

Jisung nodded before collapsing onto Minho’s shoulder as his sobs echoed against the walls. Minho moved a hand to gently rub the younger’s back as he listened to the younger sob. His heart broke as the younger kept talking despite his shaky breaths.

“At this point I just tear myself down to make sure I’m alive still. I don’t want the world to see me like this, I feel like I was just made to be broken. But I want to be the real me, I want you to know the real me. The one that’s able to be happy, the one you fell in love with..”

“I didn’t fall in love with a part of you Jisung, I fell for all of you. Your faults and your strengths. You’re just so troubled with what you want in life and that’s okay, I told you I’d help you along and wait for you didn’t I? I meant every single word. I love you Jisung. Every part of you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im trying to update my fics more cuz a lot of you seem VERY invested rn. i hope i dont disappoint


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the one where minho brings out the big guns

Jisung’s eyes slowly opened as the sunlight settled onto his eyelids. He lifted his head from it’s spot on Minho’s chest. How did he even get in this position? His eyes scanned the room before recognizing some of its features. It was Minho’s bedroom. His hands pushed up his body as he sat up, his eyes moving to study the elder laying next to him. His lips curled into a slight smile as his hands moved to run through his hair but stopped midway.

His ears picked up a faint sound from the living room, it sounded like someone was knocking on the door. His smile was already gone as he sat on the bed with a thousand emotions running through his body. The knocking got louder. It felt as if it were echoing in Jisung’s ears.

He didn’t even notice Minho sitting up next to him until he had gotten up to start walking out of his room. Jisung panicked. He grabbed the back of Minho’s shirt to stop him from leaving him in his room alone.

“Wait- let me come with..”

Minho looked over his shoulder before moving over slightly so Jisung could stand next to him. They walked to the door, Minho’s face dark as the knocks got more persistent. Jisung practically hid behind the elder as he opened the door, his eyes slowly gazed over his shoulder only to feel his heart drop.

He started to back away only to have the person start to walk towards him. The male’s shoulder pushed Minho to the side before cornering Jisung into a wall. 

“So this is where you’ve been hiding. You’re playing a dangerous game, you know that? Mr.Han..”

Jisung gulped as he tried to look away but the man moved to stay in his gaze. Jisung felt his breaths catch in his throat. How did he even find him? There was no way his parents cared that much to send  _ him.  _ How did they even know he was living here though? Were they watching over him even now? After telling the whole world he was dead in some ditch?

“What do y-you want Jackson..” 

The elder smirked as he sensed Jisung’s fear from his voice. He was instructed not to hurt the boy but no one said he couldn’t toy with the boys emotions a bit. His eyes moved to the other male in the room. His eyes showed no emotion but his eyebrows furrowed in a way it was obvious he was worried.

“You parents wanted you back home. You know they could arrest this guy for technically kidnapping you. You were sixteen when you ran away remember? Wouldn’t want that to happen would you?”

Jisung’s eyes widened as he glanced over at Minho before glaring at the elder with all the courage he could muster. His legs felt weak, his heart was pounding in his chest. His head ached but he had to stand up for himself.

“They don’t care enough about me to get someone arrested.”

“You know, I could just let you figure that out the hard way couldn’t I? They said if you put up a fight I could leave but the police would be here shortly after so you two wouldn’t be alone for long.”

Jackson smirked as he watched Jisung melt like putty in his grasp, he obviously had some sort of connection with the male standing on the other side of the room. His head moved to the side as the other spoke up finally.

“Jisung just go. I’ll be okay..this isn’t goodbye. I’ll see you later.”

Jisung’s mouth dropped, he let his guard down letting Jackson take the opportunity. His arm was gripped by the elder as he was dragged out of the house. He didn’t even register what was happening until Minho stood in the door frame watching Jackson try to get Jisung to get into his car.

Jisung pushed and screamed as his hands reached for the other in the door frame. His cheeks soaked as Jackson put up a better fight, his body flopping into the car’s passenger side. Before he could react the door was shut in his face. He pressed his head to the window as he watched Minho become smaller and smaller as they drove away.

“You were always such a brat. I would’ve thought you grew up a bit within the three years of being away from your old life but I guess not. Same old Jisung. It’s a miracle your parents want to give you a second chance.”

Jackson’s voice went on and on but Jisung stopped listening. He had his legs pulled to his chest as his elbows rested against his knees. His hands gripped his hair as his head pounded. His breathing was shaky, his body was bubbling with so many thoughts and feelings. He had gotten so overwhelmed he didn’t even notice Jackson pulling up the hood to his hoodie before tugging him out of the car. 

His eyes scanned his surroundings with utter terror running through his veins. Anxiety crept into him, growing upon every step closer to his old house. He tried to gulp down these emotions as he had stopped in front of the door with Jackson by his side. There was no way out of this situation. Not a single exit. He was stuck here.

He snuck a glance at Jackson as his mind tried to wander to something else than the current situation. Jackson used to be a childhood friend, in fact he was his first crush. His parents had thought it was adorable for Jisung to like someone old enough to take care of him. They had tried setting the two up but it was obvious Jackson found Jisung laughable. Ever since the failed attempt they had used Jackson to get under Jisung’s skin. It worked every time.

The door opened revealing Jisung’s mother. She looked as if she was expecting the president to be over. Her face was covered in endless amounts of makeup, more than usual it seemed. What was the occasion? Surely it wasn’t Jisung coming home, he was dead to everyone. There was no way she’d host some party or something for his homecoming.

Her eyes lit up as she cupped Jisung’s cheeks. Jisung’s whole body tensed up though he prayed she hadn’t noticed. His eyes shut as his face scrunched up. His mother pulled him into a tight hug, his voice muffled into his hoodie as she spoke into his shoulder. 

Jisung didn’t hear any of it, it was if he had turned it off. His body was completely shut off. He cut off almost any emotion. All but fear, fear refused to be turned off. It raged as it took over Jisung once his father walked into the room. He had no power over his emotions, it was just absolute fear coursing through his body. 

“Thank you Jackson, I knew I could count on you to bring him back to where he belonged.”

Jisung almost fell to his knees as his father gripped his shoulders with so much strength it snapped him out of his thoughts. He wanted to grab Jackson’s arm and beg him to take him back but he was already out of the door before the thought managed to cross his mind.

“Let’s catch up, shall we son?”

* * *

Jisung sat on the couch curled up in a big blanket. He had the blanket pulled over his head as if he could hide from his neverending nervousness. What did his parents want from him? Were they going to arrest Minho even when he cooperated with them? His father had been sitting a ways away from him, his face covered by a newspaper. His mother was in the kitchen yelling at some staff for not cooking enough to feed Jisung even when they had no idea he’d be there.

The TV had been playing softly in the background, supposedly left on for Jisung to watch but he hadn’t looked up from his shaking hands for the past hour. He hasn’t been able to calm himself down during the whole time he had been there. His ears gently picking up the speaker on the TV as he tried to finally focus on something else.

“ _ Upon seeing suspicious activity call the number 911 for an immediate response” _

He moved his hands to cover his ears as he tried to ignore it. The constant reminders of Minho’s safety. Is he alright? Did Jackson actually send cops to Minho’s house or was that just a threat to get him to cooperate with him? He gripped his hair strands, his eyes shutting tightly as he tried to keep down the scream that was creeping up his throat.

“Turn off the TV.”

He surprised himself that he was able to speak. His father peeked over the newspaper before shrugging it off as he called for a staff member. The TV was turned off but the speaker’s words still echoed through his head. As if it were still on and stuck on repeat. It echoed louder and louder as if it were egging Jisung on until he gave into his anxiety. It felt like his ears were on fire, like they were to explode. As if they were bleeding. He looked up at the ceiling but the light above him made him look back down. The light shined brighter than usual it seemed. He moved the blanket off his shoulders as his body started to feel like it was in an oven. 

It was all too much, he had just broken up with Hyunjin and opened up to Minho only to have him snatched away from him. He should be fine, but he wasn’t. He curled up as he finally let the scream loose, his eyes tightly shut as his hair was tugged by his fingers. He had no idea what had come over him. It had felt like he was a whole different person entirely. 

The whole household paused to look at Jisung upon hearing his scream. The staff cluttered around him as they bombarded him with questions. His eyes opened only to find faces upon faces staring at him. Everywhere he looked there was a face staring back at him. He needed more space but he couldn’t even speak up. His anxiety had a tight grasp on him. His breath kept getting caught in his throat. He felt like he was dying, as if he couldn’t get enough air. It kept him silent while he tried to speak up. It left him staring at the people around him like a deer in headlights.

There was too much stimulation, his mind was screaming for a break but he knew he wouldn’t be able to get one if this had kept it up. His mother eventually pushed her way through the crowd. Her voice booming over everyone telling them to get back to work. Jisung stared up at her, the crowd gone as she stood alone looking back at him with worry painted on her face. 

“Leave him be, he’s just being too sensitive. He was always like that. Darling just leave him there, he’ll calm himself down.”

Jisung’s mother looked at her husband before looking back at her son. She eventually left his side, leaving Jisung as he tried to catch his breath. His shoulders heaving as his fingers clutched his chest. He eventually got up from the couch and stumbled into the hallway leading to his bedroom. It had felt like the walls were closing in on him, he dropped to his knees as he let out another scream. Though no staff rushed to his side this time. He was all alone in the long hallway as it closed in on him.

He laid on the ground as his sobs erupted from his mouth, the only sound he was able to produce. He wanted to be in Minho’s arms so badly, he wished with all his heart to be with the elder. His lips trembled as he whispered softly. “M-min…”

His phone somehow picked up on his voice, the dialing tone ringing through his ears. 

“Jisung? Are you alright? Sungie, can you hear me?”

Minho’s voice ran through his mind. His hand fishing his phone out of his pocket as he rested it next to his head. He couldn’t move from his spot on the floor. He closed his eyes as he focused on Minho’s voice. He was safe, he had his phone and he answered his call right away.

“Jisung how are you holding up? Considering you have answered I’m assuming you’re not doing so well. But hey...let me do something that I wanted to do earlier but we were kind of fighting. I wrote you a song. Well, Changbin helped a lot but it’s the thought that counts right?”

Jisung heard him get up from his spot, his fingers were typing something on his laptop before he came back to his phone. Jisung kept his eyes closed as he tried to focus on calming his breathing along with every little sound that Minho gave him.

“I was hanging with you and then I realized. I didn’t think it was true, I was surprised. When I found out I had fallen for you. I didn’t wanna believe my feelings for you. I didn’t wanna believe that I could lose you. But I can’t help it, I’m falling for you. And I can’t quit it cause I’m stuck on you. It may be pathetic and you may be skeptical but I just want to be with you. I~...I’m still falling for you.”

His voice was soft as Jisung listened to the soft beat that was playing from Minho’s laptop as he sang. His eyes slowly opened to stare at his camera. Minho smiled with a slight wave as he noticed Jisung was finally looking back at him.

“It’s super cringey but..you seemed like you needed something to get your nerves down. I can send you the file of our recording if you want. That way you can listen to it whenever.”

Minho’s voice was soft as he stared at Jisung with nothing but love. Jisung felt his body get warm as he was able to finally crack a smile. His eyes watering as he watched Minho type away at his laptop so he could send the file over. 

“Do you need me to get you out of there? You’re an adult and I’m not scared of them. I can face them and get you out of there. I have paperwork proving that when you ran away you were admitted into an orphanage and were released once you were too old to be passed from house to house. I’ll keep the causing trouble and the fact that you almost got arrested out. All I’m saying is, I can and will get you out of there if you want me to.”

Jisung perked an eyebrow up as he stared back at Minho dumbfounded. No one has ever dared to stick up for him when his parents were involved. Not even Hyunjin would when they were dating. Minho couldn’t be serious. Did he even know who his parents are? There’s no way he’d be able to say the same thing if he knew.

“You seem to be doubting me. I’ll see you tomorrow. Listen to my song tonight and try to get some rest, I’ll be bringing a storm to your house tomorrow. If your parents think they can scare me away with their so-called power, they should have done their research on who you were living with.”

With that the call ended. Jisung was left staring at himself in the dark screen of his phone with a look of utter shock mixed with confusion. What could Minho have been planning? Would this just land him in more trouble? He got up from his spot on the floor as he took a deep inhale. It felt nice to actually have air make it through his throat without him having to choke it up. Minho always made him so at ease, but there was still a touch of anxious feelings deep down. He had no idea what Minho was planning to do and it worried him. 

His phone gave off a soft ping as his screen lit up. The notification was from Minho, a file with a small text to go with it telling him not to stress too much about tomorrow. It was easier said than done but he tried to muster up as much courage and trust for Minho as he could.

He laid in his bed as he played Minho’s song over and over again until he was able to slowly drift into sleep. Having Minho softly sing in his ear was soothing, it sounded as if he were right there next to him singing the song to him himself. His shoulder eased slightly as his eyes closed and his breath steadied. He felt as if he were home. Not his actual home were he was born but his true home. His home with Minho. The man he fell in love with.

* * *

He woke up with a huge headache, his eyebrows furrowing as he sat up to stare at himself in the mirror. He moved to get up from his bed as his eyes caught an unfamiliar car pull up in his driveway. His body scooted down his bed as he looked out the window. His eyes widening at what he saw, his heart beating up in his throat. 

Minho stepped out of the car with his hair styled and wearing a suit Jisung never would have guessed he even owned. From the other doors a couple got out, each of them looking equally as fancy. They looked richer than Jisung’s own parents if that was even possible. He ran down to the front door as he watched it all unfold.

Minho had a dark glare on his face as his arms were folded across his chest. The couple behind him now obviously his parents. Their voices were soft until they noticed Jisung standing behind his parents. Minho nodded before shifting his weight as his parents spoke.

“I believe you have threatened my son with the uses of the law and let me make myself clear. I am Minho’s father, you may know me ass Mr. Lee. Your  _ superior. _ ”

Jisung’s jaw dropped, he had to try to keep his snicker to himself as he pieced it all together. Minho  _ was  _ richer than his parents. Their family was at the top of the food chain when it came to money and power. Jisung’s parents gulped as they slowly turned to look at Jisung.

“Jisung sweetie...could you go back to your room?”

Minho frowned as he stepped into the house causing Jisung’s parents to move aside with fear in their eyes. He smirked at the thought of Jisung’s ‘all powerful’ parents shivering in their own skin just by the thought of Minho stepping into their home.

“No, he comes with me.”

Jisung ran to Minho, his arms wrapping around his neck as he hopped into his arms. Minho planted a soft kiss onto his cheek before pulling him away with a smile. 

“I missed you.”

He smiled at his parents before dragging Jisung out of the house before they could get a proper introduction. He grabbed Jisung’s hand, his thumb rubbing along the top of the younger’s hand as he softly spoke.

“Sorry I didn’t tell you my plan, I figured meeting my parents would make you nervous. You don’t have to meet them now but eventually I’d like you guys to meet. Since..you know..”

“Do you think we’ll end up together?”

Minho was taken back by the question but he smiled widely before moving Jisung to face him. His hands moved to cup Jisung’s face gently before leaning his forehead against the other’s.

“I really hope so, but it’s up to you if you want to let me into your heart. I know you’ve only been hurt time and time again for letting someone in so I understand if it takes time. But I’ll wait forever.”

Jisung hummed in response. His nose moved to rub along Minho’s before he whispered softly to the other.

“Minho can I kiss you?”

Minho didn’t even respond, he just let their lips meet. It was the most gentle kiss Jisung had ever had. Minho was so gentle with him. So kind to him. He really hoped they’d end up together too. He hoped that when he was ready to let Minho in. Minho would still be there waiting for him. 


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the one where minsung ship sails

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> LORD i need to update more frequently but i SUCK

It had been almost a month later since the two shared a kiss. Jisung seemingly already had forgotten about it while Minho only dwelled on it. He sighed as he watched the younger get ready for work, his fingers running through his blue hair as his eyes stared into the mirror. 

“Jisung why do you try so hard when you’re just going to work?”

Jisung looked over at the other before looking back into the mirror. “Get more tips if I look attractive you know? I’m just a poor poor boy.”

Minho rolled his eyes, his fingers twiddling with his keys. “Don’t say that Jisung, you’re attractive without even trying. You know, I get so upset when all you do is put yourself down. It’s like it’s all you know how to do and I just wished you were more positive about yourself.”

“Sorry..Oh um, by the way you don’t have to pick me up from work today. I’m going to a party with Felix and Seungmin. If you don’t hear from me I’m either dead or spending the night at Seungmin’s.”

“Don’t joke about dying Sungie..”

Jisung looked at Minho through the mirror with a slight frown. Minho’s eyebrows were furrowed as he stared back at the younger with an unreadable expression.

“Text me if you need a ride home okay? Who’s supposed to be the designated driver? Since, I just presume you’re looking to get drunk?”

Jisung finally left the bathroom as he grabbed his bag without answering Minho’s questions. He nodded along to show that he wasn’t ignoring the elder as they walked out of their shared house. The drive to the cafe was silent, the radio being the only sound being able to be heard between the two. Once they arrived Jisung unclipped his seat belt and began to get out of the car but he was stopped by Minho gripping his arm.

“Jisung please..text me or have someone text me if you need a ride. They can all crash at our place for all I care. I just want you safe, you’re my best friend.”

Minho tried to keep his composure as he choked down the words ‘best friend’. He didn’t want to rush jisung into a relationship considering his past love life. It was tearing Minho apart day by day but he told himself he would wait for the younger.

“Okay, okay! I’ll have Seungmin text you. He hates drinking anyways.”

He slithered out of Minho’s grip as he walked into the cafe. He set his things into the staff room before meeting up with Seungmin behind the counter. “Ready for tonight? You know you’re the beloved designated driver in case we end up drinking right? You’re also my fake boyfriend for the night, I don’t particularly want to be felt up.”

“Fake -- huh!?” Seungmin’s mouth gaped. Jisung hummed as he threw up a peace sign with a weak smile. Seungmin couldn’t even ask more questions before the other had walked away to do his rounds. He let out a loud sigh before going back to his own work.

Before the two knew it Felix was sitting on the counter as they cleaned. The freckled male singing along with the radio. He was practically giving them a concert as they worked, or that’s what Felix had said. He settled down once the two had changed from their uniforms and now stood staring back at him.

“Oh hold on, Jisung babe lemme redo your makeup.”

Jisung didn’t expect to be dragged over the counter as Felix rummaged through his bag with a soft hum. “I’m so glad you’re going on to a party on you and Hyunjin’s little anniversary. Not like you’re together, cuz obviously you’re not. I think it’s a good idea you’re away from Minho tonight anyways, you’d probably end up crying and he’d be really worried blah blah blah.”

Jisung swallowed hard as he listened to Felix’s deep voice. He was right but it hurt him so much more than he thought it would. It was harder to deny it when someone else was saying it instead of him just thinking about it.

“There, your makeup is all done and damn. You look hot, doesn’t he Seungmin?”

Jisung glanced over at the other who had a stupid grin on his face. He never understood how he could be so smiley all the time. He was just like a dog, always so happy.

The three walked from the cafe into the club. The music boomed through Jisung’s ears. The vibration sending chills through his veins. He smiled before dragging the two onto the dance floor. Jisung had lost track of time. Lost track of how many drinks went into his system. All he knew was he was staring at none other than Hwang Hyunjin. The two staring at each other.

“I knew you’d be at some dumb party.”

Jisung couldn’t look away as Hyunjin backed him into a wall, his hand firmly pressed on the wall next to his head. “What were you expecting to happen wearing this Jisung? Looking this good at a club. With who? Who even left you alone?”

The younger took a breath in before letting it out quickly, “What are you doing?”

“Nothing, I’m just talking with you Jisung. I’m just curious, you’ve been telling everyone how shitty I am haven’t you? My mother called me asking why that little Han boy was bad mouthing me to his parents.”

“I haven’t said anything that wasn’t true. Hyunjin I’m so sick of you trying to get under my skin. You only want attention. I’m convinced you never even wanted me to be your boyfriend, you probably didn’t even like me like I liked you. I don’t want to go hook up with you again. Just admit it, you hate that Minho and I could be together at any moment. You don’t want me to quote unquote get over you. You hate the thought of me with someone else.”

Hyunjin grit his teeth as he shifted his body to stand closer to the younger with a scowl. Jisung shrank under the other as he tried to keep his confidence but obviously failed to do so.

“Why do you do this Hyunjin? What gain do you get? Do you want me to be honest? I loved you Hyunjin! I..I really did but you pushed me away and it fucking hurt like hell to be rejected by someone you thought you’d spend the rest of your life with. I had so many secrets that only you knew, I didn’t want people to know me like you did. They wouldn’t have accepted me but..you didn’t either. I loved you so much and I lost you. It hurts so fucking much Hyunjin! My head is always dark ever since you pushed me away. I’m so negative with myself and I can’t escape how much I hate myself. I wasn’t what you wanted so I just assumed I wouldn’t be what anyone wanted. Can’t you see what you’re doing to me? Can you just please leave me alone!? I can’t live like this anymore..”

Jisung took heavy breathes as he looked around, Felix had made his way through the crowd and was standing behind Hyunjin. Hyunjin was still, as if he didn’t know how much trouble he was causing Jisung. The younger pushed passed him as he clung onto Felix. His shoulders shaking as he sobbed into the crook of his neck.

“I just want to get wasted and forget this whole day ever happened..”

Felix took one last glance at Hyunjin before guiding the other to the bar. He watched as Jisung drank glass after glass. “Seungmin had found someone and I guess he’s spending the night with them..I’ll take you home Sung. I haven’t drank..”

He was speaking to a brick wall but he felt like he had to say something. Anything. He sighed as Jisung’s body fell onto his shoulder. His head nuzzling into his chest. 

“I really hope you will be able to let yourself open up to Minho like you do with Hyunjin. He’d accept you no matter what form you took. You could be a monster for all he would care. He really does like you a lot..”

Jisung mumbled something inchorient as he pulled the freckled male closer to him. His head moving to look up at Felix with a pout.

“Felix I’m so tired of being alive..”

Felix ran his fingers through the others hair as he tried not to cry at the others' words. He blinked away tears as he stared back at the male slumped over his body. 

“I love you Jisung, so many people do..I wish I could show you how much people would miss you if you disappeared.”

“People wouldn’t notice.”

Felix pulled out his phone as he started texting Minho. He looked over at Jisung periodically before sliding his phone back into his pocket. “Come on Sungie, let’s get you home..”

Jisung sat up as Felix grabbed his hand. Their bodies leaving the booming room, the fresh air hitting their skin as they left. 

“Jisung I hope you remember at least some of tonight, people would notice if you were gone. You’re more cherished than you think. I hate that Hyunjin has broken you down so much. It hurts me so much to see you like this.”

Minho made his way to the sidewalk that Jisung and Felix stood on, his body leaving his car instantly. His hands moved to cup Jisung’s face so that their eyes met. Jisung’s eyes looked so sad. So tired. Minho wanted to cry at how ruined Jisung looked at that moment.

“Let’s go home Jisung.”

Minho opened the passenger seat for Felix as he set Jisung down into the backseat. Jisung’s body flopped down as he laid on the seats almost lifelessly.

Minho leaned over as his lips pecked at the younger’s forehead. His heart aching as he moved away, his body moving to the driver's seat.

Felix and Minho were talking softly but Jisung couldn’t make out the words. His head was pounding as he stared out the window mindlessly. He couldn’t focus on one image, his vision was fuzzy and it felt like he was moving in circles. He felt like he was going to throw up as he rolled over. Felix looked in the rear view mirror before making a face. 

“Minho I hope you don’t treat this car like a baby cuz--”

“I know, I heard him.”

Jisung’s head hung from the side of the seat as he stared at his puke that now laid on the car's floor. He gripped the side of the seat. He wanted to apologize but his voice wouldn’t leave his throat. Minho had pulled his body up gently. He wiped Jisung’s face with his shirt sleeve before carrying him to his bedroom. “If you get sick again I have a trash can next to your bed. There’s a bottle of water on your desk.”

“Minho, he can’t sleep in that, at least take off his makeup.”

Felix hummed as he wiped Jisung’s face with a makeup wipe. “You’re so pretty Sung, you know that right? Without all this makeup, you’re so pretty.”

Jisung didn’t respond, his mind was elsewhere. He was so tired, he felt like he could sleep for once and he just wanted to grab onto that feeling before it went away. He didn’t even notice Minho had pulled his shirt over his head to put him into a hoodie. He could feel Minho’s breath on his ear as he whispered something to him but he couldn’t make out what he had said.

His body hit his pillows as his whole body shut down. He left Minho and Felix quietly watching his chest rise and fall without a word exchanged. Felix started to leave the room but was stopped by Minho’s voice.

“You can crash here for the night, it’s too late to leave alone. You can sleep in my room. I’ll take the couch.”

“No way this is your house, I’ll take the couch.”

The two moved to the living room to continue the conversation at hand. Minho’s eyes narrowed. “Felix don’t argue with me, take my bed. Besides, I want to be able to hear Jisung moving around so being on the couch is better. If he wakes up I’ll know.”

“You really fell hard for him didn’t you, Min?”

Minho was taken aback from the question. He had no idea how to really answer it. He knew he had feelings for Jisung and he was vocal about them to the other but was it obvious to others? He glanced into Jisung’s room before meeting Felix’s eyes.

“Yeah..but I’m not wanting a relationship until he wants one. I shouldn’t force him to feel anything. I want to respect his space more than anything. He means so much to me..”

Felix smiled, his body moving to Minho’s room. He paused in the doorframe as his eyes moving to Minho for a moment. 

“You know, I think he wants to be with you, he’s just scared. Hyunjin messed with his mind again tonight and he just spiraled. I don’t know if he told you but it was their anniversary today. Well, if they were dating still but..he’s still hung up on it. Hyunjin doesn’t know how to leave him alone. I think dating you would be a really fresh option for him. I know he knows that but I also know he’s scared of all the what ifs.”

Minho sank into the couch as he listened carefully. He stared into Jisung’s room as he watched the other roll over so he was facing him. He studied the younger’s facial features as the moonlight lightly shined through his curtains. He was so beautiful. 

“I’m going to end up fighting Hyunjin again if he makes Jisung cry again.”

“You know that’ll only worry him.”

Minho grunted softly before turning to face Felix, “You should get some sleep. I’ll call Jisung in so he doesn’t have to work tomorrow. You can hang out with him tomorrow since I presume tonight was ruined by Hyunjin.”

“Yeah..thanks Minho. I appreciate you letting me stay. You’re a really good friend. I hope Jisung is able to trust you with his heart soon.”

“Me too..”

* * *

Jisung woke up with a raging headache, his hand rubbing his forehead as a low groan left his lips. He rolled over only to meet eyes with Minho. He yelped as his body pressed against the wall to create some distance between the two.

“Sorry I didn’t mean to scare you, I was just about to leave this here and leave.”

“What is it?”

Jisung peeked from the blanket. His mouth formed a huge grin as he noticed the arrangement of food on his desk. 

“Cheesecake and chocolate milk?”

Minho scratched the back of his neck as he shifted his weight from his legs. He seemed nervous almost.

“Well yeah, didn’t you say that was your favorite? I just assumed you’d want to get over a hangover with your favorite food. Though, after that milk you need to drink all of that water. Felix told me how much you drank and I’m guessing the hangover is not pleasant.”

“Are hangovers ever pleasant?”

Minho chuckled softly. His hand instinctively ran through Jisung’s hair. The other relaxed with the touch. He felt so at ease with even a single touch from the elder. Minho’s hand moved down to rest onto Jisung’s cheek, his eyes softening as the two made eye contact. Minho had no idea how he ended up on the younger’s bed. He just lost himself in the moment, their foreheads pressed together as Jisung’s hand grasped Minho’s wrist as his hand cupped his face. It was almost perfect until--

“Hey Jisungie are you awake? Minho has been in your room for what seems like forever!”

Felix’s voice rang through the air as he made his way into Jisung’s room. His hand slapped his mouth. His eyes settling on the scene before him. Minho sighed as the moment ended, Jisung’s hand dropping from his as he looked over at the freckled male.

“Felix!”

Minho leaned back against the wall. The two others were practically bouncing around the room as they held each other’s hands. Felix smiled at the elder who seemed upset at the spoiled moment. His hand cupping Jisung’s ear as he softly spoke to him.

“Hey sungie, did I come at a bad time? Were you two gonna kiss or something?”

Jisung’s eyes widened before looking back at the male sitting on his bed. Were they? Now he felt bad, they were so content in that little bubble of theirs until he saw Felix. He got so excited to see his friend he completely ignored what could’ve been a perfect moment to kiss.

Jisung cupped his hands over Felix’s ear as he nervously spoke. 

“Did I ruin it? Do I even deserve to kiss Min? Is that leading him on?”

Minho quirked an eyebrow up as Felix stopped to stare at him for a moment then went back to whispering with Jisung. Did they want him to leave? They were obviously having some sort of conversation that they didn’t want the whole room to hear.

“But come on Jisung, is it really leading him on when you want it too?”

“Well, no but..I don’t know if I’m ready.”

Felix took a deep breath before taking Jisung’s face. His hands squished the elder’s cheeks before speaking lowly. “Hyunjin has conditioned you to never be ready for a relationship that isn’t with him. I need you to take that step with Minho, he’ll take care of you okay? He won’t leave you and he certainly won’t reject you. Jisung, he  _ loves  _ you.”

Jisung swallowed hard. Minho loves him? But why? It’s not like he’s attractive or anything. There’s so many more people Minho could date. Jisung is just...Jisung. He’s damaged. He’s afraid. He’s high maintenance. 

Felix grabbed Jisung’s shoulders as he turned him to face Minho. Jisung blinked in shock though he quickly smiled as Minho stared back at him. “Go for it sungie..if you fall, he’ll catch you. Trust him.”

Jisung looked back at the male behind him before he moved to sit down next to Minho. His eyes watched as Felix left the room with soft apologies to Minho. The two were left alone in the room again but the air felt different than before.

Jisung glanced over at Minho, his mouth felt dry as he tried to put together words to form some sort of coherent sentence. He opened his mouth but Minho beat him to it.

“Look, Jisung. I know what Felix told you. I can read you like a book. You don’t have to try and ignore the fact that you’re scared. I’m perfectly fine with waiting for you.”

“No!”

Minho blinked as Jisung bursted out the word. He seemed surprised himself, his hands shooting to his mouth. Minho almost wanted to laugh at the shock painted onto the other’s face but he kept it contained as he started to speak again.

“I mean..no it’s not that. I..I really like you too Minho. I’m scared to drop the L bomb so I’ll stick to really like for now. Um..I want to give us a try..? Is that how you ask someone out? That doesn’t sound right. I want to be able to kiss you and not feel like I messed something up? That’s worse oh my god!”

Minho couldn’t help it. He burst into laughter. He held his stomach as his head leaned against the wall. Jisung stared at him dumbfounded, what was so funny? 

“Shut up! I don’t see you asking me to be your boyfriend..”

Minho stopped almost abruptly, his mood shifting instantly. His eyebrows furrowed as his hand gripped Jisung’s chin. Jisung’s adam's apple bobbed slowly. His whole face showed how painfully nervous he was.

“Jisung, I would love to be your boyfriend. But promise me one thing okay?”

“Okay, anything.”

Minho’s eyes softened. His head tilted as his lips pecked the corner of Jisung’s mouth softly before speaking. “I want you to trust me. I want you to let me know when it’s too much for me. I want you to know you can never mess things up with us. I want you to take this step by step with me. I want you to know you’re safe here. And most importantly, I want you to know you’re the one thing I could have ever wanted. I wouldn’t have wanted anyone else.”

Jisung pressed his lips together as tears welled up in his eyes. He moved his hand to cover his mouth to muffle the soft cries escaping his lips. Minho’s eyes searched his face frantically as he tried his best to help.

“Min...that means so much to me..I..I really fucking like you.”

Minho smiled gently as his thumb brushed along Jisung’s eyes. The two didn’t exchange any words after that. Their lips were too busy pressed against each others. 

Jisung’s heart raced, his mind seemingly cleared of all his racing thoughts. He was glad he took the treacherous step with Minho. He trusted the elder with all his being. He felt like at least some of his life seemed positive. Maybe, being alive wasn’t all that bad after all. Now that he was able to find a home in Minho.


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> its da holiday special hehe

It had been a few months after the two had gotten together. Jisung seemed to be getting better emotionally each day. Minho had helped his sleeping habits a lot as well. Jisung seemed to have opened up more. Usually he would just cage himself off. Felix had claimed it was Minho’s influence but the elder would just roll his eyes and say something along the lines of Jisung was just getting more comfortable with everyone. It would always cause Jisung to chuckle, the way Minho never thought he had a part in him opening up was cute. He was too humble with himself.

Today was like any other day really, Jisung would wake up later than Minho and the elder would be making breakfast for the two. The only difference was that it was the time of year that the holidays rolled around. Jisung didn’t really particularly have any feelings towards the holiday but he knew Minho liked it. He told himself he would try to match Minho’s enthusiasm, or at least try. 

He had dragged himself out of bed with a big yawn escaping his lips. He made his way behind Minho, his arms instinctively slithering around the latter’s waist.

“Good morning sungie, how did you sleep?”

Jisung hummed, he didn’t really wanna answer verbally. His body still half asleep as his head buried itself further into Minho’s neck. Minho didn’t press for an answer though. He just continued to work on their breakfast.

“I made my mom’s special pancakes. Which is really just regular pancakes but with fun food dye so it’s christmas colors. Apparently they look like ornaments.”

Jisung peeked over at the finished products before finally speaking up in a hushed voice. “They do.”

“Which reminds me, Han Jisung. We have yet to decorate our tree. You said we would do it a week ago but you seem to be avoiding it. You don’t have to help but you know, it’s a cute couple thing and you know how annoyingly sappy I am.”

Jisung’s eyes moved to the living room. Their tree was sitting in the corner of the room next to the window, completely empty. Felix planned on coming over to help Minho if he didn’t have Jisung join him in the end but Jisung always felt bad about not being able to feel the same excitement Minho had.

“I’ll help.”

Minho turned around quickly, his eyes sparkling. His hands cupped Jisung’s puffy cheeks as he cooed softly, “Really babe? Gosh I love you. I know this isn’t a big deal to you but..Thanks sungie.”

Jisung flinched at Minho’s ‘I love you’. It still scared him to say it back. It was an irrational fear at this point but he always just feared that the moment he said it back Minho would leave. Minho tilted his head, a thing he does when he’s trying to figure Jisung out.

“I’m fine Min, come on let’s decorate.”

“Right, Felix is also coming in like five minutes. I didn’t think you’d want to.” Minho moved to grab a box that had been sitting in their hallway for almost a week now. A huge grin on his face. “Oh also! I have something to ask you..I know you hate parties. I  _ know.  _ But..Felix and I were thinking..and-”

“Okay.”

Jisung moved to sit by the box, his hands taking out some of the ornaments. He could probably piece together what Minho was going to say. Felix wanted Jisung to be more comfortable in party scenes so he was most likely wanting him to go out on christmas with minho and do something. Jisung didn’t really mind all that much as long as he could be with Minho.

“Okay..? Jisung I never got to finish, how are you already agreeing? For all you know I could be asking you to hide a body.”

“I’d hide a body for you.”

Minho quirked an eyebrow up before nervously chuckling. He moved to sit next to Jisung as he grabbed a few ornaments for himself.

“Sometimes your jokes sound too serious. Stay out of trouble Jisung, yes that’s how we got to meet but murder is serverly different from selling a rock in a phone box.”   
  
“Why do you remember what I did?”   
  


Jisung smiled at the elder as he shrugged as an answer. The two standing up with a few things in their hands. Minho didn’t waste time, he started to work as he hummed along to the radio. Jisung looked at the tree in front of him, hesitant. He never really did this even as a kid. He would always watch the housemaids do it for his parents. Maybe that’s why he didn’t have any emotional attachment to the day. 

“Jisung, you alright?”

“Oh yeah, just thinking about how I’ve never really done anything for christmas. Like, ever. My parents just..didn’t seem to care for it so I guess I grew up not caring either.”

Minho put his things down as he pulled Jisung’s body close to his. His chin resting on top of the younger’s head. His lips let out a long sigh before he released the latter. 

“You know, there’s always time for new memories. I’m glad I’m able to gift them to you. Get it? Cuz it’s the holidays. A gift~”

Jisung stared at his boyfriend blankly before having a small smile appear on his lips. The joke was stupid but he gave the elder a small laugh to stroke his ego.

“Anyways, babe, what I was saying before you just randomly agreed to what I said. Felix was inviting us to a small party at Changbin’s parents house. We do it every year ever since he was quote unquote adopted by Changbin. We spend a few days there and changbins mom makes us dinner and it’s really fun. It’s just Felix, his two boy toys, and if you want..us.”

Jisung stood still as he listened to it all, his fingers playing with the ornaments placed in his hands earlier. Minho was right, he didn’t like parties all that much but he felt like he could probably be fine with spending a few nights with their friends. He didn’t know changbins mother but he felt comfortable around their group of friends. 

“Okay. I’ll go. Just for you.”

Minho smiled, his hands quickly putting the leftover ornaments up that he had in his hands before he moved to kiss jisung. Jisung jumped, the kiss was a bit rough at first but it became softer as the two kept going. Jisung’s hands wrapping around the elders neck to bring them closer.

Minho pulled away with a grin, his eyes crinkling. “Now let’s finish the tree before felix comes and expects us to be ready to leave for changbins.”

Jisung and minho finished in no time, the two staring at the tree with bright smiles. 

“Looks really good sungie. You have a good eye for stuff like this.”

“I did decorate the cafe so I guess it comes easy.”

Minho hummed as he tugged the younger into their now shared room. He grabbed a suitcase as he started putting his clothes into it. “Here sungie, pick whatever you’d liked. I know you wear my clothes more than your own.”

Jisung’s lips curled into a sly smile before his hands started grabbing some of his boyfriends clothes. “They’re more comfortable. Nice and cozy, and it’s always a plus to have them smell like you. Makes me feel safe.”

“That’s cute babe, now pack.”

Once they finished, Minho moved it into his car right when Felix had pulled into the driveway. Felix smiled brightly, his body flinging towards jisung as the two shared a tight hug.

“Did minho tell you?”

“About the party? Yeah, I agreed to join him.”

Felix pulled away from the hug, his eyes sparkling as he stared at jisung. 

“You agreed?! Oh my god, yes!! This’ll be the best year yet. I get to be with my boyfriend, best friend and minho!”

“Hey!”

Minho shot a playful glare at the freckled male before speaking up again. “You’ll be with both of your boyfriends right? Or are you and Chan still fighting?”

Felix’s smile faltered for a bit before he looked over at minho with a hum. “We’re not fighting really but I don’t know..I had one rule for him and that was not to deal to jisung. I told him how important it was to me that jisung didn’t relapse. I just..”

“Have you let him explain?”

Jisung’s voice was soft but everyone could hear it. Felix glanced back over at his best friend. His eyes softened before looking away again.

“No..”

Minho’s eyes rolled, his arms wrapping around jisung as he pulled his back against his own chest. “You should Lix, jisung had said that night was just overwhelming and he went back to what was, at the time, safe and familiar to him. But that’s just what I’ve heard from half of the story. He's your boyfriend Felix, you should let him explain and apologize. It’s Christmas. You should be spending it with  _ both  _ changbin and Chan.”

Felix nibbled his lip, his hand gripping his phone almost to the point that his knuckles were white, “you’re right. As always.”

He moved away from the couple as his hand moved to his ear. His phone pressed against his rosy cheeks as he spoke softly to the other person on the line.

“Do you think they’ll make up?”

“Oh I know they will. Chan was planning on apologizing and proposing today. He knows how much Felix loves this holiday so why not add more happiness and make the three married you know?”

Jisung leaned into minho with a grin, picturing it all was such a cute image. “How would that work? Would Felix get proposed to twice? Or would chan propose to Felix and Felix would propose to changbin? Though changbin seems like the type of guy to want to one up someone in a proposal. Fun little game for the three of them.”

Minho shrugged, his fingers moving to run through jisung’s hair, “whatever they decided it’s happening tonight. After the big dinner and we go to open gifts.”

Jisung nodded, his body turning so that the two were facing. “I think that it’s really romantic.”

“What is?”

Felix's voice surprising both of the two. Minho chuckled as jisung practically jumped into his arms. 

“Oh nothing, I was just flirting with him.”

Jisung felt his cheeks heat up, his head nuzzling into minhos neck. Felix didn’t seem to buy it causing minho to bring his lips to jisung’s ear. His hand sliding into the youngers back jeans pocket.

“Min!” Jisung squirmed as minhos lips scattered kisses down the latter’s neck.

Felix smiled fondly. His hands moving the couple towards the elders car as he began to speak. 

“Let’s go, changbin is waiting at his parents’. I’m going to pick up chan, minho you know the way. Try not to get too riled up with jisung~”

Jisung groaned loudly. His arms trying to push himself away from minhos latch. He had him tight in a hug, no way out of this one. “Shut up felix, we’re taking it slow and there’s no way we’re doing it in a car.”

Minho snorted softly, jisung’s reaction wasn’t expected to keep going. He just assumed he’d stop at ‘shut up’. Jisung whined, his hands gripping minhos shirt as the elder continued to laugh.

“See you there guys, I’ll meet you there after getting chan.”

Minho gave him a thumbs up before opening the car door for the younger. “In you go my dear.”

Jisung got in and minho followed him, the two watching Felix drive out before minho backed out. His hand moving to rest onto jisung’s thigh as his other hand stayed on the wheel. 

They drove up to a huge house, jisung’s eyes widened at the sight. It looked like a house he would be afraid to step inside into. Somewhere he’d have to watch his every step and make sure he didn’t break anything by accident.

“Babe, chill. I know that look. Changbins mom is legit an Angel. Chan broke something when he came and she legit laughed. Don’t worry about it. If you feel better, stick closer to me.”

Jisung nodded as he got out of the car. He grabbed their shared suitcase as the two walked up to the door. Minhos hand resting on the small of his back. His other hand already knocking on the door.

A woman opened up with a huge smile, “Minho! And look at you, brought a guest? Now who must you be?”

“I’m..”

“My friend, jisung.”

Jisung nodded but catching on, his eyebrows furrowing. Friend? He stayed quiet as his fingers gripped the suitcase, his eyes wandering elsewhere.

“Well welcome jisung, you seem shy but know that you’re always welcome here. Any friend of minhos is a friend of ours!”

Minho hummed as he tugged jisung into the house, “we’ll just be a sec.”

He pulled jisung into a room before taking jisung’s face into his hands.

“Baby, look at me.”

“You called me your friend..”

“I know I know, but she knows my parents and she has a big mouth. I wanted to introduce you as my boyfriend to my parents myself not have a third party butt in. I’m sorry we never talked it over.. does this make you feel better?”

Jisung shrugged as his lips turned into a pout.

“Does that mean we can’t kiss under the mistletoe? Or cuddle? Or..Minho I can’t sleep without you.”

Minho chuckled as he moved to kiss jisung’s cheek. “No matter what you can’t just not kiss under a mistletoe. And we can still cuddle, you and Felix cuddle and you’re just friends. I’ll figure out the sleeping arrangements okay? Jisung, look at me…”

Jisung’s eyes finally met minhos with small tears in the corners.

“Baby… don’t worry. I have this all planned out, I love you. Friends tell each other they love each other. We’re fine.”

The two nodded before walking out of the room. Chan, changbin and Felix seemed to be talking to the woman when they joined them. Felix smiled as he practically jumped onto jisung with a fond giggle. 

They moved to the dinner table and then opened gifts. Chan nervously playing around with a gift addressed to felix. Felix hadn’t noticed until changbin had nudged him. “You have one more gift felix.”

Felix looked under the tree before sitting up with a blank stare. “No I don’t, changbin don’t get my hopes up man!”

Changbins mom chuckled to herself before moving felix's body to face chan. “There sweetie.”

Chan smiled as Felix stared back with a slight rosy color to his cheeks. “Listen, felix i know we haven’t been on the best of terms but.. when you called me today I got really happy and I was reminded just how much I love you. You let me explain and..I just don’t deserve you but.. if you’d let me.”

Felix blinked before covering his mouth with his hands, his eyes tearing up as chan got out of his seat and onto one knee. His hand opening the present box with a shy smile, “if you’d let  _ us _ marry you?”

Changbin smiled as his hands moved to wrap around felix's body. His mother squealed as she took thousands of photos. Felix looked over his shoulder at changbin before looking back at chan. His cheeks burning as he started nodding with a huge grin, “what the fuck. Of course!”

Minho pulled jisung closer to him as they watched it all go down. Jisung smiled, his head nuzzling into Minho’s neck. His eyes closing as he took a deep breath of minho's scent. “That was beautiful”

“Not as beautiful as you.”

Minho's voice was soft, his hands rubbing jisung’s arm as they sat watching. Comfortable in their own company.

* * *

Everything settled down, chan had moved to sleep with Felix and changbin was left with his mother and the couple labeled as friends.

“Alright, changbin has an open bed in his room and then we have a guest room. Whatever you guys want. I’m sorry you two can’t share a room, changbin said he wanted his room for some stupid reason. Separating the friends that came together is so rude but you can blame changbin for that. I’m going to head to bed boys, nice meeting you jisung.”

“You too..”

Once she was out of earshot, Jisung shot a dark glare at changbin.

“I want to strangle you.”

Minho let a little laugh out before letting his lips explore jisung’s neck, “babe calm down. We can just make it look like I chose the guest room and then I’ll make my way to your bed. Don’t worry I haven’t forgotten about your need to be hugging something to sleep.”

“Okay..then I’m going to bed and waiting for you. I’m tired of acting like I don’t want to kiss you 24/7.”

Changbin and jisung got up and left to go to his room. Minho sighing as he looked at the guest room for a bit before eventually getting up as well.

“Maybe one day, we’ll get to be engaged jisung. Maybe even on Christmas. Or you know, New Years is so much more romantic. Good thinking minho. Oh you know, thanks minho.”

Minho running his hand through his hair as he chuckled, talking to himself. Really? He shook his head before changing into more comfortable clothes. It wasn’t long before he made it into changbins room and slotted himself with jisung. Jisung was already half asleep, his body relaxing against the elders once he had made his way into the bed.

Minho hummed as he thought some more. Marrying jisung, that’s something he’s always wanted to do. He just doesn’t know when the best time would be. Jisung was obviously upset about being hidden from changbins mother so him being Minho's little secret was out of the story. He should probably introduce his own boyfriend to his parents before they ended up engaged shouldn’t he? He sighed as he pulled the younger closer to him. His head was full of random thoughts that had no real end to them. All he knew was eventually, he wanted to be in Chan’s position. But with jisung staring back at him. 


End file.
